Published: February 12th 2017, 4:54:41 pm
A: This is actually a hard question to answer, because it can encompass SO MUCH. The short answer is that it’s a job where you fulfill the fetish fantasies of your clients (within the bounds of what you’re comfortable doing and what is physically possible.) I’m a switch so, while I’m usually the domme, I will sometimes be the sub. I personally don’t do anything that a vanilla person would consider a sex act (hand job, blow job, penetrative sex) but there are some domme's who do. My other limits include pooping on people, any sort of bodily fluid getting on me, and any scene that revolves around the idea that a man dressing as a woman is degrading. Other people have different boundaries and that last one has cost me a lot of work but *shrug.*
Sessions for me usually revolve around some for of hitting the client or causing pain in some way (that’s usually my favorite) but also often involves role play, building erotic tension, or just servicing a particular fetish. It can be as simple as rubbing a sweater against a guy’s face while I play with his nipples to a very elaborate role play that involved costumes and set dressing (he even brought special lighting and a fog machine.) I only do activities I’ve been specifically trained to do but I’ve been taking kink classes for about 14 years so there aren’t a lot of things that I don’t have at least a working knowledge of.
As a sub, I’m pretty choosy about who I play with. I have some triggers around heavy BDSM and I certainly don’t want that stuff coming up in a professional setting so I stick to roleplay with some light spanking.
Q: What is your most important fairy tale or myth in your inner world?
A: I love this question!
Little Red Ridinghood has always been my favorite fairytale. I’ve always been fascinated with the idea that sexuality can be dangerous and consuming. I know that Perrault meant it to be a cautionary tale but, like most of the stories he published, the folk tale history of the stories was stronger than the narrative he tried to force them into. I think it’s very telling that Red is consumed but not destroyed and she is either saved by an older woman, or a nonthreatening man, or herself, depending on which version of the story you read/hear. I grew up with a version of the story where she holds onto her grandmother’s sewing scissors when she’s swallowed and she uses them to cut herself out of the wolf’s belly. I don’t know if my mom told me that version or we had a feminist fairytale book, or I just made it up when I was so young that forgot making it up. Bettelheim says that our own memory gives us the version of the fairytale that we need.
Also, this isn’t really a myth/fairytale but I am constantly drawn to the archetype of the star-crossed lovers. I love the Romeo and Juliet type of story where you see a relationship begin, blossom, degrade, and die. Especially when the seeds of a relationship’s destruction are there in the beginning but no one sees them till it’s too late. It’s a terrible model for relationships but it makes for great drama.