Published: December 25th 2016, 11:47:06 pm
Wade Wilson, DEADPOOL
When I think about dating Deadpool I’m conflicted. In his on-screen relationship with Vanessa Carlyle, he’s extraordinarily passionate and committed, what Dr. Sternberg calls Fatuous Love. The sex is so, so hot and he seems devoted to sticking around. It’s missing something though and that’s where I’m put off by Wade/Deadpool -- the lack of vulnerability
When confronted with dying, Wade left his lover. Maybe to protect her from the torment of watching him die, maybe to selfishly preserve her perception of him. In my opinion, both are not cool! This action was controlling; he didn’t allow her the integrity to choose a response for herself. It’s also cruel; she’s left without any explanation regarding her best friend and true love. Finally, it’s pompous -- where does he get off thinking he knows what’s best for her?
Again, I’m really into the pre-cancer-diagnosis Wade Wilson who knows how to please a woman sexually and romantically. But the one who abandons his partner and goes rogue jerk, not my guy. I also don’t want to date someone so vengeful or violent, or even have hate sex with him.
Others have a different take, that he’d be a fun one to peg or a good sub to sadism, but to me those acts are still about connection. I at the very least want to like a person I’m playing with and I don’t like him. As a character he’s entertaining but a as person to spend quality time with, nope, nuh unh, no.
Date-ability: 0/10
Jennifer Walters, SHE-HULK
From what I know of She-Hulk, she’s a very sophisticated person. She believes in upholding the laws while ensuring criminals receive proper defense. She makes big ol’ messes to battle personal and world demons, then volunteers to clean up the debris. She fights and fights and fights all the while maintaining a sense of humor and confidence.
I’m drawn to her wicked smart brain and good citizenship. Physically not so much but I think we’d still try to date. Me being the seeker, her the sought. I’d make an aphrodisiac-laden dinner and ask to curl up on the couch in thick blankets to watch Grace & Frankie. Hopefully she’d make a move to reciprocate desire by rubbing my feet or hands. Then if we we’re both into it we’d play. Hard and fast. Protection. Communication. Lots of making out.
I don’t know that anything long-term would come of it but I imagine a few months of enjoyable hooking up.
I think about her beginnings, a blood transfusion from her cousin Dr. Banner and the physical changes that ensued. How she’s struggled with which version of herself to preserve, the courage it takes to be a green amazon in our culture, and the gifts she has both natural and mutated used for good.
SheHulk is the kind of partner I’d stay FaceBook friends with, hoping we could hit it off someday. I’d have to regularly remind myself not to call her because, well, she likes men and she’s known for her freedom and independence. But every so often I’d check-in and tell her I’m impressed by her doings.
Kiss and tell: only if she was okay with it.
Date-ability: 7/10