this venerable demon is grossly unqualified

BBnB - B1 Chapter 37

Published: April 27th 2025, 10:00:55 pm

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Daoist Enduring Oath stared into the flames.

It was a curious thing, his Mountain-Devouring Flame. Old Xiang had suggested he take it from the Treasure Pavilion, after he'd been granted the right to enter for his work on behalf of the Punishment Hall. Elder Asura's Chains had been so pleased to find a disciple willing to devote years to forging restraining chains that he'd increased the reward on the spot when Han Jian had volunteered to complete the entire requisition order on his own.

For the young man who had even then been set upon the name Daoist Enduring Oath, the whole labor had merely been a trial run. Hundreds of chi of iron links as thick around as a large man's thumb, capable of restraining even foundation establishment cultivators. An essential ingredient for crafting the restraining talismans that Elder Asura's Chains gave to his deputies. Yet far too weak for Han Jian's true purpose. In those days, he'd been so focused on capturing Bai Xiaotong, rather than killing him. It had mattered so very much to him, that the monster face true justice.

That men remembered his end, and through it the lives he had taken to earn that fate.

Han Jian had wanted to take a weapon from the pavilion. Despite being a blacksmith, he had never forged a blade of any worth. Certainly nothing capable of piercing the scales of the man who called himself the White Serpent. He always excelled at the twin extremes of great expanses of brutal iron, and delicate works of silver and jade more suitable for a jeweler's gentle hands.

But Old Xiang had been a legend for a reason. What disciple of the Azure Mountain would have disdained his advice? It had all worked out in the end, in ways Han Jian could never have expected.

Carefully, the daoist fed a few more scraps of paper into the fire. His latest commission had proven interesting. It had taken him months to even decide what form the tool would take. Let alone how he would give it the properties desired. Daoist Thousand Eyes had been apologetic from the moment he made the request. Insisted he had other ideas, if it was beyond Han Jian's skill.

It had nearly proved itself to be, but Daoist Enduring Oath could see the final shape of it now.

It would be a fishhook. The closest thing to a true weapon he'd made, since he forged his own chains. Daoist Thousand Eyes would need to find someone else to complete it, but even on its own, it would be a powerful treasure for any diviner.

The commission had been a welcome diversion from his work on Li Hou's gourd anyway.

Daoist Enduring Oath looked up at the piece, where it rested on a shelf. No plant, he'd wrought the whole of the shell from a single sheet of copper. He'd begun to etch out the first hints of the images that would adorn it, but not laid a single stone of inlay yet. It's only true decoration for the moment was a slash of sky-blue silk about the gourd's belly, an idea his brother had contributed.

Somehow, he'd felt like it would feel like surrendering hope, to complete the gourd before Li Hou recovered.

And so Daoist Enduring Oath returned to feeding secrets to the hungry flame. The many disciples who'd contributed had required a great deal of convincing, before they accepted he did not have a nefarious purpose for needing such things. But the voices of two elders vouching for his character had made it possible. The cruel curve of the hook itself was already cast, all that remained was to temper it in its intended purpose.

So, of course, that was when he felt a presence approaching his home and forge.

His heart ached, at the familiarity of it. His mind doubted, then believed, then hated itself for both weaknesses.

It wasn't Li Hou. It couldn't be. The presence was too heavy, its footfalls echoing across the world in a way that no mere qi condensation cultivator should. That curious deepness that made the great and mighty so obvious to his crippled senses, albeit in a weaker form than he'd ever imagined it could take.

But it had to be. It bore the band of jade he had forged. He should not be so emotional. The monkey wasn't even his disciple.

He left the priceless fire burning. The pile of painstakingly gathered confessions yet to be fed to the flames unattended. This was more important.

"Daoist Big Shiny!" A very familiar looking monkey shouted. His fur was different, shining like ore. He was a little taller, a little more muscular. But his spirited voice was unmistakable. "Rumors of my death are filthy lies!"

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"You're alive."

Orange-crest frowned.

