Published: January 28th 2021, 10:22:59 pm
Hola from Baja,
I have Covid.
I’m not sure how. The people I spend any unmasked time around all tested negative. As you probably already know, the virus is baffling.
Anyway symptoms started last Tuesday. I thought they were allergies. Then I thought it was a cold from walking around in flipflops in the rain all day. I went to get tested on Wednesday to be safe. Symptoms were gone by Thursday. The test came back positive on Saturday.
When I first got the results I was sitting down to do an eight hour Zoom conference with a book writing team. Every minute was scheduled so I was setting my phone aside to get focused. I saw my roommate (Santi from the video) had sent my results. They were in Spanish. I couldn’t tell what was what. The Zoom call started. I muted myself and screamed to the other room, “what do they say?” At which point he replied, “positive.”
I explained immediately to everyone on the call. I needed thirty minutes to do a track and trace, let anyone I could have exposed know, and situate those closest to me with a testing plan. Everyone was really great. No one made me feel guilty, dirty, or bad. They all just made sure I had what I needed for the day, told me how much they care about me, and went to get tested themselves. I love my people.
I logged back into the Zoom conference but what I really wanted to do was tell everyone on Facebook and other social media I have Covid. It felt like being an antelope that had been running from a predator for a year. I was in its mouth being masticated, but hell, if I wasn’t going to share my experience with the other antelopes hoping to spare them. Two people asked me not to disclose my status yet. They had very good reasons and I loosely believe that nothing important is ever urgent.
Eight hours later the conference call ended and with it came a rush of emotions. I’d been thinking about how much sexually transmitted infection prevention and covid overlap. How knowing one’s status actually reduces transmission rates. How condoms like masks allow us to be active but aren’t guaranteed. How important it is to negotiate relationships and body fluids and boundaries. How removing the shame from infections increases wellness. And how people don’t get tested because there are barriers of cost, time, reputation, and responsibility.
I realized that as an independent, financially stable, secure woman who makes her own schedule I had incredible resources of time, money, and position to actually get a test. Most people who have written it off as a cold because taking time to get tested and wait for the results and potentially have to quarantine longer if they were negative would do harm. Here testing costs money. Not a lot but more than most people make in an entire day of work. That and I had to drive to another city (gas, time, time-off, scheduling, a reliable vehicle), wait in line, and drive home.
Imagine if I were trying to get an abortion in the American South!?
This is all to say. I didn’t post my Covid status on facetumbwitter. If you think I should, I happily will. I think visibility is important. At least you know. I think wayyyy more people have it than we realize and they don’t know or they don’t tell others. You can tell others I have it. You can remind yourselves there is someone you know who got it, felt like a partially masticated antelope, is on the mend, and very grateful to not be in a bodybag.
In other news, I’m fostering 11 puppies and their mama. I cuddle them a few times a day to get my touch fix. I’ll do a puppy livestream if the weather permits. Right now I’m in a recliner with Donna (my little white dog) curled up to my left. I’m taking good care of myself. Lots of fluids. Lots of rest. Working out some episodes. Very excited about all your topic suggestions. Writing a book.
Staying curious,
L