Published: February 15th 2024, 6:00:02 am
Wind ruffles my hair as we tear down the dirt roads of Hyrule.
We are absolutely hauling ass, all things considered.
We have made surprising distance. In just one day we've already made it to the Dueling Peaks.
Instead of resting, Purah has decided that we are driving through the night.
We've covered about twice the distance Linkle and I did on a horse in around the same time. Glancing to the side, I can see Lizalfos swimming in the river.
They see us and try to chase us down, but Purah is going far too fast for them, so they are being left in the dust.
Luckily, I've got a bunch of stuff behind me, so even if they did try and snipe at us, they'd never shoot me in the back again... that was only, what, two weeks ago? Dear god it feels like months at this point.
We cross the wooden bridge with a loud rumble, now we are tearing up the path towards Kakariko Village.
"The only issue with us going back like this is that it'll probably be fairly easy to follow our tracks to Vah Sarin." I announce.
"That... is true." Purah relents. "Maybe I could get some sort of brush to hang behind us as we drive?"
She shakes her head. "Regardless, it doesn't matter. This is important enough for me to not care. If the Yiga clan follows us, we will just need to kill them."
"That's a bit of a tall order considering that Kohga has the Triforce of Magic. Something that sounds infinitely more useful in combat than the Triforce of Knowledge." Linkle adds in.
"Once more. Point." The woman relents. "I'll think of something."
"Why not put some bananas under a giant anvil? That'll probably kill at least a few Yiga before they wizen up." I suggest."
"The issue with that is that honestly it could kill innocent people." Purah denies.
"At a certain point, what's an innocent person doing in Vah Sarin's forest?" I shoot back.
She lets out a long sigh. "Didn't you say that you were going to see if you can discover leads to other divine beasts?"
"I was mainly waiting until we got back to the village so we'd have a second opinion in the form of Impa." I lazily shrug.
We fall into silence as we travel further and further, eventually we make it to the little canyon leading into Kakariko proper.
Purah abruptly turns off the engine.
Using our preserved speed, we coast along the slightly angled road, drifting further and further along until we eventually pass under a large gate.
The breaks squeak slightly as we slide to a halt.
We sit there in silence for a long moment, a sigh leaving Purah's lips as she gazes out over the village. "It... has been quite some time since I last returned here..."
"I... I didn't even return for my grand niece's birth... she probably has no idea that I even exist..." Purah mutters under her breath. "I'm a shitty aunt."
Linkle reaches over and places a hand upon her shoulder, giving her a reassuring pat. "You have had an incredibly important task to take care of... you were compiling knowledge in the case that I did lose my memories from the resurrection process. You've been making sure that when the time arrived I wouldn't just be hopelessly flailing around."
"It's likely that... you will probably never have an Aunt-Neice relationship... but that doesn't mean you can't try, Purah. You can still connect with her. It might be a little awkward to start with, but you have more than enough time to form a meaningful bond with your relative." I begin as I lift Linkle slowly and nudge her forwards off my lap.
She seems to get the message and begins to climb outside of the car as I join her.
Several men come to a stop outside the vehicle, pointing spears at it cautiously.
"Don't worry." Linkle calls out. "It's not a guardian."
She flops out of the car as I follow along, their guarded reactions seem to relax slightly upon seeing her.
"I see. Linkle. It is good that you have returned."
"We are here to see Impa. It's vitally important." Purah cuts in as she grabs the item wrapped with cloth in the passenger seat..
"Very well." The original man who spoke nods slowly.
We quickly make our way through the village, making our way up the stairs towards Impa's abode.
The little woman is already there, sat upon the numerous pillows, she looks up as we step inside, a small wry smile on her face.
A smile that immediately falls into utter shock.
"Purah?!" She whispers.
"Impa." The scientist replies with a slow nod.
"It has been quite some time." The elderly woman whispers.
"It has." Purah agrees.
"You look... remarkably well." Impa compliments.
