Published: April 24th 2024, 8:47:40 pm
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▶ Original Upload Date: January 26th, 2023
door opens and closes
zippo opens takes a drag blows smoke Evening Commissioner. I assume you’re here to play the bad cop? I hope I wasn’t too hard on your new recruit haha. I guess you didn’t train that puppy properly. They weren’t big and strong like you are. Now tell me, what exactly is your plan of action? We are in fact in a government office and last I checked, you work for them and you always obey the laws. Awww just like the good little corporate slave puppy you are. smack sfx grunt Hahaha that’s better. Although even after 240 years, you still hit like a…bitch…haha. Has sitting behind a desk made you soft? What happened to you? We used to own this city! But then you decide to run off and get married like a little beta. Big bad wolf collared and turned into a puppy walking with their tail in between their legs. I hope you actually do have a plan because I have a plan to see your partner looking good in all black if you get my drift hahaha punch sfx harder grunt Haha there we go, although next time, can you actually hit me and not ask your grandma to do it for you? Alright takes a drag and blows Let's get down to business to defeat the dumb! What do you want to know? [brief pause] Haha that old building?! You think I would work with Don Xavier in that crappy old building. The building is as stable as your son…I mean your best friend’s son…after finding the sugar bag. Besides, I DO drugs, I don’t deal drugs. If I want money, I get it the old fashioned way, by taking it from the greedy billionaire humans. Also also, you think I would work with Don Xavier when I could be making three times as much with Don Lucifero? I could make more in a night by having your friends with benefits pay me to take them to cloud 9 haha punch sfx grunts [heavy breathing for brief pause] Haha alright alright, I’ll let the baby have their bottle. If you must know what I was doing, I was actually talking with one of your boys. They too made the same stupid accusation that I was trying to move in on Werewolf territory. Turns out, he secretly works for some elder Lycan who hasn’t been heard from in a long while, so much so that he’s practically a ghost. I think his name is Dante and he’s a guardian of sorts. But that’s all it is. So…takes a drag and exhales, what’s next? That’s an awfully big nilla envelope you got there, you trying to compensate for something? [brief pause] Hahaha, excellent. So, a few humans go missing and suddenly there’s three new reports of Vampire attacks? And you think that I have something to do with it? What?! Do you think I'm some dog that has to sink my teeth into everything with a heartbeat and make them go insane? Haha what am I, your mother driving all her husbands to manually respawn? Hahah smacks sound effect oof Hahah. spits
Look, you think I’m the only Vampire in this city? And let’s say I was, why would I turn the humans just to attack other humans and not, I don’t know, hide all your Kibbles and Bits haha hard smack GRUNT GET OFF OF ME! GET YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF ME! [grunts for brief pause] Look! I already told you once already! I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I would never work for Don Xavier nor am I responsible for the recent Vampire attacks. Maybe if you spent less time dragging your ass, and did some actual police work, you would know that I’m acting as a double agent. Now get your gross walking on the street paws off my head! [grunting for brief pause] Yeah, and you’re going to be making your toupees out of your mom’s chest hair! Look, fine! If you want to know so badly I’ll tell you! Yes…it is true, that outfit does make you look fat punch sfx Grrrr you gonna have to cut that out! Fine, for real this time, now loosen your paws off my head! If you want to know what’s going on, go by the docks by Pier 76. The same one where you lost your virginity to your cousin. Grrr go straight until you see the tunnels with the police tape. Before you enter, there’s going to be a woman that looks homeless, kinda like your sister. She’ll ask you what the date is. Tell her the time instead. [brief pause] It’s not as stupid as your choice to wear summer colors in the winter. I didn’t make the rules. Anyways get past her and keep walking until you see fire pits. The same ones you’d see the humans roasting that fake synthetic meat on. Deeno should be there, talk to him, but don’t tell him I sent you. Now I done told you everything, now get your dirty paws off me lowly dog! [grunting for brief pause] Ahh…Thank you! takes a drag and exhales
Now go, best be on your way. I’ll probably just sit here and wait for some other rookies to try and take me to a private cell. But before you leave coughing then spits Can I ask you a question? When you inevitably fail takes a drag and exhales Can I use your fur as a rug to go into my LIVING room? Hahahaha. Cheerio little puppy! Hahaha
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