Itās been a few months since Iāve been in therapy. I found the greatest therapist of all time and then she became overbooked and I havenāt seen her since.
I feel like I went enough tho that I have all the tools I need to help myself, I just need to remember I need to practice these tools and they arenāt always easy to learn.
One thing Iāve been noticing lately is I hate, HATE feeling negative. I feel like it eats me alive, it eats my soul and happiness, and Iām left feeling like shit.
My go to before was to just figure out what made me feel like shit, and then react negatively to that person or situation. In my
head I feel like I have a right to be upset, my feelings are justified, but theyāre not if theyāre negative.
When I react negatively I feel negative, and I really believe that this negativity builds up and changes who you are.
Getting rid of my instinct to not react negatively is hard, but Iāve been trying really hard to work on it and talk to myself intuitively.
I donāt like to feel negative. When I feel happy and positive itās because of the way Iām thinking and treating myself. It really is all up to me. People used to tell me I way my worst enemy but I always felt like the victim because I was making myself one out of situations I didnāt even need to react to.
When I get upset now I try to also forgive myself for being mad, and I push myself to do better. Itās been a really great month despite my lack of posting, I know it can only get better too.
After Iām done this silly period I wanna go show you guys all of the snow we have right now itās beautiful and so are you š„°
