Published: October 27th 2024, 8:19:35 pm
Daoist Scouring Medicine allowed Li Hou the honor of knocking at Daoist Enduring Oath's door. The monkey rather enjoyed being allowed to bang pieces of metal against each other. Not that such a thing was necessary. The man's protections would have alerted him the moment they approached.
It was amusing, thirty years ago Daoist Scouring Medicine would never have come to see his friend this frequently. It would have been surpassing rude, to so frequently interrupt his cultivation. They'd spent years working closely together, on campaigns or expeditions. But then they'd return to the sect, spending years in closed cultivation without exchanging words. A common routine, among daoists.
Yet, these days neither of them cultivated much. The afternoon he'd just spent cycling qi to recover from his exertions had been the most he'd cultivated in months. One man all unable to progress, the other in doubt of his ability to survive his tribulation. What a sorry pair they made. But, despite their greatly increased free time these last few decades, he'd rarely seen his brother half as often as he had this last week. They'd thrown themselves into their crafts, focusing on steadily accumulating spirit stones selling lesser pills and treasures in bulk. Casting their hopes upon an auction, as if a heaven-defying treasure might allow them to do what their skills could not.
Daoist Enduring Oath opened his door.
"Big shiny!" Li Hou shouted in greeting.
"I have a name." The bemused daoist answered the monkey.
"I know! I gave it you!"
Daoist Enduring Oath snorted warmly.
"I suppose I could have a third name. I already have two, after all."
The monkey's brow furrowed.
"I have two names. You have more names than me."
"He is far older than you, Li Hou." Daoist Scouring Medicine cut in. "One tends to accumulate names as they age."
"Astounding." Daoist Enduring Oath said, staring down at Li Hou's bright eyes. "He's a completely different monkey."
"No. Same monkey." Orange-crest disagreed. "Different..." He trailed off, then tapped his head twice. Not hair, the other thing. They would know what he meant.
"He broke through to the second stage of qi condensation. I may have made some unwise promises as I encouraged his efforts. We're heading up to the Seventh Peak to celebrate, and perhaps introduce him to hangovers."
"Hangover?"
"You'll find out." Daoist Scouring Medicine answered with a wicked grin.
Orange-crest shivered. There was no malice in those eyes, yet still they promised suffering. Perhaps his brother's problem was not a lack of humor, but a wicked sense of it?
Daoist Scouring Medicine grabbed the small linen bag at his side, and shook it in front of his brother. Sloshing and clacking emanating from it. Orange-crest had struggled to believe his eyes, as his brother had somehow stuffed three jars of wine larger than a monkey into a sack not half the size of one.
"I suppose I have little better to do." Enduring Oath said, locking his door with a gesture. "I finished those vessels by the way, you can pick them up when we get back."
"I'll get you the pills next week. I've been introducing Li Hou to alchemy, it'll be good practice for him to help me with them."
"No more chop chop." Orange-crest insisted. "Enough chop-chop."
"Very well. No, as you put it, chop-chop. Also no sausage. Your diet is dominated by fruit and preserved meat anyway, a few days of congee would hardly do a growing monkey ill."
"Cruelty!" The monkey cried, throwing it's arms up dramatically. "Big-shiny, save good hungry monkey."
Daoist Enduring Oath stared down at the monkey clutching at his thigh. He considered himself a worldly man. He'd met no shortage of spirit beasts of many stripes. Tigers that threatened entire cities, canny ravens with eyes beyond counting. Even once a river dragon as eloquent as any man, wise and mighty enough to stand in judgement of mortal kings.
Yet he'd never seen a beast with a combination of such surpassing intelligence and lowly cultivation. Let alone one that had acquired it's grasp of language in a week. He wracked his memories, trying to find the least advanced spirit beast with the ability to fluently speak human language. It was probably that Golden Crow, but even it had been at the peak of foundation establishment.
"You really understood all that?" He asked. The beast met his eyes, a pleading expression on its face. It struggled valiantly to meet his gaze, but quickly crumbled. A sheepish look stole over it before it's head turned away to stare at his feet.
