Published: December 14th 2022, 1:00:13 pm
"Ugh!" Emily groaned, stomping her foot in frustration. You would think by now she would be used to it, would have found the trick, but it was still a gamble, each and every time. Maybe if she didn't tape her diapers up quite so tight, so she could slip them down... Though, then she was risking leaks, and that might almost be worse.
At least, normally it might. The dorm was one thing; there were more people around, technically, yet they were distributed a little more widely. Here, in the house they were renting for the summer, she was sharing a room with Kayla, who, thankfully, had insisted on it when the other girls had suggested switching it up, trying out something different from their usual living arrangements.
Emily still remembered how anxious she'd been, squirming from her place, seated on the floor, staring up at everyone else. The house wasn't designed to have so many people living in it, so the couch wasn't big enough for all of them at once, and she'd volunteered to sit there, not wanting to wind up squeezing in too tight next to one of Kayla's friends and having them notice her extra padding, or hear her crinkling. She hadn't thought about how humiliating it would be, feeling so tiny and helpless as she looked at them, like the little sister who couldn't be trusted on the furniture because she might have an accident, her eyes widening in fear as she heard the suggestion.
"It'll be fun!" Charli had said. "And a good test drive for next year, if we decide we want to room with someone else for the second half of college!"
Emily had forced herself to stay silent, to not whimper. The other girls were nice enough... Did she trust them enough to know her secret, however? To not tell everyone at their summer classes, or the school at large once the new semester started? Maybe she could avoid wearing them at night - she had been waking up wet pretty frequently, though she was confident that was only because she was wearing the diapers, and that her body would stop if it didn't feel the padding... probably - but Kayla would see if she didn't wear them during the day, whether they lived in the same room or not, and, with just one bathroom in the house, she knew it was almost impossible for her to spend a summer getting dressed with someone else in the room without them spotting her diaper.
"Yeah!" Lainey had jumped in. "We could even rotate, like, change up every week or two, and..."
That was even more horrifying! Emily could feel her diaper warming, her stomach churning, positive, by the end of the summer, everyone here would know, and that at least one wouldn't be able to resist blabbing about it.
Fortunately, Kayla had sensed her discomfort, or simply agreed that, with Emily's condition, it would be a bad idea. "I don't know," she'd spoken up. "It sounds all right, but that's a lot of moving around, don't you think? And we'd have to decide who went with who... It'll be easier to stick with what we know."
It had still been a nerve-wracking experience. The air conditioner worked, technically, though not well enough to make it comfortable during the day for anyone wearing too many clothes. Emily's bunny diapers were thin enough to fit under her shorts; that didn't mean they couldn't, at any moment, peek above the waistband, or out of the legholes, so she had to be on constant guard for that.
And there was no dumpster at the side of the building, the way there was at the dorm, for her to dump her used diapers into, just a single trash can in the garage that got very quickly filled up. More than once, she'd snuck out there to dispose of them to discover there was no room - and there was no way she was going to leave her trash bag of them perched on top - and had to scramble around, searching for a hiding spot in the garage to stash the bag until trash day came, and she could volunteer to take the can, and her extra bags, out to the curb, where she could claim someone else had put the diapers there if her housemates saw what was inside somehow, the stress often causing her to have an accident, requiring another change sooner than she would need it otherwise, complicating matters even further.
Of course, she couldn't complain too much, since she knew her diapers were probably taking up a good portion of the space in the trash can in the first place. She wasn't the only one who noticed, however. "How can we possibly make so much garbage?" Angel had whined one day. "We're in classes half the day! Why is it always full?"
It was surely her imagination making Emily believe everyone was staring at her, her paranoia... That didn't stop her from squirming, from staring down at the floor awkwardly, desperate to come up with an excuse, an explanation.
Yet again, Kayla came to her rescue. "It's a tiny trash can for six people. It's only natural."
"Maybe we should complain to the landlord," Shawna had suggested. "See if we can get a second one?"
"Yeah, great plan," Charli had rolled her eyes. "We'll go ahead and let them know we have two more people staying here than we said we would. I bet they'll love that."
So, they'd agreed, since it was just a few more weeks, they'd deal with it. Things weren't perfect, but Emily was doing all right, and she was starting to think she was going to survive, and come out relatively unscathed.
To her annoyance, however, she still hadn't learned the trick to getting her diapers off cleanly when she needed to poop. Half the time, at least one tape would stick to the plastic, and that was all it took to ruin it, to make her diaper impossible to put back on without adding some extra tape of her own, which she wasn't going to carry around for that purpose. It didn't feel like a huge loss, considering that, by the time she went to use the bathroom, her diapers were almost always soggy, but they could usually have held a bit more, and it was awkward getting from the bathroom to her room with a partially busted diaper under her shorts.
