glitterflower

I thought about letting my illness getting to the grave. It’..

Published: September 11th 2024, 7:28:17 am

I thought about letting my illness getting to the grave. It’s unfair to live with crazy mentally ill mom & brother. She did nothing but harm me and steal my stuff. She was biggest bully and so was my brother. Nothing but trauma. Then I remember events in middle-school. I was in a class with girls like her. They call me weird and make fun of me and try to talk to the guy friends I have for some reason and did ugly flip bangs cause that dumba$$ don’t know how to do her hair like that smh 🤦‍♀️. She act like my mom so evil and hostile with her friends too. They give me h3ll. Went to school depress and at home tolerate with evil ppl too. 5th-grade was fine because I was teacher pet and everyone was okay with me, the. Middle-School hit and everything was awful. Funny part is I wrote in my journal about giving up on life but my mother made a big deal and told me to throw away my diary and such just in case they investigated it. I realize now she manipulative me and she knew she was the problem. Evil and vile. She call me b word and to go d$3 every day since then. She mess with me and ground me when the counselor call social service and told me I’m grounded for causing trouble. Laugh that I go to foster care n it be worse. Honestly regret not tolerate it. She trapped me like that fat bitch Dray and her son has harm me just like my brother. I went to freedom and hated to go to Patton because their not much Asian ppl there. I realize that the evil parents force me to transfer to Patton. The preppy weird school that has pagnents, small payout for talent show winner, fashion show that was just in the hall ways. I didn’t enjoy transferring during freshman year. It always the crappy counselor causing errors and trouble. I walk like 30-40 minutes for the closest bus stop in freedom district. I met life time Asian friends until this day. I sleep over at my ex friend house and her mom was really kind to me. lol 😆 but then my parents was mad and force me to transfer. I was sad because the Hmong people at freedom was so kind to me. Then the one at Patton usually was okay for some. They just ignored me and copied my hair style. I felt so belonged at freedom in freshman year it was the best 2 week of my life. Having to meet so many people but then force to go to another school full of white ppl. My parents thought I get pregnant and I’m like wtf. They don’t want me to
Have Hmong friends and complain why I don’t speak Hmong. They are bad parents like my cousin Thomas say. Then the next year I transfer back and all the Hmong people move or graduate or transfer. I was sad because my parents try to took away friends. Friends that celebrated my birthday and took me home. Was there for me. I still talk to half of them. It was the best year 2011 10th grade because everyone was nice to me and kind in English class. I have classes with my best friends. It was the last time I have classes with them and I dreaded senior year because they all move and transfer. I was alone. I was sad cause my vang dad was leaving at 12th grade because my mother started to bullied him. I met my friends agains cause they made time for me even though they were in college. I was happy that I was able to drive. I don’t enjoy school because the environment of country side. My brother got to be homeschooled and got kick out of school. He even got back into school with a black guy body guard watching him to go to class. Then just stop showing up and went to mental hospital. I was happy he was gone. He went to foster care with a black momma. He was normal. For me he cause trauma. He was the only one to say sorry. It’s sad though. I use to held it so hard against him but he doesn’t hurt me anymore. He did feel sad that I might not live. lol 😆 He only went crazy because my mom told him to not have any friends and not to talk at school or talk about the family. For me I didn’t care because I want friends! She was crazy and vile.
When I went to therapy 2020 my therapist say my mom was narcissistic. I show her recording of her cussing at me and to go d$e over me eating and cooking in bedroom with a portable stove. Due to her always getting angry that I’m eating food. Imma cry 😢 it happen that same year the social service in morganton lied about my food stamp and want to threaten me and try to make me starve but I haven’t even live in that crappy district since 2016. It unfair how vile I grew up with her. Then I escaped it was good for 2 years without her. Then the company and the ppl with power have cause unnecessary stresss was evil just like her. It just make me cry everyday about it. I realize to save myself is to stand up for myself. Why should I tolerate the abuse. It just make me cry that so many people torment me while I was in pain. I’m grateful for iPhone because I recorded the events and gaslighting. Thank God for technology.

My ex was terrible and I have a bad feeling about him since 7th he didn’t really care for me and just played around. Then I ignore him. When he was in 9th he let his brother disrespect me and call me a b word and text other girls and such. I went to prom he was 11th and I was 10th. He fooorce it upon me when I told him no multiple times because the prom at freedom is going be stupid meaning it going be at a white building and making us paid like $50 per ticket. I went and it was okay prom. I enjoyed it but I was amaze with how they did breakdancing again for a little bit. He did met my mom too and claim she doesn’t seem that bad. I hate him so. I just depress because he let those female bullied me. Like that one girl he had the longest crush on. Just laugh if he try to raaape me for being shy and quiet. I’m angry cause that fat witch get to have 2 babies with ugly husband like herself. I don’t know why I endured him and my mom. It was awful. I don’t regret not marrying him because he had waste my time and life. It unfair that he get 3 kids when he not even a good person.