"That's what Daoist Cooks Himself said."

"You've alive." Daoist Enduring Oath repeated. "He succeeded."

Orange-crest ignored the unintentional slight. He'd seen how hard his brother had tried. That was worthy.

"You had two seasons. No good greeting-joke for orange-crest?"

"Orange-crest? I thought it was orange-hair? Is that because of the-"

"No." Orange-crest cut him off. He loved his new strength, but he still felt more uncertain about the change in fur-color. The crest was most important, and he loved the shiny flecks, but he would need to learn to love the reddish-brown that now dominated his fur. "Was missing the right word. Brother gave it to me. Is truer name, than the old translations. A name like persimmon hair."

"I see. It is good to be properly introduced then, orange-crest. You know me as Daoist Enduring Oath, but I was born to the name Han Jian."

So serious! What was going on with big-shiny? He didn't look like he'd suffered as his Daoist Scouring Medicine had. Was he just in a serious mood?

With formless-gleam missing, and his brother's request that he keep his recovery secret from the other disciples, there wasn't that much to do on the mountain. He could look for the fox. Or do some fishing, perhaps. If he was really secretive about it. But neither of those had called to him like reuniting with the second human on the mountain who properly knew him.

But if this is what his not-quite-brother-yet wanted, orange-crest would play along. The humans hadn't seen him for a long time, for him, it was yesterday.

"I see you, Han Jian" Orange-crest intoned solemnly. "It is good, to have knowings of your secret name."

"It's not actually a secret" Daoist Enduring Oath said sheepishly. "I just don't use it as often as the others."

Orange-crest squinted at him.

"Don't act weird just because I was gone for seasons."

Daoist Enduring Oath suppressed a chuckle, turning the exhalation into a cough. A moment later, he surrendered to the laughter. It was good to hear the deep chuckles, so similar to big-butt's laughter. Orange-crest had always felt safe, when his biggest brother laughed like that.

"Come on in Li Hou, and have some tea. I assume your master will be along presently?"

"Much better."

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"And in this vision, you were larger than me?" Daoist Enduring Oath asked.

"Much. I was the biggest. Even bigger than big-butt."

"This big-butt was the leader of your pack, yes? He is larger than your king and I?"

"Very much. Taller and bigger. Probably not stronger than you though. He is lazy. Only lifts heavy things when he has to. But he never did the monkey-meteor-throw." Orange-crest paused thoughtfully. "Ooh. You need to throw me again. We can make a big crater."

"Didn't your master ask you to avoid drawing attention to yourself."

"Don't rot my fun. Is a big mountain. Nobody will notice a few new craters."

"Perhaps later." Daoist Enduring Oath demurred. "This big-butt, he's the same sort of monkey as you."

Han Jian still found it a little difficult to take that name seriously. But these glimpses into the hierarchy of Mount Yuelu were fascinating to him. He knew spirit beasts were intelligent, but the monkeys apparently had a more complex society than any he'd ever met. Spirit beasts were normally reputed to be mostly solitary, interacting with humans as much as they did their own kind. Only dragons were reputed to have societies of their own kind as complex as men's.

"We don't call him big-butt because his butt is small." Orange-crest explained. "But he's a monkey. What does it mean to be the same sort?"

"Didn't your master make you read the Compendium of Materia Medica?"

"Oh. That. The divisions and orders of animals. No. Is a dumb man-thing."

"Could you explain that?"

"Men are very different. Different sizes, shapes, and colors. Your hands are bigger than little-girl-disciple's heads. Some of you have hair of charcoal, others of snow. But all are humans still. Why must monkeys be different?"

"I see." Daoist Enduring Oath wasn't getting into a debate on taxonomy with a monkey. He changed topic slightly, getting at his true question. "Knowing what you know now, do you think he is an instinctive cultivator then?"

Orange-crest shrugged.

"No idea. Monkeys don't think like that. Force things into categories when they don't quite fit. Maybe, he's what you call instinctive. Maybe he's just strong."

