Published: March 20th 2025, 8:00:07 pm
The car bounces underneath us as we quickly approach a cliff face.
Purah gently eases on the breaks, causing us to roll to a stop.
I look to the white haired woman who is hanging off the side of the car, she runs a hand through her long hair then steps off.
Saria climbs out of the front seat, a green gem in a gold sitting wrapped around her wrist like a bracelet. The Zonai Sacred Stone. It worked for her much like that large Korok's.
Linkle and I climb out next, followed by Purah as she turns the buggy off.
"This is it?" Purah mutters, gazing around at our surroundings. "This... hidden Sheikah prison?"
She doesn't sound very impressed.
"I hope you're ready to be horrified." I scoff. "Honestly, my heart's beating like crazy even being close to that thing." I grumble under my breath.
"Ah yes, the... corpse... hand thing?" Purah questions. "Honestly I still kind of find it hard to believe that... are you sure you weren't under the effect of some illusion or something."
"Oooooh you'll see." Linkle whispers as we all walk over to a large disk-like platform.
"Also. Positive." I scoff. "The Mask of Truth pierces all illusions."
It shudders beneath our feet and begins to slowly carry us downwards as Purah pushes a button on her sheikah slate.
I cross my arms, letting out a long sigh already feeling the headache of this trip from a mile away.
This...
Is going to suck.
The elevator stops at the bottom, the expansive storage room lighting up.
Purah lets out a low hum as she looks around. "While I'm here... what do I need for my next project?"
"Next Project?" Impa frowns. "Oh great. What is it now, Purah?"
"That's a secret~" the white haired woman smirks.
"Alright... Linkle... you know how we get a little stronger after we... ah..."
"Huh?" The girl blinks. "Oh! Ohhh... yeah... uh... here?"
"I mean... it lasts an hour. We should probably grab it now."
"What are you talking about?" Impa questions slowly.
I turn to her. I silently decide how bluntly I should put this. "We get a fairly substantial power boost after I fuck her."
"You're joking." Impa deadpans, her face flat, an unimpressed glare piercing through me.
"He's... actually not." Purah comes to my rescue, causing the baleful glare to shift to her. "For about an hour after they have sex both Linkle and Aurum both have roughly a forty percent increase to their physical abilities. It's a result of those marks on their face."
"..." Impa is silent for a long moment. There's a bright tinge of pink to Saria's face, her mouth a flat line as she peers around the room. Seemingly trying to find the exit to this conversation.
Eventually Impa sighs. "Whatever. Just... go over there or something."
The serious woman lets out a huff as she crosses her arms.
I share a glance to Linkle and gesture to the side, causing her to scratch the side of her head with some slight embarrassment. Then she simply nods once.
[Split]
Linkle is practically glowing as we gaze down a large staircase.
"Alright... we've got maybe... fifty five minutes left or so? We should seriously get a move on." I begin. "It's likely that we'd be forced to stop and do that again in this place... but let's clear as much as we can before that point."
"Oh... wouldn't that be such a... shame..." Linkle mumbles with a bright satisfied smile on her lips, cheeks flushed.
"I can hear faint drumming... from the sounds... it looks to be a drum that's about... say... ten feet across... it seems to be echoing throughout a room that's thirty by sixty... with a roof at least fifty feet up." Purah observes. The tri-force on the back of her hand glowing in the darkness.
"Do you all need light?" I ask slowly. "I can see perfectly fine in the dark so it slips my mind at times. I just wanted to know if I needed to conjure some form of light for all of you."
"That'd be appreciated." Saria nods slowly. "It's... kind of dark here."
I look over her for a moment. "Ah! Here we go."
I reach out and touch her belt, causing the girl to let out a small squeak.
SHNNNN
The spot I touched begins to glow like a lantern, casting shadows down the descending staircase.
"Anyone else?"
"I'm fine." Purah shrugs.
"I would appreciate it as well." Impa nods.
I reach over and tap the end of her belt as well.
"That'll last for... a little over an hour and a half." I state as I look down the descending staircase, take a deep breath and begin my trip downwards.
The others follow as the drumming grows louder and louder, reverberating off the stone walls that surround us.
Bum-di-bum-bum-bum-diki-bum
That same beat it was playing the first time.