"I figured out a way to reverse aging thanks to this." Purah admits as she raises her fist, there's a dull glow as the triforce of knowledge shines to life on the back of her hand. "I had already figured out how to flip my age, but when this appeared it streamlined the creation of a new rune to speed my age up to this point."
"That-" the grandmother gasps, eyes flicking towards me. "I see... I am glad that such a power is on our side this time."
"But. We may chat after the Calamity has been destroyed." She continues, shaking her head briefly. "I assume you have come, not to reconnect familially-"
At that, Purah cringes slightly.
"-But for something imperative to the defeat of the Calamity."
"I have." Purah slowly nods. "Over the past week, I have made numerous startling discoveries. The first, the existence of an additional twelve hidden divine beasts."
"Yes. I assumed that would cause you to get out of your lab." The old woman nods.
"But. That isn't important right now. Take a look at this." Purah demands as she walks forwards with the wrapped limb, offering it to the small woman.
Impa frowns, eyes flicking towards the black stains towards one side of the cloth. She carefully pulls the edge away from the concealed arm-
She flinches back, eyes widening with horror.
"This- this can't be!"
"It is." Purah grimly nods. "A Golden bokoblin. It was only killed because we were able to get the jump on it... and Linkle was able to hit it in the chest with an Ancient Arrow."
"She hit it with an ancient arrow?! In the chest?! But- the shoulder-"
"Is still mostly intact." Purah agrees. "Which is a testament to its sheer durability."
"Dear Hylia..." The older woman whispers. "This is- how long do you think it will take for others to appear. Moblins. Lizalfos. Lynels."
"I'm unsure." Purah sighs. "All I know, is that if one Bokoblin was able to become golden... what's stopping the other monsters of Hyrule."
"This... This bodes poorly." Impa whispers. "I... I will raise the standards to be expected of our Sheikah warriors. In addition, I will see if I can find any information about any other golden enemies... where did you find this one?"
"Aris Beach. In addition, the bokoblins are beginning to tame the Aerocuda." Purah answers.
"They are?!" The elder questions.
The older woman clasps her hands together, thinking deeply for a long moment. "I see."
"Perhaps we should move onto other topics... how has your search for the buried divine beasts been going?" She continues. "In the time you have been gone, I must admit that we have found nothing."
"Well, we have found Vah Sarin and have a theory as to the location of a second divine beast." Purah announces blandly.
"Y-You found Vah Sarin..." Impa whispers. "In a week?!"
"We know its location, but we haven't been able to approach it yet. We were in the process of going to its location when we found the golden bokoblin and I believed that was more important to inform you of this fact." Purah smirks casually. "Aurum here is quite useful when it comes to searching for knowledge of the unknown. As for Vah Sarin itself, it seems to be in a semi-active state. Its core ability seems to be manipulating plant life and it is lashing out at anything living that strays too close to it. Luckily, it's quite a bit out of the way, so it has not posed any true issues to Hyrule as of yet."
"And where is it?" Impa frowns.
"In a forest to the southwest of Lake Hylia." Purah answers.
"I see. There really isn't that much out there, nor was there anything out there one hundred years ago. I can see why it remained hidden even if it was partially active. It likely killed any who discovered it, and with the state of Hyrule... preparing for the calamity, with all these monsters beginning to appear, it's likely nobody noted their disappearances as anything unusual."
"Did you deal with those two Yiga guys who were apparently coming here?" Linkle questions suddenly.
"Yes, we did." Impa nods.
"Good, good. That's two less bastards we'll have to face in our day-to-day." The girl viciously smirks.
The older woman sitting before us frowns slightly, eye looking from Linkle to myself. "What is... those markings on your faces?"
""Mask of Unity."" Linkle and I both answer at the same time, my gaze flicks to Purah. "So, like, when are you going to de-age her?"
"I've got everything I need in my Sheikah Slate here." Purah announces.
"Please wait for a minute..." Impa. "De-Age? You plan to return me to my prime?"
"Yes." Purah nods slowly.