The conversation petered out for a time, as the two of them drank their tea. It felt surreal, to Han Jian. Like the intervening few months simply hadn't happened. To Li Hou, he supposed they hadn't.

"So, do you know what my stone-dream means?" The monkey asked eventually.

"I do not. Not beyond your own interpretations. I've never heard anything about men, monkeys, and dragons being special."

He'd heard plenty about men and dragons alone being special, but he wasn't going to tell the monkey that. It was a fascinating story. A pity he didn't have anything except conjecture to offer.

"Ah, that reminds me. I have something for you."

"Ooh." Orange-crest cooed. "Gift? For me?"

"Yes."

"Excellent! You are excellent daoist, Han Jian."

"Wait until you at least see the gift, before you sing my praises. It's not quite finished."

"No. You are no longer Daoist Big Shiny. You are Daoist Excellent Oath. I know the gift will be good because it is from you."

Daoist Enduring Oath retrieved the unfinished gourd from its place on the shelf. Li Hou accepted it with reverent care, turning it over in his hands.

"Shiny." Orange-crest murmured. "Is so light. Feels like a monkey could hold it with his tail. It even has a belt! A belt for it to go on my belt?"

"Li Xun mentioned your thoughts about Disciple Yang's belt. I thought it would make a good strap. I didn't want to forge a weapon or tool for you, but something you could always keep with you to remember your time at the Azure Mountain. I planned to decorate with an inlay, later."

Orange-crest nodded absently, still entranced by the gourd. The burnished copper was beautiful. The color of the a calm fire, or a spring sunset. He wasn't sure if his brother knew the many shades of orange were one of orange-crest's favorite colors, not merely the color he was. But knowing or not, he'd chosen the perfect colors. Orange like his crest, and a pretty blue belt like Yang Wei. Such a handsomely dressed gourd.

"Is excellent. Best gourd. But I have present for you too! Is perfect. Even goes in gourds!"

Orange-crest had been planning to save it for later, but now was a good time for it. There was no sense in waiting.

"Here. Keep gourd a little longer." Orange-crest said, pressing the beautiful treasure back into the daoist's hands. "Gonna go get it."

He was out the door before Daoist Enduring Oath could object.

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When Daoist Scouring Medicine arrived at his brother's residence, he found orange-crest waiting for him.

"You live!" The monkey shouted at him.

"What?"

"That's how we greet each other now, isn't it?"

"Very funny."

"I know." Li Hou said cheekily. "Come! We've been waiting for you!"

Daoist Scouring Medicine was tired. But the sight of his old friend and new disciple standing side by side gave new strength to his aching limbs.

"Why were you waiting on me?"

"Because gourd!" Li Hou proclaimed, holding his martial uncle's present above his head. "Can't open it for drinking without you! Also we only have medium wine."

"I do have more wine, Li Hou." Daoist Enduring Oath chimed in. "And it's good to see you, "

"But is it as good as mine?"

"Probably not." The daoist admitted.

"Come, come!" Li Hou insisted, dragging the two daoists along in his wake.

Daoist Scouring Medicine was not above admitting to himself that he'd eyed Li Hou's remaining spirit wine while the monkey had been petrified. It would hardly reverse the consequences of long term qi-deprivation, but a few mouthfuls certainly wouldn't hurt.

He'd had plans of his own, for this gathering, but they could wait until later. It would be nice, to have one last evening with his disciple and brother. He did not know when next they would have that opportunity.

The two daoists allowed Li Hou to drag them to seats, and ladle out cups of wine for them. Li Xun felt his mouth watering, at the qi-filled vapor wafting forth from the open vessel.

Then he unstoppered his new gourd, and plunged it right into the clay vessel, watching bubbles stream to the surface.

"I told you I had a funnel." Daoist Enduring Oath said.

"But I wanted to do it this way."

"There's going to be hair in the wine." Daoist Scouring Medicine complained.

Li Hou shrugged at him in that oh so very human way he'd picked up.

"Is good for you. And there was probably already hair in the wine."

