goodbadcomics

Nowadays 🌾

Published: April 22nd 2024, 6:39:03 pm

Hello!

Hello.

I haven't written to you in a long long time. I feel like I've said that before. and before. I've been doing so much and not so much at once. It can be very weird and numbing. I cannot allow myself to feel excited about things, the future seems dark and I feel like everything that helps me get by, will be taken from me because I haven't been making comix or making anything for that matter.

But I recently was made to realize that I have been doing things. It's just not the things I consider as "things". I haven't grown money-wise in the past year. If anything, it's worse now. I also feel like I haven't been able to grow in my practice. I just don't feel like a person. I hate it, I have loving, caring people in my life but I just don't get why they choose to love and care about me.

Ok anyway haha. I wanted to let you know (hopefully in short) what's been happening in my life:

1. I have moved out of my parents' place (finally!) - I rented a flat with a friend. She wanted to move to Pune after living in Bombay for 11.5 years. She has 11.5 years of experience living independently and I have zero so it'll be interesting. I still haven't moved-moved. I moved all my work stuff and my chair. I shuttle between my parents' and the new house. I want to ease into it. My parents aren't super pleased with this decision so it's a bit awkward at times. Living with another person scares me sometimes, I'm pretty much a loner and like my space/corners. My flatmate is more extroverted than me. I'm terrified of her expectations of me etc etc but we kinda had a talk about expectations from each other which I'm not fully satisfied with but it's a start. But she's a kind person.

Also, Maau is at my parents' place until we get the new place fully catproofed. My flatmate also has a cat but she's smart/dumb so she doesn't jump off the balcony/windows. Maau definitely would. Also, Maau is a boy and Sabu (my flatmate's cat) is a girl, I'm a bit nervous about that although they're both spayed/neutered. Last time I was babysitting another friend's girl cat, Maau humped her every day. Let's see.

I'm also stressed about my rent. I've never paid rent and I kinda just pushed myself into this. It all happened so fast, within 2 weeks, it was decided that I was moving. I didn't really prepare myself financially and I'm scared I'll go fully broke but I want to use this as an opportunity to be disciplined and consistent with my work and grow my patreon. Everything is so new!!!!

I want to collaborate more this year and make another book. Which brings me to my second update.

2. Shampoo and Daddy! the book- As I mentioned on the patrons instagram page, my old printer messed up all my books. It was an extremely frustrating experience but anyway, i've decided to just not talk about it anymore even though I lost a lot of money. I'm getting the book reprinted from a different vendor. Hopefully, the book will be out for sale next month. More on this later.

All in all, I've just been really stressed, unable to enjoy life, been feeling shitty about myself. It's been 4+ months but I still haven't gotten around to catching up on $7 & $10+ work. I feel guilty but somewhere inside, I'm holding onto some kindness towards myself. If I let go of that, I'll fully crumble. There are worse things happening in the world, feels like I can't help any of it but I'll start...re-start with myself.

I'll make rent, I'll sustain myself, I'll make good money with my work, I'll go outside the country, I'll make books, I'll eat well, I'll sleep well, I'll stay alive, I'll be my friend.

Once and twice and thrice again, thank you for being here.

❤

Aditi