The old woman shuts her eyes for a long moment before eventually breaking her silence. "I have lived a long time. Watching tides of time claim friends, family, and even lovers... I am satisfied with my life... I've grown old, and soon, death will take me as well. Ordinarily, in any other situation, I would have refused to undergo such a transformation. I have lived my time and I lived it well. But. I will not just simply sit around, allowing Hyrule to fall merely because my old age has left me weary."
"Purah. Do to me what you have done to yourself." The woman orders.
"Oh, I planned to do it even if you didn't want me to." The scientist replies cheerily. "Originally the procedure was incredibly dangerous, so much so that I would never want to risk using it on someone else, but, thanks to this magic triangle, I have made considerable progress. Enough so that I am not worried about side effects any longer."
"Well, ah, you do that, I think I'm going to go sit down somewhere and see if I can figure out the location of Divine Beast number four. Purah, drop by in an hour. You'd probably know more about where it is than either Linkle or myself."
**Linebreak**
The door creaks open as Purah walks into the room followed shortly by Paya who is followed shortly by Paya-
I look at the woman my eyes had strayed over.
"Holy shit." I mutter while I continue to play.
My eyes flick back to Linkle. "When you thought that Paya was Impa, I honestly thought you were crazy... or delirious from sleep deprivation, but they look exactly the same. It's uncanny."
"SEE!" The blonde sat next to me exclaims. "I TOLD you!"
"Anyways." I continue. "I should be done in about... ah... a minute or so."
The now younger- and incredibly attractive- Impa looks over my instrument as I continue to play, mist swirls around my body, then in the next moment, a scene form around us.
Rain pours from the sky as a simple stone obelisk rests before us. In the far distance a barren forest absolutely covered in mist seems to loom ominously. Just to the left of that, a large volcano sits.
"It's... it's the Lost Woods?" Linkle mutters.
"Judging by the location of the Lost Woods and Death Mountain, it appears that there are some hidden ruins somewhere within the Eldin Mountains." Purah chimes in. "How interesting... I was unaware that anything existed there."
"Is this the location of one of the missing divine beasts?" Impa- who I can tell is Impa as her face markings are black instead of Paya's red- questions.
"No." I shake my head. "The way this works is that when I play it and am looking for something, if I have enough information to reasonably deduce where the object is, it will show its location. Otherwise it merely shows us a location where we can gather more information... thus... this strange spire."
My eyes slide to Purah. "What is your opinion on going and seeing if we can get the master sword first, then checking out this place?"
The woman hums mutely. "I do wish to see Vah Sarin, but perhaps this will be worthwhile. Linkle regaining the master sword could be a great boon to your survival."
"So uh..." I begin slowly, turning to the two near identical women. "Impa. What are you going to do?"
"I will push the Sheikah guardsmen to their limits... in addition, I might see if I am able to learn those advanced techniques you have brought back from the Sheik vault. They might be useful in the near future."
"Great! We have a battle plan, then." Linkle smiles brightly. "Now, I've been up for around sixteen hours at this point, sooooo-"
She wraps an arm around my torso, practically getting me in a chokehold, then lays down. "I'm going to get some sleep... g'night!"
Paya blushes, and Impa looks mildly unsettled by Linkle's clinginess.
"Blame Purah. She did this to us." I state.
"That harlot seduced us." Linkle agrees.
"Harlot?!" The woman shouts. "Okay, I see how it is."
I don't think Paya can physically look any more red.
"Explain, Purah." The recently youthened woman frowns.
"She led us into an ancient marriage temple that locked us inside until we 'spiritually connected'." I blandly explain.
"..."
"He means until we fucked." Linkle cuts in.
Impa shoots Purah a disappointed stare.
"You're making it sound way worse than it actually is!" Purah exclaims. "You knew what the temple was about halfway through! We could have left at any point before that last room! Besides it didn't lock us in there! We could have left at any point!"
"It took our clothes." I deadpan.
"Yeah." Linkle agrees. "What he said. I wasn't even about to consider leaving behind my Sheikah clothes which had been enhanced by all four great fairies."