"Daoist Scouring Medicine bad-full of words. Use many when need few." It grumbled. "Medicine-man say no sausage. Bad two words. Yes-sausage."
Daoist Enduring Oath met his brother's eyes.
"That's almost more impressive than if it had fully understood you. Inferring context to such a degree suggests a remarkably developed theory of mind, something even more advanced spirit beasts struggle with. It's why so many of them are easily ensnared in human plots."
"Where did you even learn that word?" Daoist Scouring Medicine asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'm quite certain I haven't taught you the word cruelty yet."
"I have many secrets." The monkey replied smugly. Secrets. Such a good word. He'd learned it after pestering his brother about the thing where he moved his hands and caused things he was not touching to move. He was disappointed that his brother would not yet teach him the so called 'Phantom Palm', but knowing the word secret made up for it.
"It must have learned it from a disciple. I've given him enough leash that he's interacted with a few of them, and likely spent time spying on more."
"I have many secrets." Orange-crest repeated. Perhaps there was some merit to this language thing. Some sequences of words were simply delicious, falling off the tongue like a summer rain. The true tongue got the truth across far quicker, but the speech of man provided so many elegant ways to say something by saying nothing.
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In hindsight, Daoist Enduring Oath thought, introducing the monkey to 'Ups' had been a grave mistake.
It'd begun so innocently. He'd knocked back a few dozen saucers of plum wine, and his brother had fallen into yet another rant about how the sect had fallen so low daoists were little more moral than nobles or merchants these days. Enduring Oath had opinions on the subject, but no interest in encouraging or contradicting his brother. Either would be troublesome. Tongue loosened by fury, Scouring Medicine painted a number of images with his words. Daoist Enduring Oath had ignored the many crass ones, but one of the less puerile phrases had lodged in his mind.
He'd wondered just how far he could throw the monkey. That had been fine. It was an interesting question. But he'd made the critical mistake of musing upon it aloud.
And he'd gravely underestimated just how enthusiastic little Li Hou would be about having a core formation cultivator repeatedly throw him dozens of chi into the air.
The little monkey wasn't even drunk yet, thought not for lack of trying. Scouring Medicine had promised as much wine as it wanted, but to the beast's irritation he claimed he'd said nothing about the rate he would allow it to drink. That didn't stop it from attempting a variety of stratagems to sneak more wine, but against two powerful daoists, all it's schemes were doomed before they'd begun.
"Up! Up! More ups!" The mostly sober orange-crest chittered, clutching tightly to Daoist Enduring Oath's powerful forearm. Its feet were joined, resting in his palm. The monkey's hands held two of his fingers like reins, stabilizing it's balance as it leaned so far back it's furry ass nigh touched his forearm. It was an awkward position. Daoist Enduring Oath was forced to make the throw underhanded, because the alternative would be to launch the creature already inverted.
But that was fine. He had power to spare, once he finally got into motion.
"Don't break my monkey." Daoist Scouring Medicine said. The man was leaning back against a tree, staring at the pair with wry amusement.
"Break my monkey!" Li Hou disagreed. "Break! Break! Break!"
"Whether you break yourself is a matter of fate and talent." Daoist Enduring Oath grumbled. "I take no responsibility for your landing."
Daoist Enduring Oath held back a wince as he drew upon his cultivation. He forced his stagnant qi into motion, crushing the recalcitrant earth within him until it flowed like molten stone. And burned his meridians as much as such a thing should. Every time it was just a little harder, the price he paid, for his hubris. A dark part of his mind wondered if he would even make it to half the span of years a core formation cultivator should be able to expect.
Daoist Enduring Oath moved like a mountain come to live, ponderous and inexorable. His underhanded throw began slowly, almost gingerly. But with the suddenness of an landslide, he accelerated. A fragment of his qi settled around his projectile, lending it unnatural weight and durability.
"Weeeeeeeeee!" The monkey squealed, steadily vanishing into the distance. He'd thrown Li Hou fully thrice as far as any previous attempt. He should have something of a breather.
The man squinted. The monkey was still flying. Perhaps more than thrice as far. Still, it should be fine. His qi would protect him, and they had a tracking band on the little fellow.