"To being alive still!" Li Hou declared, holding his gourd aloft.

The two men shared a glance.

"To your recovery." They replied.

The three of them drank in unison, and for one quiet moment, the troubles of the world receded.

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"Are you sure you want to share the whole vessel with us?" Daoist Scouring Medicine asked, hesitating before pouring himself a third cup. "You might be able to use what remains for your next breakthrough."

"Shh." Li Hou said, covering the daoist's mouth with his palm. "Next person who asks that has to drink another cup."

Li Xun gently removed his unfilial disciple's hand from his face, smiling all the while.

"Ah, I don't think I've felt this burn in years. And it must be doing wonders for your parched channels, brother." Han Jian said happily, slowly rocking in place. "Spirit wine is so expensive at the market, I rarely indulge. Perhaps there's something to be said for having a brewer around."

"If we'd had one before, Brother Cao would have run him off."

"He wasn't that bad."

"I'm better at diplomacy than he is at relaxation." Li Xun said dryly.

"That is fair. Speaking of Cao and his master, why do you continue working for the Medical Pavilion? I was beyond surprised to see Li Hou appear at my door unaccompanied."

Li Xun sighed. And just like that, the troubles of the world returned. The night was still young, but they would not have the whole of it for revelry.

"Even if you changed your mind about the worth of treating Disciple Zhang, you hardly need to continue to submit to Elder Lu's impossible work schedule." His brother continued. "What does he still hold over you?"

"Nothing."

"Then, why?"

"Come now, Han Jian. You know why."

Li Xun did not wince, the moment understanding and hurt blossomed in unison across his brother's face. He had always been more loyal to the sect than Li Xun. It would have been uncharitable, to say that it was because Han Jian had not left a family behind to join it. Or because he'd suffered less, at its hands. A younger Li Xun might have thought it, but was wiser than that now. Daoist Enduring Oath simply believed more firmly in the vision behind the Azure Mountain than he did.

"They will hunt you." His brother said quietly.

Li Xun turned toward his disciple. Li Hou was watching them carefully, his eyes sharp and clear, despite the occasional sips he took from his new gourd.

"Li Hou. You once said that the Monkey King of Mount Yuelu would be willing to shelter me from the wrath of the sect. Do you still believe that."

Li Hou nodded firmly.

"I don't believe. I know. I have seen the distance, between you and I. And the King stands further beyond you than that."

Li Xun was not a man who frequently admitted he was wrong. Many would say this was because he was a proud and self-righteous man who was unable to bend before others. He would say it was because he was rarely wrong, and others often expected him to disclaim his virtues as vice, and were surprised when he refused to do so.

"I have not treated you as well as I should have, Li Hou."

"No-" The foolish monkey began to interject.

"Please allow me to finish."

Li Hou scowled at him, but did as he was bid.

"I have had a great deal of time these last six months to reflect. Over the accident that left you bound in stone, and the fullness of our time together. I have not treated you as a master should. I have ignored your words, even as you proved yourself time and again more knowledgeable than I expected."

His mind flickered back to the gu even now ripening in his hidden workshop. It would need a name, this terrible weapon he'd forged himself to ensure he and his disciple were safe. Hopefully Li Hou's king would not object to its presence.

"I am strong now." Li Hou said mulishly. "You did that."

"A good outcome doesn't excuse poor choices. I took an unconscionable risk with you, in the aim of strengthening you. And for what? My own pride? I did not attempt to refine my own body until I'd studied alchemy for a decade, and reached the seventh stage of qi condensation. There was no good reason to push you so quickly. But that's not what has truly eaten at me."

"Hmm?"

"The wine. Your centipede wine. I'm certain now, that it is what caused you to transform into a statue. Though the mechanisms by which that occurred are still beyond me."

"I drank some. Before the bath." Orange-crest admitted easily. "Was stupid. Foolish. Used more qi than you said to. Thought it would be fine. Was wrong. Stupid. Should have told. Asked."

