Published: June 26th 2023, 12:00:03 pm
The start of a new short story, commissioned by an anonymous Patron.
"Joseph, could you go get the door?" Elaine called from the bathroom, peeking her head out of the door when he didn't respond immediately, hands up to her ear, head tilted to one side, as she fastened a large gold hoop earring. "Joe?"
He shook his head, chuckled. "Right, right, sure," he said, sliding his phone into his pocket as inconspicuously as possible. "Sorry, my mind was... somewhere else."
"Somewhere else, huh?" Elaine smirked. "What were you looking at there?"
"Nothing," he lied, wincing as he heard how unconvincing the lie sounded. "Well, I was making sure that it was all right for us to be going out, and to have a babysitter in..."
Elaine rolled her eyes. "Do you really think I hadn't considered that? Yes, I'm desperate to get out of the house, but if I thought she was contagious, I wouldn't put other people at risk just for that... It isn't contagious, I promise."
"I know," he nodded. "I was double checking, that's all."
The second word of that phrase was accurate, anyway. He was checking something, though it was more checking out than double checking, and he wasn't particularly concerned about safety. "How old is this sitter again?" he asked, standing up from the edge of their bed. "You know, in case we decide to stay out extra late... Am I going to have to drive her home, or...?"
"She's eighteen," Elaine informed him, seeing through him instantly, eyes narrowing. "Almost half your age, Joseph."
He couldn't stop the warmth that spread through his cheeks at being caught, certain now she knew he'd been staring at his phone to see the feed from their video doorbell after the sitter had rung it, looking at her in her tiny, flouncy miniskirt and tank top that didn't quite reach her belly button, blonde hair in a pair of ponytails, and that he'd inquired about her age to know if he should feel guilty about the thoughts the image had brought into his head. "Not quite half," he told her defensively.
Elaine sighed. "Men are such pigs... She's a child, Joseph. She's barely graduated from high school. Not to mention that you're married and have a daughter."
"I wasn't going to do anything!" he held up his hands in surrender. "She's cute, that's all! Cute, like a little kitten or something, not beautiful like you." He walked over to her to give her a kiss to try to smooth things over, Elaine turning away at the last moment.
"Do you need me to go let her in?" she asked, glancing in the mirror. "We can't leave her standing there all night, but if you don't think you can control yourself..."
"I didn't say that," he grumbled. "I'll handle it, you finish up in here." She gave him a skeptical look as he took his phone back out of his pocket, connecting to the doorbell again to use its speaker to announce, "Sorry about that! I'll be there in a second!"
"Okay!" he heard her answer back, seeing her wave in the camera feed. He walked downstairs and to the front door, taking a breath to calm himself before opening it up, seeing the babysitter in person finally.
"Hi," he smiled at her, shocked to discover that she was even cuter in person, skin glistening ever so slightly, probably with sweat, though it was hard to care too much about that. "I really do apologize, we were right in the middle..."
"No, no," she shook her head, ponytails bobbing at the motion. "I'm your babysitter, Anita. I know I'm a little early, but the AC in my car doesn't work, so I was happy just to get out and feel the breeze."
"Well, get in here, then," he chuckled, stepping aside to let her through the door. "Our air conditioner is in tip-top shape!"
She did as she was told, her smile widening as the cold air hit her, prompting her to give a big stretch, taking her all the way up onto her tiptoes. "Oh, that feels amazing!" she squealed, Joseph unable to keep himself from staring as her tank top rode up, exposing more of her flat stomach. She blushed, lowering herself back to the soles of her Converse, tugging at the hem of her shirt. "I-I hope you don't mind my outfit... I usually dress more professionally, but with as hot as its been, and no AC..."
"It's totally fine," he promised. "We're pretty easy going here. You could come in a bikini if you wanted to, and..." He stopped himself mid-sentence, seeing how uncomfortable she was, and imagining Elaine overhearing him tell her that. "I'm not saying you should," he clarified. "If you did, though, we wouldn't mind... We wouldn't get mad about it, I mean. And we do have a pool, so it isn't..." He shut himself up altogether, knowing he wasn't making things any better.
After a moment of awkward silence, the sitter spoke up with a, "Great," nodding. "So, anyway, you have one daughter, right?"
"Right, Kelli," he shook his head, reminding himself why she was actually here. "It should be a nice, easy night for you... She isn't feeling well, so she'll probably sleep pretty much the whole time. Elaine said we probably didn't even need a babysitter, but I told her we ought to support out local entrepreneurs."
The conversation had been the other way around, really, and meant more as a joke, as if their two year old could possibly be trusted on their own for an evening. Now, however, it was another part of that sentence that stuck with him, that made him almost giggle at his own choice of words as his eyes were inadvertently drawn to Anita's ample breasts beneath the thin fabric of her tank top. "We just want to give you all the, uh... support... you need..."
She scowled at him and his leering. "Is there anything else I need to know?" she asked him curtly.