Daoist Enduring Oath sat down next to his brother. Scouring Medicine had watched him closely through his exertion, but blessedly did not say anything about his obvious infirmity.
"How is his talent?" Enduring Oath asked instead.
"I haven't had him tested properly, but its nothing heaven-defying. I confirmed mixed elemental roots myself, and nothing about his actual cultivation seems to be abnormal. No indications of a rare physique or preexisting meridian development, or any form of inherited or connate core. It is in fortune and comprehension that heaven has blessed him."
"Comprehension? Even before his fortuitous encounters?"
"My methods have been several steps more refined than any beast tamer would subject a mortal monkey to, but I am quite certain he was never an ordinary example of his kind. Contrary to your earlier implications, I do in fact understand how normal monkeys are supposed to act. And he's nothing like them. Mischievous and impulsive, certainly. But his sheer drive to learn is utterly abnormal in his kind, rare even for men. Even after only the first pill, he had more focus than many of our initiates."
Daoist Enduring Oath took another long drink. It was good wine, but there were reasons he drank far less these days. He wondered how long it would take his slowly ossifying meridians to take the joy of a good cup of tea from him as well.
"You still plan then, to refine his body?"
"Yes."
"What if he doesn't want you to?"
"He will. Beyond that, he must."
"How so?"
"This isn't even a matter of my plans for him. You know I disdain those who hide behind unfalsifiable claims about karma. But I have set things into motion that cannot be averted. Even if I returned him to his mountain tonight, it is likely some daoist would hunt him down. A curiosity to be dissected, or a petty vengeance against me. I could declare him a failure and cast him out of the sect. Rely upon the vastness of the world to shelter him. But as he is now, he will struggle to live among either his kind or ours. He has neither the strength to protect himself, or the knowledge to hide what he is."
"Men are not kind to what they do not understand."
"No, Daoist Enduring Oath, they are not. But that is no reason to kowtow before their small minds. If Li Hou wishes to cast me aside when all this is done, so be it. But until then, I will forge him into what he must be to survive the path I have set him upon."
Daoist Scouring Medicine threw back his saucer and scowled.
"Now stop bringing up heavy subjects. This isn't that sort of drinking party. Unless you'd like to discuss how your back cracked like a mortal grandfather when you threw my monkey?"
As one, four eyes snapped up, staring down at the cliff beneath them. Where thunder crackled at the feet of white robes.
"You didn't." Daoist Scouring Medicine said with a tinge of actual anger.
"I didn't. He must have felt my qi when I threw Li Hou. You know he was always the best sensor among the three of us."
"Was." Daoist Scouring Medicine emphasized smugly.
Daoist Enduring Oath filed that boast away for later consideration. Daoist Scouring Medicine was not a humble man, but his bouts of bluster always had at least a kernel of truth to them, if not more.
"We can hear him out." He said instead. "For old time's sake, we owe him that much at least."
"He visited me a few days ago. After the incident at the Chang boy's class. As if such a small thing merited his attention. Tried to cite the rulebook at me. Me, the man who spent half his twenties keeping the fool out of the Punishment Hall."
The scowl returned to Daoist Scouring Medicine's face.
"You know what?" He continued. "Fine. We'll hear the bottom-feeding carp out. But he has to drink out of Li Hou's saucer."
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Orange-crest had no idea where he was. It was a fairly novel experience. After all, to get to a place, a monkey had to go there. Which meant one knew how they got there. Sure, sometimes you got a little turned around running from a tiger, or a great storm washed out your landmarks, or a wandering daoist kidnapped you and took you to a strange new mountain. But in general, a monkey rarely got lost.
But then, in general, a monkey rarely got to fly like a bird. While mildly drunk. And then slam into, and through, a dozen branches on the way down.
Orange-crest sniffed at his wrist. There was still a trace of it on him, the strange power that Daoist Enduring Oath had used to propel him beyond the limits of monkey-projectile. As it faded rapidly, he tried to memorize the feel of it. Heavy, like the deepness of earth his brother had helped him take within himself.