"And you were the one who misled us into thinking that it was a marriage temple and not some sort of accursed fuck temple." I point, eyes narrowing. "So we went in there thinking to ourselves. 'technically we'll be married, but that really holds no power over us if we don't want it to. That mask is so utterly powerful, though, that it's worth the potential awkwardness we'd face in the future'. But bam. It took our clothes and told us to get to fucking."
"Oh!" Linkle gasps. "Speaking of masks, Impa, I know the Sheikah kept the Mask of Truth, but are there any other magical masks around? We need to expand our arsenal!"
"I do not." The serious woman shakes her head, grabbing Purah's wrist. "Now. If you will excuse me, I will be forced to have a chat with my elder sister here."
Impa drags Purah out of the room, leaving just Paya.
She flinches as both of our eyes fall upon her.
"O-Oh, I'll leave you to your rest!" She declares as she quickly slips outside, the door opening just enough to hear a brief tirade.
"-LL THE FOOLISH, HALF-WITTED, AND IMPULSIVE DECISIONS YOU COULD HAVE MADE! YOU MADE PERHAPS THE BIGGEST ONE! WHAT IF LINKLE IS PREG"-
The door closes, returning us to silence.
"Ooooh. Purah's in trouuuble." Linkle grins.
"I sort of feel bad." I blandly observe.
"I don't." The blonde heartlessly smirks. "This is pay back for making me think I'd be forced to streak across Hyrule when I first woke up."
"G'night, Aurum." She hums as she lays back down, nuzzling her face into my shoulder.
I shift slightly to get more comfortable, then close my eyes.
**Linebreak**
"I can't believe you two." Purah sighs as we make quick pace across Hyrule's fields. "Impa was really angry with me."
"Why should she care?" Linkle questions.
"She was under the impression that we didn't take precautions and that the 'Great Hero of Hyrule' was going to be fighting the calamity while steadily growing a child inside of her."
" THE Great Hero of Hyrule, huh? So, am I just not a part of this?" I ask. "Do my contributions not matter or something?"
"What, like your contributions to my bloodline?" The blonde in my lap snorts, causing me to crack a small smile.
"Impa's no fun." Purah pouts. "One hundred years has really made her boring. Tch. I'm supposed to be the older sister here!"
""Then act like it?"" Linkle and I echo each other.
"Oh, please don't start... I've already heard that like... ten times from Impa herself." The woman sighs dramatically. "She really needs to get laid."
"I volunteer as tribute- ow-" Linkle elbows me gently in the stomach.
"Hmmm... that just might work." Purah nods sagely. "But considering Impa's no fun, the only way I see it happening is if I get her really drunk. We'll have to do that sometime. Impa was always the more serious one of the two of us, but that was genuinely painful to be around."
Trees whiz past the car as we follow the roads. Traveling Hyrule is honestly the biggest time-waister for us.
It's a shame that Bards don't get a good teleport spell.
"Just remember. If you ever anger me, I could totally walk up to her and tell her that I missed my period." LInkle darkly chuckles.
"OH SWEET HYLIA YOU DEMON!" Purah cries. "I can already hear her screaming!"
"Please don't." I cut in. "I feel like I'd get caught in the blast radius of that one."
"Fiiiine." Linkle eventually relents, looking really disappointed that she won't get to mess with Purah with the 'nuclear option'. "I suppose that I can agree to that. But only because we have a mild empathic link and Impa screaming at you would make me just as distressed as you probably will become."
""Empathic Linkle."" We both say at the same time.
"FUCK!" I curse as the blonde shoots me a cheesy grin over her shoulder, she looks especially smug.
"I'll get you one of these days, mark my words." I threaten with a finger point, causing her shoulders to shake as she lets out a few laughing huffs through her nose.
**Linebreak**
"So... this is the Lost Wood." I note as I stare out into an expanse of gnarled trees, most of the treetops hold no leaves, making it look quite eerie as a thick mist seems to have rolled in across the entire forest. "Sort of spooky, not gonna lie."
"Yeah, I thought that as well." Linkle agrees.
"What's the deal with all the mist?" I question.
"I... actually don't know." She admits.
"Divine Beast..." Purah whispers.