To say nothing of when it happened at school. Luckily, that was a rare occurrence, and she, of course, always had spares in her backpack. If she ran out, though, and had to poop before she got back to the house... She shuddered at the thought.
For now, all she had to do was get to her room to put on a new diaper. That wasn't so bad... She sat down and did her business, so used, by then, to only using the toilet for pooping that she didn't think to do anything else, wiping herself off and arranging her diaper as best she could under her shorts as she prepared to go out.
"Hey, is everything okay?" Lainey asked, as soon as the door opened. "I heard you banging around in there, and you sounded upset, and I wanted to..."
Emily followed her eyes downwards, seeing, from the look on her face, what was going on before she even felt it, before she noticed the wetness spreading through her shorts, starting to dribble down her thighs. She hadn't known anyone was standing there, and she hadn't been able to help it. Her diaper had already been damp, although, when it was only half fastened, it hardly mattered.
Her face flushed, trying her best to stop it, to no avail. It was mortifying to begin with, but having it happen here, when she should have just gotten done using the bathroom, amplified the humiliation even further. She was frozen, wishing the floor would open up and swallow her, and the puddle she could feel starting to form beneath her, for far too long before she did the only thing she could, and ducked back into the bathroom, slamming the door so she could sit back down on the toilet and feel sorry for herself.
She was positive, when she heard the gentle knock on the door, that it would be Lainey, that she was going to make fun of her, tell her all about how everyone at the house knew now, and soon the whole school would, too. Or maybe it was one of the other girls, and there was now no way she could get out without them seeing her soaked shorts, if they hadn't already stepped in her puddle. Or was there?
"I-I'm taking a shower!" she called. Maybe that would work... She could clean herself up, then have a reason to be walking through the house in only a towel... How was she going to get her shorts and diaper out, though? If she wore them under the towel, it would defeat the whole purpose of the shower, not to mention get her towel all dirty...
"It's all right, Emily," Kayla told her from the other side of the door. "Open up."
Despite all the trust she'd earned in their year living together, Emily still worried she'd see all the other four girls from the house there, too, ready to laugh at her, then felt guilty when, of course, that didn't happen. It was just Kayla, with a fresh pair of shorts, clean diaper tucked away inside them, out of view for anyone who saw her carrying it.
"H-How did you...?" Emily blinked up at her.
"Lainey told me," Kayla said apologetically, seeing Emily's face fall. "She isn't going to tell anyone else... She even went ahead and cleaned up your little mess for you. It's fine."
Emily nibbled her lip. "A-Are you sure?"
"I'm sure," Kayla smiled. "Go on and take that shower, sweetie."
"O-Okay," Emily nodded, taking her change of clothing and obediently disrobing to wash up. She didn't love having someone else in on the secret, but as long as she followed through on not gossiping about it, it wouldn't be so bad...
It was, however, the final straw. It might have pushed her into confessing her lie, or claiming she was making a sudden, miraculous recovery. Instead, as nice as she'd felt, having Kayla come look after her, and comfort her, she decided to take the opposite approach.
They were all watching a movie together when the urge hit, and Emily excused herself. "Do you want us to pause it?" Charli offered.
"No, thanks," Emily shook her head. "I just remembered, I need to go... check on something, and it might be a minute."
Was this more inconvenient? It would be, if she could trust everything with the alternative to go smoothly, but she knew she couldn't count on that... And, if she was being truthful, she was curious about this anyway, had been from before she'd ever bought her first diapers, and spending so long wearing them all the time, not quite able to work up the courage to do it, had only made her curiosity grow.
So, for the first time, she scurried to her room and closed the door, stepping behind the bed, as if that would hide her if anyone came in, and squatted down, face growing red as she softly grunted and groaned and pushed, letting out a tiny gasp when she felt it start to work, when the warm, mushy mass began to ooze out into the seat of her diaper. If she just took her diapers off to change them, she'd never have to worry about whether the plastic ripped when she did so or not...
It did make her feel very naughty, very infantile. Wetting herself was one thing, but messing? That was something else entirely, something so much more immature, intentional... Or it felt that way, at least, after growing so used to casually peeing her pants. She couldn't say that she minded it, though, that she disliked the feeling...
She knew, deep down, that it wasn't true, that, perhaps beyond an extra lumpiness in the back of her shorts that might have been her imagination, there was no sign of it on the outside, yet, when she looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help thinking she looked younger, definitely not at all like the college student - weeks away from being a sophomore - she actually was.
She was unable to resist reaching behind herself, giving the squishy mass a pat, giggling as she felt it squelch, marveling at how big it was. Maybe it really was obvious through her shorts after all, though surely it would just be people with younger siblings, or who had babysat, who would even know to look. "I'm such a baby," she giggled happily. Only babies used their diapers for everything... But it had been so much easier, so much less stressful... And, honestly, so fun... If she was going to be wearing her diapers anyway, why not use them fully? And if that made her a baby, well, so be it.