"My number, maybe," he answered, almost automatically. "I know you have Elaine's, but, you know... In case there's an emergency and her battery dies... Or just to have."
She opened her mouth to say something, then seemingly thought better of it, crossing her arms. "Oh, don't worry... I have a feeling I'm going to know exactly how to get a hold of you tonight."
He knew he shouldn't do it, that he had already crossed the line of appropriateness... But he couldn't help himself. "Anything of mine you want to hold," he smirked, "you are more than welcome to."
To his surprise, her reaction was less disgusted than he'd anticipated, making him wonder if she was coming around, if perhaps he really did still have it. He'd always thought he didn't look bad for being in his thirties, and, sure, she was too young for him - and he was married - but it was a nice ego boost to not have her acting offended by him at the very least.
"We'll see about that," she said. Was she reciprocating, hitting on him in return? Elaine certainly wouldn't be happy about that, and he knew nothing was going to happen... It was a big step up from the way she'd been responding before, though, and he was glad to hear it.
He jumped as he heard the doorbell ring again, the phone in his pocket vibrating to notify him as well. "Who is that?" he pondered out loud, turning to try to see out the window on the door. "I'm not expecting..."
"Don't worry," Anita told him, patting him on the head in a strangely condescending way that he had to assume was her teasing him back, even if he didn't quite understand it. "I'll get it."
He started to nod without thinking about it, simply accepting it until he remembered that, as the owner of the house, and the adult here, he really ought to be the one to do it, especially since he was already standing right there. "No," he said. "I'll..."
It was too late, however, Anita opening up the door, revealing a man standing there, so tall that Joseph felt like he had to nearly crane his neck to see his face, so handsome that even Joseph couldn't deny his attractiveness, and feel a bit inadequate in comparison. "Hello, there!" Anita smiled at the stranger.
"Do... Do you know him?" Joseph asked, starting over again when he heard his voice crack, subconsciously starting to step behind Anita, keeping her between him and the other man. "We're pretty lenient, but I'm not sure about having your boyfriend over your first time babysitting here..."
"He's a precocious one, isn't he?" the man laughed, his voice sounding so much deeper than Joseph's.
"He is," Anita giggled back. "Joey, sweetie, this isn't my boyfriend... He must be your Mommy's."
Joseph frowned, so baffled he could barely even process what she'd said. "I don't... Huh? My Mommy... I-I mean, my mom..."
"There you are!" Elaine called out, trotting down the steps, straight over to the strange man, and, without a moment's hesitation, kissing him right on the lips.
"Hey!" Joseph's eyes widened. "What the heck..?!" He furrowed his brow, knowing that wasn't what he'd meant to say.
"Someone's jealous," the man chuckled again, Joseph squirming, hating that his only interaction with whoever this man was was him laughing at him, and then making out with his wife.
"I told you, Joey," Elaine rolled her eyes. "Mommy is going out on a date tonight... You're staying here and helping to look out for your baby sister, remember?"
"What?!" Joseph gasped. "No! We're s'posed to be...!"
"Let's see how you're doing," Elaine knelt down in front of him, reaching for his pants. He tried to step away, mind reeling with confusion, which just increased when he failed, glanced down to see her fingers close around the waistband of what ought to be the dress pants he was certain he'd put on a few minutes earlier. Now, somehow, they were a pair of shorts, his button-up shirt replaced by a t-shirt.
Neither of those was nearly as bad as what he felt under the shorts, however, the sudden realization that his boxers may also have changed, considering they seemed completely different against his skin, the legs much shorter, the rest far thicker, though not in a way that made him assume the legs had simply bunched up. No, this was something else entirely... Something familiar, even if he refused to accept it, whining and trying in vain to pull away from his wife's grip before she could tug his shorts down and expose to the babysitter, and the man who was supposedly about to take Elaine out on a date, a Pull-Up. And a wet one at that.
"I-I didn't..." he shook his head, sniffling. "I-I don't..."
Elaine sighed. "It's all right... That's why you're in them, honey. I just wish you'd let me know before now so I could get you changed. We're already running late, and now I have to..."
"I'll handle it," Anita interrupted.
"Are you sure?" Elaine asked. "I said you wouldn't have to worry about that for him until bedtime..."
"No, it's totally fine," Anita grinned. "You get going! Go on, Jojo, wave bye-bye to your Mommy and her boyfriend."
"No!" he protested, stumbling towards Elaine as she began to walk away from him, prompting Anita to take him by the hand, holding him there in the entryway, shorts around his ankles, soggy training pants on display.
"I'll see you in the morning!" Elaine promised him. "Night-night, Joey!"
"What is going on?!" he groaned, stomping his foot, feeling completely overwhelmed, not knowing what else to do.
"Well, sweetie," Anita informed him, turning him around to face her. "You were acting like a little boy with a crush... So now, you're going to be playing that part for the whole evening. Just a sweet, lovesick little boy who showed everyone how he can't even be trusted with Pull-Ups yet. So come on... Let's get you into a diaper, where you belong, Jojo."