Linkle and my own gaze both quickly snap over to look at her.
"Science lady say what now?" My blonde companion whispers.
"Huh?" I echo her sheer bafflement.
"This mist... it is caused by a Divine Beast." Purah whispers.
I share a glance with Linkle.
"So, I take it that you'll be going inside with us?" I ask.
"Yes. I will." Purah nods slowly.
"Then let's not waste any time." Linkle frowns as she slips on the mask of truth and begins to walk forwards. "It is quite easy to get lost here. The fog plays tricks on your mind. You end up walking in circles... it took me around a week to get to the Great Deku Tree's grotto in the center of this place the first time I arrived. Hopefully, with the Mask of Truth we can make it there in like an hour... Purah, you stay close. You won't have the benefit of the mask like Aurum and I will... In fact, Aurum, grab her hand and pull her along with us."
"Wait. There's one thing I want to check. We are Northwest of Kakariko right now, correct?"
"Roughly." Purah mutters. "Why?"
An ocarina is called to my hand, a quiet and chipper tune echoing out from the instrument.
Much like back at Kakariko when I played Saria's song last, a beam of light shoots from my spectral instrument, shooting deep into the forest.
"What is... that?" Purah questions.
"No clue." I reply. "But it is pointing to something. Something within this forest, it appears. Could be our divine beast, could be something else."
"We could always ask the Great Deku Tree." Linkle shrugs. "He's been around for a few thousand years. It's likely that he'll remember it. I also plan to ask him about some masks."
"Ask him if he knows anything about other providences. We have suspicions of a divine beast in this 'holodrum' place, but are there other places?"
"Obviously. But. At the moment, I believe that we should take care of Hyrule before worrying about anything beyond the borders." Purah speaks up.
"True." I relent with a small shrug, I take her hand then turn to Linkle offering her a sole nod.
As a group we begin to walk into the forest, passing under stone archways and broken pillars.
"Was there a town in the lost woods or something?" I ask as we creep deeper and deeper inside.
"Not that I can remember." Linkle whispers.
"Nor I." Purah agrees.
"Another thing to ask the Deku Tree, I guess." Linkle decides.
"Hey, Uh... Linkle is the mist supposed to be this thick? I can barely see anything." Purah begins, a slight nervousness in her tone.
"It's just you. The mask of truth allows Aurum and I to see through the mist. Don't worry, I can remember the way... it's a lot clearer now that I can actually see." Linkle grins.
"This forest..." She takes a deep breath. "Ah... it's probably one of the only places that I can let my guard down and not have to worry about Yiga assassins."
"True. That fog would make getting a lot of people inside a real pain in the ass, right?" I grin.
"Mhmmm." Linkle hums. "It almost makes me want them to follow us in here so we could pick them off one by one while they begin to panic... more and more being claimed by the fog."
"It's likely that they've tried to come in here in the past, but the Koroks really do love their tricks. Sometimes you can follow the path and still find yourself lost." The girl continues. "The Koroks probably didn't appreciate the Yiga clan entering their home unannounced."
"Do we have to worry about that?" I ask.
"We shouldn't." She replies. "We can see through their tricks, after all."
"So we won't have to worry about large rocks falling out of trees? Or pits in the ground?"
"Nnnnope... and If we do, you can just play that song that they seem to like... remember from the Great Fairy Fountain."
"Ah, right. Great fairies... you know, I actually bet that there are more of them out there somewhere." I mutter.
"Really?" Linkle questions.
"It's more than likely. I doubt all of the great fairies on the planet would gather here in Hyrule. There's likely some elsewhere."
"Huh..."
"Who knows, maybe they'd enhance weapons instead~" I grin.
"Woah! That totally could be possible!" Linkle exclaims. "Ah, damn. Now I want to go out and look for more great fairies. The idea of enchanted crossbows tickles my fancy."
"Who knows, you might get lucky and find some magic crossbows somewhere in Hyrule." I place my hand on the girl's shoulder in reassurance.
"I sure hope so..." She agrees, gazing dead ahead. It appears that we still have quite some ways to walk.