greys

Early Access! The Imposter Syndrome Video Commentary

Published: February 9th 2025, 3:44:07 pm

That's not actually the title but it's what it's catalogued as in my files so that's what I'm calling it here lol. I always struggle with titles and seriously if I could just get away with leaving everything as "Untitled" or some variation of "zxdfksjldfkjglaej", you know I would. But alas, that's not very conducive to search and stuff.

Anyhoo, how are you all doing? Hopefully not too terrible, and even if it is (especially if it is), know that you are not alone. I'm telling myself this right now, because I'll admit that it's been a rough week and a bit for me. As I was talking to my therapist a few days ago, I can recognize that I have urges to withdraw and self-isolate from people so that I can hide with my awful feelings in my dark little gutter. But I know that this actually doesn't help, and as much as I really just want to disappear right now like an injured cat, I am in fact not a cat so that won't be of any use to me lol.

At any rate, I honestly hadn't planned for it, but it seems this topic came just at the right time for all the deep emotions that have been playing up for me lately. Call it synchronicity or whatever, or maybe it's just my subconscious telling me that this is what I need to process right now. I can tell you though, shit is not easy. At all. I even had second thoughts about posting this video at all once I finished editing, just because I've been feeling so raw and vulnerable lately. But then, I remembered a meditation that I did ages ago that talks about the growth cycles of a lobster. I'll save the rambling about this for maybe a Mindful Moments post in the future because I really should do more of those, but essentially I'm trying to remind myself that my lobster-y self has to be soft and squishy and vulnerable for a period in order to grow a new shell.

tl;dr I'm a 🦞, not a 🐈. 🙃

Well, that was a hell of a tangent just to say, here's a brand new video, a few days early for you lovely Shining Stars. ✨ (Speaking of which, if you pay close attention, you might notice a couple fancy special effects I learned in the video editing software!)