
π ~ A letter to my fans.
I have a drinking problem. No, I don't fuck around and get into trouble. It's more like, I get depressed, get a bottle and ignore all of the important facets of my life.
I don't wanna do this anymore.. I've been to AA, therapy, tried to put the bottle down and all I do is go back. I'll drink half a bottle of whiskey, and the next day literally finish off the other half. Sometimes without eating.
And when I get drunk, the world ceases to exist. I can't animate because I'm either in a crappy mood, or a don't-give-a-shit mood. I could care less about the consequences or even my subsciber count. It's like I want to be destined to fail.
But the other part of me wants to kick this addiction. If I didn't have it I'd spend every waking moment animating. But I'm too busy sabotaging myself to wake up and do the right thing... and it makes me feel ashamed. Not only for myself but to the people who support me. Your life isn't your own when people care about you. And I really need to stop because it's affecting me as well as those around me.
I really wanna do better... and it's okay to be disappointed in me... I'M disappointed in me... I can't promise this will end anytime soon because I'm the poster boy for making promises I can never keep. But.. I will promise I'll keep trying. I won't give up animation. But I really need to not give up on myself.