Published: October 17th 2019, 5:58:16 pm
Hello Friends and Patrons. Marianne here. I am writing to let you know that Martin has been readmitted into the hospital; we believe the medication he is on is not strong enough and need to find a new treatment plan. Unfortunately, this sort of stuff feels like throwing darts with your eyes closed. His previous medication worked well, but it was a chemotherapy drug and the length of time he could be on it was limited (2yrs), as it is a severe immunosuppressant and would make him lose consciousness, feel nauseated and weak, etc. We have also been using marijuana now that it is legal to help with inflammation. He's been in varying amounts of pain since his last week long stay in late August and making Dr's calls and visits have almost become a part time job (especially with provider shortages and lack of appointments), to say nothing of the mental tolls that come with your body literally betraying you and your partner, as is the base mechanism of immune disorders. We've been going to therapy 2x a week as well to try and keep our relationship stable thru all of this. We have been trying to throw together a thank you video for our Gofundme in September but we still haven't even managed to do that. When things are bad, Martin has excrutiating bathroom experiences at least once an hour. When things are really bad, he cannot sleep through the night without that sickness. And when it gets really really bad, it comes out both ends almost uncontrollably. On top of all of this, we are still trying to find a new home, as the one we purchased began to overflow with sewage the year after we had to spend $10000 on Air conditioning issues during weeks of summer with 118 degree heatwaves. This is not a home that Martin can get better in.
I wish I had something different to tell you. I wish this year were different. I wish we could do more than wake up and try to push through whatever weird, bizarre trials, feelings and pain that occur once we are conscious--and believe me, I am trying *so* hard to find meaning and purpose to push through what is happening.
This Patreon has been a severe source of guilt for us, as we have produced so little this year despite our best efforts to arrange our lives so we could prioritize content creation. But it has also been such a relieving source of stability. If we had these problems just a few years ago when we had to focus on conventions for income, I dont know if we could have made it through this. I really dont. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you guys for the help and love you have given, and I am trying to feel that instead of the guilt in moments where I feel like we are not living up to our audience's expectations. You are all so understanding and full of compassion. It makes it difficult to feel we deserve it, but we love and appreciate it. I am trying to focus on the positive.
I'm so sorry I dont have more to give than information. And I'm sorry for more bad news. I hope you all manage to get through the week. Hopefully better news will emerge soon.