He'd yet to manage to command the fire within him as the daoists did, beyond his one success catching Brother Scouring Medicine. But if they could do it, why not him?
As the power faded, the monkey cast his eyes about the forest. No, there was no escaping the truth. He was lost. How embarrassing. His monkey-brothers would mock him mercilessly if they could see him now. And worst of all, the daoists had all the wine. He needed to find them before they drank it all!
There was nothing to do but pick a direction and hope he ran into them soon. Orange-crest took half a step, then paused, foot hovering just off the ground. That was an old orange-crest thought. Could he not do better now?
The monkey pondered, then decided. First, he climbed the tree that had so kindly broken his fall. Drunken hands were a little unsteady, but climbing trees was home-scent for him. From his spot in the first tree, he cast his eyes out for the next highest one in sight, and made his way over to it. He still couldn't see very far through the dense canopy.
If he kept finding taller trees though, eventually he would find the tallest. Climbing by numbers!
Three trees and a fair amount of retracing his jumps later, orange-crest found himself staring out at a sea of dark green. There was a coast in the distance, the steep drop where this section of the mountain fell away. The daoists were somewhere along it, but he'd underestimated how very wide it was.
Perhaps he would just have to pick the edge of it, and walk the whole thing?
Suddenly, a great bolt of lightning fell from clear sky, accompanied by the great pounding of thunder. Or rather, the bolt leapt up towards the sky? Spots flickered before the monkey's unprepared eyes, making it difficult to make out what exactly had happened.
He marked the location. Set his heading by the unmoving stars. That would be where the daoists were. His brother was much like the king in that way. Where there was strangeness and trouble, so too would there be him. It was much farther than he'd expected. Perhaps Daoist Enduring Oath stronger than he'd thought. Big-butt would have struggled to pitch a stone that far, much less a monkey.
Orange-crest started walking. As he did, the monkey pondered. Maybe, sometimes clever plans were overrated. Perhaps all one really needed to do was keep their eyes and ears open for strange thunder.
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It was a long walk. It'd been a great deal more fun to fly that distance than walk it. The way the wind had whistled through orange-crest's fur, stolen the wetness from his mouth and forced his eyes to squeeze into thin cracks. It was more exhilarating than any storm or gale,
Walking by comparison was rather less fun.
One day, orange-crest swore, he would fly wherever he wanted. He'd done it once. That meant it was possible. And if it was possible, he would do it.
That made three vows, now. A belt, a stick, and flying. What a figure he would cut with all three. Why, he would look like a tiny king! He could see the pair of them now, the king leaping between mountains in his tiger skin, orange-crest flying beside him with a pretty blue belt. All the females in their maiden-seasons would coo and chirp at him, and ask to play with his stick!
It was a silly dream. But those were one of the best kinds. One of the most important kinds to chase. Second only to a good practical food-dream, like having a pantry like his Daoist Scouring Medicine's.
"What is wrong with you!" The unfamiliar voice carried a great distance, raised in wrath. "Are you trying to get yourself killed, Brother Scouring Medicine?"
Finally! Scouring Medicine always criticized others. Well, always criticized orange-crest. It was probably good for him to get tongue-lashed in turn.
More importantly, that meant the wine was near! The monkey redoubled his pace, shifting from a lope to a proper gallop. Hopefully the new daoist would distract his brother enough orange-crest could claim what had been promised.
"You called him a frequenter of prostitutes in front of disciples! That's not even true! And true or not, you all but spit in Sect Master Ren's by face doing it in public. Your petty jealousy and crude speech shamed all the sect!"
His brother's answer was too quiet for orange-crest to hear at this distance.
"And? What does that matter?" The unfamiliar voice thundered. "Ren Yuhan has no enmity with you, but he'll crush you underfoot if you persist in this folly. You are in this position because you could not bend an inch, you will not improve it by compounding your inflexibility with slander."
"Daoist Guarding Thunder, I appreciate your concern for my well-being." Orange-crest was close now, just a few feet away. He could hear his brother's calm voice. "But it is the Sect Master's right to punish me for any rules I have willfully violated, just as it is my right to speak my mind before my fellows."
