Published: June 5th 2018, 5:07:30 am
1. Avoid mirroring, or at least what I mean by mirroring. We have a tendency as cognitive beings to think that if we touch someone softly, they'll touch us softly back. But if they don't like soft touch and they're under the same impression -- they may touch us with a harder touch to try and get us to mirror /them/. It's a silly cycle and in the end nobody is getting what they want and sometimes people get hurt. Tip: remember that this is a thing and either mirror what the person wants and or communicate verbally what you're confused about.
2. Avoid ejaculating in the anus. The rectum is designed to push whatever is in it out and that semen will come out. Sometimes it's like a little alien pod of fecal matter and jizz, not bad, other times though it can feel like food poisoning and go on for hours taking it's sweet time to clear your system and giving little to no warning when it does.
3. Try watching each episode of Sexplanations twice. I know this is more of your time that I'm asking for but every sentence is so carefully curated and you'll pick up on the nuances of what I'm saying and how I'm saying it more. I don't know why the episodes seem so fast. I try to talk much slower and Maia cuts less tight than editors in the past (I think). It's just jam-packed. To get the best experience, watch twice.
4. Have sex in bed with your heads at the foot of the bed rather than the head of the bed.
5. Spend a little time thinking about what it would be like if you hosted a sex party at your home. I'm not suggesting that you have one or that having one will improve your sex life. I'm just offering the tip of fantasizing about the coordination of a sexual event. I think doing this will help add some finesse to how each of us plan smaller events. For example, in my imagination I'd need lots of extra sets of sheets, food platters with aphrodisiacs, lube and protection with in arms reach of every surface, a nice playlist of sexy songs, and a cleaning service already booked to come before and after the event. My take-away from this exercise is to make an arousing meal and a sex song playlist for me and my partner.
6. Listen to the Sexplanations Podcast, or if you don't have time now that you're watching the YT Sexplanations twice through, then fast forward to the last few minutes when the guest and I give a homework assignment. We call it SEXtra Credit every week there's a new exercise to do, very similar to the sex tips I'm giving here.
7. Touch everything but the erectile tissue for a entire sexual episode. That means the clit, penis, perineum, and or the intersex erectile tissues.
8. Go to sexinfo101 and shop for new positions to try with your partner or in your sex fantasies. Pick at least four, memorize their names, try them out with clothes on and then try them without clothes.
9. Grab your partner's ass during sex. I don't mean slap or pinch or claw at it. Grab. Like hold on tight and hug their butt with your hands.
10. Write a love letter. It doesn't have to be to a partner. It could be to yourself or your car or your genitals. Just put into writing some of your positive emotions and practice expressing sentiments in writing. This will help with intent. Because you won't be trying to control what the recipient is hearing or is going to take away from it, you can freely say what you feeeeel. You're not expected to deliver it, by the way.
11. Post a sex question or sex problem in the comments of a Sexplanations YouTube video and learn how the audience crowd-sources solutions. You'll get all sorts of perspective and wisdom from people of many diverse walks of life.
12. Make a thoughtful decision about what and when to eat before your next sexcapade. What will be the most energizing? What will feel the best as you jostle around? What will help with endurance?
Okay, that's it for now. I hope you're having a lovely week and you like our video on Wednesday to celebrate 5 years of Sexplanations!