Eventually the hallway opens up, the drumming abruptly stopping as I can assume it sees the light we are casting.
Four hands float in the air, disconnected from the body. A singular large red eye stares at us unblinkingly from where the head would be on a humanoid torso. Five flaps of flesh opened around it like a morbid flower, the hands hovering around it twitch and shake. I can see the stone floor, raised from it around the upside down creature are several large drums. They look remarkably untouched and well-preserved despite the fact this room is well over ten thousand years old.
My sword glows brightly in the darkness as does Linkle's. The corruption that this dark spirit faces being comparable to that of even the shades of Calamity Ganon.
"I do not know what purpose you had... to consider doing this to yourselves..." I begin quietly as I step forwards, the fists clenching as I draw the Sovreign blade from my back. "But... know this... we WILL end this nightmare."
SCREWEAAAAAARG!
The room rumbles as the specter lets out a shriek of rage.
"Haste!" I hiss, magical power exploding outwards from me and latching onto my four companions.
I split in two, my clone hanging back and drawing Shiek's harp from my bag and beginning to play as I duck under a grasping hand, slashing my blade along it. A fountain of black smoke spewing from the gash.
Three spectral copies of the blade appear, following the trail of my weapon as I continue.
My body becomes a blur as I shoot forwards, covering considerable distance in a fraction of a second.
As I draw my blade back to strike at the massive ghastly creature, black smoke coalesces in front of me, my eyes widening as the hand I just cut reappears. I barely manage to block it as the car-sized hand crashes into my body, my feet slide across the floor as a second figure appears next to me. Linkle rams the master sword through the spectral appendage.
Three copies of her weapon crash into it a fraction of a second later, causing it to poof into black smoke again.
Two of the large hands try to slam into us from both sides, but we slash out, causing both to recoil in pain, smoke spewing from their injuries.
A third fist appears above us, smashing downwards, but we both take a quick hop apart and jab out weapons inwards, skewering it from two sides.
A fourth hand is frozen in place with a sunny yellow glow. Purah having placed it in stasis. Arrows thud into it, vines quickly coiling around the frozen hand.
It breaks free and promptly dissipates into smoke.
"This isn't working!" Impa calls out.
"Wait... THE DRUMS!" Purah shouts. "They're made of the ghost's original bodies!"
Made of the... original bodies?
"Kill the drums. Got it." I nod once.
I cast 'Bladed Dash' again. Linkle and I shooting off towards the closest drums.
I hop, sliding on my knees across the bumpy surface of it. I can see pointed ears and noses, sewn eyes. It's... horrifying.
My blade slashes across its surface, ripping the human- sheikah leather.
The fist that was rushing towards my open back seems to recoil.
I slash again and again, eventually the spirit destabilizing into a fine mist.
A massive arm crashes into me, flinging me across the room. I let out a pained wheeze as I slam into one of the stone walls.
"AURUM!" LInkle shouts.
Two hands remain, the large four-armed ghost has dropped from the ceiling. It hunches over the centermost drum.
"I'm fine!" I call out. "Just a little out of practice, I guess!"
Healing magic channels throughout my hand as I place it upon my chest. Golden light flashing to life around Linkle as the spell targets her as well. The pain in my cracked ribs fade.
"DODGE!" I shout as the single eye focuses on Linkle.
She barely dives out of the way as a red laser scorches the stone underfoot, leaving it blackened and glowing a dim orangish red.
It didn't fully melt the floor, but getting hit by that will fucking SUUUUCK.
It might even kill.
A spectral chain connects to the drum as I lunge forwards, a circular glowing bomb rolling across the floor, being dragged by the chain as it contracts.
The remaining two hands rear back, pointing forwards with their index and middle fingers, red energy briefly crackling along the length of its fingers.
A muted explosion echoes out as the giant ghost crushes the bomb with its hand-less arm, the forearm being blown apart by the blue explosion and beginning to reform as the floating hands begin shooting out blasts of red energy.
I knock one aside as I re-cast haste. It has been about a minute. Another clone splitting from me and beginning to play as the trail of weapons following my blade disappear.
I don't want to use up all of my ki... I might need it for whatever else this place has in store.
I've cast haste twice. Cure serious wounds once. Weapon Storm once... that leaves two third level spells left.