"Brother Scouring Medicine, this world does not run on rights and obligations. The emperor is distant and the patriarch deaf, laws are but the wills they lay down to help us live in harmony with each other. The Sect Master bends before the court, as we all bend before him. Because if we cannot bend, we will break each other."
"If the Dao does not bend, neither should the Daoist." His brother's tone was like the first winds of a harsh winter, a stark promise. "Out of respect for our long friendship, I will say this. Leave the matter alone. You will find only loss if you to involve yourself in it, however it ends."
Orange-crest rocketed into the clearing like a monkey thrown through the sky by a daoist. Six pairs of eyes turned to track him as he scrambled to bleed off momentum before crashing into anything.
"Welcome back, orange-hair." Daoist Enduring Oath rumbled.
"Ek." Orange-crest chirped. There, tension shattered. Violence averted. Who said you had to speak a language to make a statement?
"So, this is the beast?" Daoist Guarding Thunder asked, staring at the small monkey before him.
Orange-crest sized up the interloper. His robe had the sheen of the healthiest of hair, a brilliant cloud-white. The man smelled slightly of lightning-blasted-air. His expression was stern, though not hostile. His form might not radiate barely contained violence, but the power within the thin man's frame was evident even to the monkey's eyes.
He glanced up at his brother for a sign of how to proceed, but Scouring Medicine's face was a placid mask.
"Yes. Is beast." Orange-crest agreed amiably.
"It speaks?"
"It speaks!" Orange-crest echoed in mock surprise. All things spoke, men were just bad at listening. "Learn fast, learn good."
"Do not mock me."
Orange-crest did not mock him. Instead, the monkey ignored him, dragging over one of the unopened clay vessels.
"You stole my cup." He told the new daoist. "Big wine my cup now."
Daoist Guarding Thunder shot his saucer a look of disgust, then turned it upon Daoist Scouring Medicine.
"I'll allow it." Daoist Scouring Medicine said with a small smile.
"I see its manners are little better than yours, Daoist Scouring Medicine. I hope that deficiency will not lead it to similar troubles."
"Enough, brother." Daoist Enduring Oath said. "Your warning was delivered. This was to be a night of celebration for Li Hou's breakthrough. Let us speak of happier matters."
"Happy matters." Orange-crest agreed, tipping the jug backwards towards himself. He was disappointed to see that this jug was filled with rice wine, instead of a transparently superior fruit-based vintage. However, as he took a deep drag, the pleasant burning that slowly spread through his chest more than made up for this lack. He wondered why men insisted on eating and drinking so much of this rice-stuff. Perhaps it grew everywhere and required no effort at all to harvest?
"Very well, Brother Enduring Oath. Let it not be said I lack the same manners I chastise Scouring Medicine for. I can see I am unwanted here. I will refrain from imposing upon you further. Stand tall in the wind if you must, but know I will take no pleasure in watching you fall."
Daoist Guarding Thunder turned and extended a hand to the heavens, clear skies washed with the first hints of dusk's colors. A bolt of lightning leapt to his hand, shrouding his form in brilliant white light. Secondary tongues of lightning leapt from him, then froze in mid-motion, before flickering into life again. With a blinding flash, the man vanished.
"I want that." The stunned monkey muttered, rubbing his eyes. The spots wouldn't go away, so he took another long drink. His head was starting to swim now. That must be good exercise, for a head. Maybe that was why his head was always tired in the morning after he drunk wine, his body got tired after a good swim. Wine was a lake for the brain?
"Understandable." Daoist Scouring Medicine said. "It is one of his more useful talents. I believe its a sect manual, but it requires an affinity for lightning that you will probably need years to develop. Not to mention a great number of contribution points."
"Contribution points?" The drunk monkey asked.
Orange-crest sat back as his brother launched into an explanation of a system of barter and exchange more wrong-headed and convoluted than the monkey could have ever imagined. He took another deep drink. He needed it, to contemplate insane and wiggly thoughts like these.
Maybe if he drunk more, it would make sense.