Published: December 11th 2024, 10:52:58 am
I'm quite tired today although we barely did anything. Probably because the rats woke me up last night at like 3am because they were making so much noise. Fun Fact: I actually like rats. They are smart, and quite cute. Just not when they wake me up. But I guess they also didn't wanna be outside in the rain.
Its weird having internet almost constantly again. I immediately notice how my stress levels go up when I do. My mind starts spinning... "I gotta check my emails, post, respond to messages, oh and I haven't called my friends in a long time I should do that,..". It affects my sleep, my mood, everything. I really have to be cautious using it. Someone once told me: treat social media like a mine field. Get on it to create and then leave it again immediately.
One thing I have realised when traveling is how different a place can actually affect your mood and happiness. How you feel mentally and physically. Probably also goes along with which lifestyle a place offers and what suits you well. I have been traveling a tad bit too fast the past month for my taste, it stopped allowing me to have some slower mornings waking up dancing, or practicing my handstands regularly. Its something I also have to be heavily cautious when going back home to visit fam and friends: I tend to overload my schedule more than I can actually enjoy. So I started implementing this rule to only see one friend/person a day, but sometimes I only visit for so short and I kinda have to meet multiple people at once. Its all my FAVORITE people ever, but also I end up booking up all the me time as well. This fall I have managed quite well tho. I packed a bit earlier, made sure I had all the gear ready for my next trip that I needed, and saw friends spaciously. But out of all the 365 days this year... I traveled for 305 days. Thats a long ass time. So I am also REALLY excited to see my friends again. In general, I'm sooo excited for going home. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near the point I don't enjoy my current trip anymore, but the feeling of your OWN cozy bed, a hot shower, food you REALLLYYY enjoy, or getting to dress up again after months of being on the road is unmatched. I will actually surprise my dad for his borthday this year so that should be cute. The past years, I've missed it since I have still been on my trips, but this year I'm making it. Awhh he will be so happy. My parents support my travels (and when I'm saying that I don't mean financially before I get a hundred comments saying "trust fund baby", I mean mentally), but they also love seeing me home again. People ask me all the time "How did your parents react to you going traveling" or "How did you convince your parents?". I maybe don't know how it works in other families, but as soon as I am 18 I become my own adult being able to make my own decisions. My parents can't forbid me to do something. They can disagree, but still choose to be part of my life. I mean, since I am funding all of this myself especially. At first, they were a bit sceptical towards me not going to college, but they always knew I'm not one to sit around so eventually they trusted and even though they probably didn't always understood what I was exactly doing, they recognized that it is working and that I am happy - isn't that all that matters? In the end, remember, it is your life. Of course it is more beautiful and ideal if your parents are able to see your dreams and passions fully and not project their fears onto you, but if they do, you have to ask yourself: will you allow that to change the course of your life? I wouldn't, personally. I know too much what I want and whom I am. My pursuit in myself is unstoppable. Regardless, I had faith that my parents would come around eventually, and they did. So maybe yours will too?:) Initially, I was feeling threatened by them expressing their concerns towards my lifestyle and I started sharing less with them, but actually the key was sharing MORE. Telling them about my adventures, why I love it, the people I meet and how they inspire me. Allowing them to have a little more insight into my life, at the end of the day to them I always will be that little girl they raised. They are just figuring life out themselves, they have not been parents always, its your dad's first time turning 50 and your mom's first time having a child move out. I guess what I wanna say is, in conclusion, developing an empathy for their emotions and feelings has helped us in our relationship, and the more vulnerable I became the more they were able to see me for ME.
Off to another topic, apparently the village I am in right now has a lot of back in the day cannibal tribes. If you were traveling here and they'd still eat human meat from time to time, would you try it? You might think thats an absurd question, but trust, some people would, to get the full traveling experience. I won't judge, just curious. Now, they don't do it anymore anyways, fyi.
We got invited to a wedding tomorrow which is super exciting. It will be the first of two weddings we will be experiencing in PNG. As a celebration, they will kill like 10 pigs. I don't technically disagree with humans eating meat, depending on how its done etc, but regardless wether I think its right or wrong, my heart will always ache seeing an animal die. I actually have never witnessed an animal, bigger than an insect, being killed in real life. And even that I couldn't watch. It just hurts me seeing them in pain. Usually, they don't die right away, but scream, or try to run. I think death is something that every person should confront themselves with at some point or the other. Especially if you are eating animals and being part of the reason why they die, again, I don't judge but I think it is one's responsibility to be aware of that. I have met too many people who don't want to realise that what they are eating used to be alive. Personally, I reached the stage where I'd rather kill an animal myself before eating it or not eating it at all. Otherwise it feels like I haven't given it enough respect and haven't confronted myself enough with the harsh reality of this process. Anyways, just sharing thoughts here, I'm constantly evolving my opinions in regards of this topic. Have you ever seen an animal being killed? How did it make you feel?
feel free to share whatever you feel like,
lots of love to you guys,
Leo