"It was. You should have." Li Xun agreed. "But that's not my mistake. A little spirit wine should have been fine. My directions were exact. Don't be drunk. You were not incorrect, that having a small sip was not a true violation of them. Do you see now, the real mistake I made?"

Li Hou thought about it. Gave the question the serious consideration it was due. Li Xun felt a surge of pride, despite the circumstances. That, more than anything, was what he'd sought to impart in his disciple. A respect for the endeavor of learning that so many of his peers lacked.

"No." The monkey eventually said.

"My mistake was underestimating you. Assuming there was nothing you could even have done, to interfere with the process of the bath. It seems to have worked out. But I gambled with your life because I did not respect your skills. Because I assumed my supervision could substitute for your full understanding of the process."

Orange-crest watched his brother carefully. He did not know what to say to that. It was a very human concern, an abstract and distant thing, compared to injury and wellness. But his brother was trying very hard to understand him, so he could not do anything less.

"You say your king is strong and benevolent enough to shelter us. I dismissed fleeing the sect as an option, before. But if he is, if we keep a low profile, there's no reason to subject you to the Initiate's Tournament. To risk your life for my pride. If you agree, we can leave the mountain tonight. I can't carry you as fast as I did when I first kidnapped you. You're heavier. I am weaker. But we could still reach your mountain before the dawn of the second day passes. Before the sect even realizes I am gone. I laid the seeds of a lie of infirmity today at the Medical Pavilion. Nobody will look in on me until at least a day passes."

Daoist Enduring Oath looked like he desperately wanted to say something. But he held his tongue.

Orange-crest wanted it. He wanted it badly. He enjoyed his life here. The two daoists. Yang Wei and formless-gleam. Even fat-buttocks and the other humans he only knew distantly. All the learning and mysteries. But his first, truest, family called to him. He could picture them now, how they might react to Daoist Enduring Oath's home. Fighting over wine and ripping open cabinets to see what rested behind them.

"You had a plan. For me to fight." Li Hou finally said.

"Yes."

"Is it a bad plan?"

"No. The idea remains solid. Workable. But it is unnecessary. There is no reason you should risk your life for my reputation."

Orange-crest did not understand his brother's plan. He knew it, but that was a different thing than understanding it. His brother assured him if certain things happened, others would follow. But orange-crest couldn't see the laws that created those certainties.

Why could the sect master seek to punish his brother if they left the sect, but not if orange-crest did something to offend the sect's guests? But the offense had to be given in a duel. By someone incontrovertibly stronger. And it wasn't the guests he would be directly offending, but their whole social class?

Who were apparently stronger than either his brother, or the sect's master. But for some reason they couldn't take vengeance?

It was all very silly. This was not how power worked. If the powerful wanted to do something, they did. You could distract them, beg them, bloody their noses, trick them, or run from them. But if they still wanted to eat you by the end of it, they would.

But his brother trusted him. And he trusted his brother.

And so orange-crest sat and thought as seriously as he ever had, about how to show him that.\

"Is that what you really want?" Li Hou eventually asked.

"No. But it is the right choice." Li Xun answered without hesitation. "I will not let the past blind me, or place my pride above either of our lives."

"But is it what you want?" Orange-crest repeated.

"What?"

"To be known as right." Orange-crest pressed. "As someone who knows medicine. As a good teacher, who taught a strong disciple. Is this important to you?"

"Yes." Li Xun admitted. "But it is something that I will have to earn by my own efforts. It is not a reputation I want you to risk yourself defending."

Orange-crest sighed.

He did not like the idea of a master. It was not a very monkey idea. Was big-butt his master? Red-eyes? The Monkey King? Quick-fingers? So many had taught him worthwhile things. But master wasn't just a title. It was a promise, like the title of brother. To guide and protect, teach and test. His brother had honored that promise. And orange-crest respected that.

"Foolish." Li Hou said, smiling. "Brothers don't ask if it's dangerous. It matters to you. So it matters to me. You have a plan. I have strength and skill. I'll fight them all. Defeat them all. Show them how strong I am. How good a teacher you are."

