Published: December 1st 2024, 9:49:58 pm
Hi everyone, I just wanted to give you all an update on sort of how I'm doing and some updates/etc.
Life has had it's ups and downs, but I'm working harder on getting back on track, and hopefully people have noticed that I've been starting to post more audios again! I'm doing my best to set up a schedule that works the best for me along with working around my part time job.
Speaking on that, I will say that it's a retail job, and while I'm only working freight at a craft store, it's still the Holiday season, and I think I just got over the exhaustion of working Black Friday, so I might be a little more exhausted just due to that (I don't wanna talk about how many trees I hauled places lol). I'm trying to do well and find that work life balance, but you know, as a Neurodivergent person, it's difficult!
I know I've been relatively quiet on all social media fronts, including the Discord, and I apologize for that! I think in the wake of working on my mental health and also just life in America in general (stares at politics), I think I just kind of forgot how to be myself when it comes to posting online? Like, engaging and interacting with people and fans has been more difficult simply because I don't know what to say without thinking it sounds useless or banal? I sort of have the voice of "who cares?" When I try to post something that isn't about an audio, and maybe it has something to do with like.....maybe lack of engagement beyond reposts and likes—which I am extremely grateful for no mistake—it just feels like my sense of community is sort of whack? I found myself thinking "I don't know how to be a person anymore" several times and delete the post I was going to make, so it's been something I've been struggling with! I know people like me, but this little brain of mine inside has been mean on that front for a while, and I haven't had the spoons to so much more beyond posting my audios and a little bit of things here and there.
Despite this lol, I have made a Bluesky, because I'm thinking about moving away from Twitter. It's honestly become more of a hellscape, and with a certain billionaire introducing even more shit ass policies, I'm getting more and more done with going on there. Even though it's a pain to once again move platforms, I just can't in good conscience keep using Twitter for the long run, and Bluesky seems like a good alternative that actually explicitly allows NSFW content on it, which if you didn't know is incredibly hard to come by these days.
I've also been thinking about like.....the future of how I do audios here and on the rest of social media. I know I talked about before how I was getting burnt out and losing inspiration when it comes to Character audios and polls, and I'm still conflicted on it. I've made some audios recently that weren't based on any previously established characters, and I really liked making them! They allow me more freedom to write different kinks and scenarios, but I know that a lot of my audience followed me and support me (however that is) because I was making audios of a character that they liked, and I don't blame them!
I think I'm mostly looking at the longevity of me doing this as my job, if that makes sense. As much as I LOVE voicing some characters.....being a voice actor that makes audios of established Characters, sometimes I feel that I'm beholden to what's "popular" and feel like I need to make audios of the so called "character of the week" so my stuff gets seen, you know? If I were to shift focus more on "scenarios" and "kinks" rather than established characters I feel like I have more room to explore and grow. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time, but I'm honestly a little scared to move towards more "general" content rather than characters since I feel like I might lose a big chunk of my audience. It's not like I'm going to get rid of the old character audios or anything, but the pivot might be hard for some people.
I also would like to have my audience more involved in what's being made on Patreon specifically, as I have done in the past with character polls, and I feel like it will be easier and less restricting if I'm offering up scenarios and kinks rather than the characters themselves. I don't know if I'm making sense, but I wanted to kind of let you all know what's going on in my mind right now! If any of you have any ideas or opinions on the matter, I'm honestly open to hearing them at this point, since I've been turning it around in my microwave brain for long enough I think lol.
All in all I'm still working towards my mental health and my life outside the internet, and I know I've made progress and I will continue to do so!
I just want to thank you all for your continued support, and also for your likes, your comments and shares and everything. I know I've been having a rough time for coming up on around a year and a half, but I'm getting back there, and I thank you for sticking around if you've been here a while, and thank you to those who are new as well!
I know I ramble a lot when I get the spoons and the chance to, so sorry about that, but thank you again, and I hope you all have a good Holiday season!