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"My Journey Through Life: Childhood" Part 5

Published: February 14th 2025, 5:00:11 pm

When I was 13-14 years old, I developed a strange hobby—climbing old abandoned high-rises in my city. (Back then, I hadn’t been to the mountains yet and didn’t know that hiking in the mountains could be an alternative to climbing buildings! 😂) Of course, we did a lot of dangerous things, and to be honest, I’m still surprised that none of us got seriously hurt. 😅 We would jump across elevator shafts on the 12th floor, and now, just thinking about it gives me chills. 🙈 But at that time, it was a common hobby among teenagers, so we didn’t see it as dangerous at all.

Then, I met a girl who later became my best friend. She didn’t have the best influence on me, but we both shared a love for photography, so we instantly clicked and spent all our time taking pictures of each other. However, she already struggled with body image issues at just 13 years old. Even though she was very skinny, she didn’t see herself that way. Of course, I quickly absorbed that mindset from her. This led to serious insecurities about my own body, which unfortunately stayed with me for many, many years. It got so bad that I stopped swimming with other kids—I was ashamed of my scar, I thought it was ugly, and I was insecure about my body. Even though I was popular among guys who told me I was beautiful, my self-esteem was so deep in the gutter that it didn’t help at all. But I did my best to hide it well 😅🤣 I came up with tons of excuses for why I wasn’t swimming with everyone else. By the way, later on, I only started swimming in one-piece swimsuits, never showing my scar.

You know when I bought my first bikini? Last year in Bali! In 2024 ! I even bought TWO bikinis!! 🎉

So We went to a summer camp in Crimea together, and there, we started fasting for weeks, drinking only juices. I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, and we even started taking weight-loss pills.

Look at the last photo in the carousel—I’m the one on the right. My legs look extremely thin because I lost a drastic amount of weight in just a couple of weeks at camp 😅

Then, one day, they found me nearly unconscious outside. They carried me inside, put me under an ice-cold shower, and forced me to eat again. The girls took away the weight-loss pills and flushed them down the toilet—I remember that scene so vividly for some reason.

After that, the camp counselors literally held our hands and walked us to the cafeteria, making sure we ate something before letting us leave.

The girls kept telling me that my friend was a bad influence and was making me insecure, but I refused to believe it.

And then, something happened that would affect my life for the next eight years. I was at summer house with my parents and brother. There was construction going on, and inside the house, there was a big metal staircase frame that was actually very dangerous to walk on. It had no railings—just the basic metal structure. By the way, after the incident with me, almost immediately, one night, my grandfather fell from the second floor on the same stairs and broke several ribs, miraculously not being killed 🙈 after that, the stairs were made with railings and wooden paneling 🤪

One day, I was carrying a plate of sandwiches upstairs for my brother when I accidentally stepped between the steps instead of on one. In an instant, I fell down. My right knee slammed into the very edge of a metal step with full force, and I was left hanging—half on the staircase, half dangling in the air. Remember how I said I never cried when I got injured as a kid? Well, I didn’t make a sound this time either, even though the pain was absolutely unbearable. I pulled myself up with my arms, slid down onto the concrete floor, and crawled to a stool, where I just sat, unable to even open my mouth from the pain.

After a while, my brother found me since he didn’t understand why I had disappeared.

Long story short, they took me to the hospital, and it turned out that my meniscus was torn, and there was a huge build-up of fluid in my knee from the injury. They put a splint on my leg, and I had to wear it for two months.

When we went back to the hospital, they removed the splint, but my knee had swollen even more. This time, they put a massive 15kg (33lb) cast on my entire leg—from my toes all the way up to my thigh. And it was awful. I was physically unable to lift my leg, and I could only move around the house with the help of old wooden crutches and my dad. Unfortunately, all the photos from that time are lost, but I still have a drawing I made of my foot in that cast.

I had to wear that horrible cast for several more months. My ribs were covered in bruises and wounds from the wooden crutches. Sometimes, my mom would take me outside to sit on a bench in the park or drive me around the city, but I could only fit in the car by lying down in the backseat. 😅

But you know what? Even then, I didn’t feel sad. My friends constantly visited me, brought me gifts and treats, so I never felt lonely. The real sadness hit when the doctors started saying that I needed a knee replacement surgery because, even after the cast was removed, I couldn’t put weight on my leg or walk.

So I continued using crutches for a long time. My mom completely refused to let them do surgery, and in the end, she made the right decision. I was only 14, and some doctors said that since I was still young, my meniscus might heal on its own!

And she was right! Eight years later, when I got another MRI, they told me my knee had fully healed. And funny enough, after hearing that, it stopped hurting altogether! 😅😂 Even though it had been in pain for all those years, and sometimes I limped badly, I think my body had just gotten used to sending pain signals to that knee. You know how that happens sometimes)

And during that same period… I met my first love.

P.S. no, it’s not him in the photos here, it’s my friend, who at that time was 6 years older than me, who wanted a relationship with me, but quickly realized that there would be no success and for the next 15 years we were close friends 🤣