"They'll have techniques." His master warned. "More advanced spiritual cultivations. Even with your new strength, it'll be an uphill fight."

"This year isn't a soft crowd." Daoist Enduring Oath added, finally unable to resist adding his voice to the conversation. "All the noble disciples have at least made the fourth stage of qi condensation. Yang Wei and Xiao Long have reached the fifth, and Xiao Shulan doesn't look far behind. And they are far from alone. Half a dozen common born disciples have reached the fourth stage, and two recently entered seclusion to make their attempts at the fifth. Nobody has yet matched the sect master's record, let alone any of the older ones, but this is probably one of the most advanced initiate classes in recent memory. More than half of them are in the third stage, the elders are pleased to have such a crop of promising talents."

Orange-crest sighed again. Silly Enduring Oath. Bringing chance and fight-logic into a conversation about the bonds of brotherhood.

He was properly tipsy now, the art formless-gleam had taught him came easily. Orange-crest stood up, and he stayed seated.

His master gasped quietly, prompting a curious glance from Daoist Enduring Oath. But he didn't say anything. Orange-crest wasn't too surprised, that his master could see through his illusion. He was his master for a reason.

"They will try." The stationary orange-crest said, even as the heavy one circled, positioning himself behind Daoist Enduring Oath. "But my master told me to learn techniques. So I did."

"I think that's the first time I've ever heard you refer to Daoist Scouring Medicine as-"

Orange-crest leapt up on the daoist's back. He clapped a palm over each eye, even as he locked his legs around the top of the man's chest. He leaned backward, and turned to stone.

That would teach him to doubt the mighty orange-crest.

The world shook. A moment later, orange-crest reverted back to flesh. His face was embedded deep within the dirt. Oh. He'd thought he would fall the other way.

Gingerly, Daoist Enduring Oath stood up, bringing the monkey still locked on his head up with him. Orange-crest took his fingers off his eyes, letting him take in the orange-crest still seated, waving at him.

Slowly, it faded away, dispersing into golden dust.

"An animate illusion, in the third stage of qi condensation." Li Xun said breathlessly. "What sort of monster are you."

"A monkey." Orange-crest helpfully reminded his master. "That's why they'll lose."

He hopped off Daoist Enduring Oath's head. Hah. The daoist's face was covered in dirt too. He must have tried to keep his balance and overcompensated and fallen forward.

"I can see how that might break a disciple's back." Daoist Enduring Oath admitted. "But they'll be on guard for it, after the first time someone witnesses that trick."

Li Hou shrugged.

"Then I'll make new ones."

The monkey looked at the two men. Daoist Enduring Oath had made him a beautiful gourd. The most thoughtful gift orange-crest had ever received, with a monkey's coloring, and a man's belt. Even though he thought he might be dead. Daoist Scouring Medicine had suffered for him. Offered up his strength for faint hope.

That was worthy. And orange-crest would recognize it.

The monkey grabbed Han Jian's cup out of his hand. He filled it anew from the rapidly emptying gourd.

"Brother." He proclaimed, pressing it into the man's hand.

"Technically, I would be your martial uncle." Daoist Enduring Oath began.

"Brother." Orange-crest said. "Shut up."

He turned to Daoist Scouring Medicine. Li Xun. His brother. His master. The man who had introduced him to a world he could never have imagined. He gently pried the man's cup from his fingers. He filled it anew, from the dregs of the jar.

He had never seen a disciple acceptance ceremony, but he'd read enough about them from the many books his master had foisted upon him. They said a disciple should speak their true thoughts, in accordance with their nature. That was easy.

Orange-crest pressed his face back into the dirt, holding the filled cup out before him.

"Brother Li Xun. You saw this monkey could be more than he was. You gave him words, and secrets. You believed in what he could be. Believe now, that on your behalf, he can be victorious. Not because it is owed. But because they should all see you, as this monkey does."

Li Hou felt his brother take the cup from his outstretched hands. His head rose, meeting his master's eyes.

"I see you, master."