Why don't I take up some of those fourth levels I'm not using right now?
"Extend." I whisper.
The blade echoes follow along after me. I weave between bolts of red energy, making my way towards one of the remaining smaller drums.
My speed increases as I cast bladed dash once more, idly counting down the number of second level spells I've cast.
That makes three. Three left.
My weapon carves through the human flesh of the drum, cutting the leather completely in half and causing one of the attacking hands to freeze and begin shaking.
I dive out of the way of the giant forearm that tries to swat me like a bug. What it accomplishes however is utterly destroying the drum, causing the twitching hand to dissipate with a shriek.
BZZZEWWW
the room is brightened as a massive white laser tears through the chest of the spirit. A large sunflower has broken through the stone floor and is facing the ghostly beast. I can see a dozen clones made of blue light lunge forwards. They all begin tearing into the largest drum with their spectral tantos.
A large glob of magma crashes into Congo Bongo and detonates, causing it to let out a shriek as the spirit... disappears...
Silence falls on the battlefield.
Linkle and I cast a glance towards Impa. The one who had shot the glob of magma after doing a bunch of hand seals.
What is this, Naruto?
"Soooo uh... Impa's strong." I observe, causing the blonde next to me to nod dumbly.
Saria's also up there thanks to her new Zonai Sacred Stone...
Damn.
I want one.
I kind of wish I knew what happened in tears of the Kingdom... I know Ganondorf's back but like... I got put here before the game came out... total shame. It looked fun.
I turn and make my way back towards the group, my guard still raised as I peer around cautiously.
My blade has dimmed somewhat so it'd probably dead.
"Well... Purah I'll be expecting a FULL apology." Grumble as I walk over. "'Oooh Aurum. You didn't see anything down there! I don't believe you. You're just messing with me'."
"Yeah yeah." The glasses wearing scientist scoffs. "You were right. There. You happy?"
I grin slightly. "Hmmm... how about you help me with something after we get back to the camp instead."
"Hmmm do you perhaps need some... guidance? Will Linkle be joining us?" She looks quite smug, like the cat who got the canary.
"Oi." Linkle pouts, cutting into the conversation. "Focus. Triforce of wisdom now. Fucking Purah later."
"Fiiiine fine." I sigh allowing us to fall into silence.
An idea comes to mind. "Hey. Saria. Impa."
Linkle swats the back of my head, causing me to let out a laugh as I shrug. "Hey, you never said anything about Saria and Impa, Linkle."
Saria's flustered and Impa looks less than impressed.
"You're just as lustful as Purah's letter said..." The woman grumbles, a weary sigh leaving her lips.
"Tell you what... if it will motivate you... I'll sleep with you if you can end the Calamity."
"..."
Linkle slowly turns to look at me. "So. Next stop Hyrule Castle so we can bed the super serious Sheikah Ninja?"
Snrk- I snort as Impa looks to Linkle as if she is some sort of imposter. "I was just about to say that."
"I know." Linkle deadpans, giving me a half-lidded stare. "Let's finish this up... we've got like... forty minutes left or so?"
"Forty nine until Aurum needs to bed you again to keep your strength up." Purah supplies.
"We're wasting time, then." The blonde exclaims as she turns towards the door beyond this chamber. We make our way to it and through it, coming to a long hallway with a large iron double door at the far side upon its surface is three triangles. The bottom left one is filled in completely with a bright gold, the other two being mere outlines.
I begin to take a step forwards but Purah stops me with a hand on my shoulder. "It's trapped."
Four sets of eyes stray to Purah. Linkle puts on the mask of truth.
Suddenly the hallway is filled.
"Ah. Shit." I mutter under my breath.
Eerily quiet swinging blades swish back and forth. Nozzles shoot invisible blasts of flame- must be some sort of hydrogen-based fire- and spears stab from the walls at random intervals.
Numerous of the tiles across the floor have skulls on them... and unlike with Shiek's vault... there doesn't appear to be a convenient side path.
"Well..." I groan, eyes slowly straying the numerous traps. I turn to Linkle. "How do you want to do this?"
"We're like the only ones who can see this, right?"
"Reasonably I could just go back and forth carrying the others." I admit with a shrug.
"I could probably carry Saria so you only have to make two trips." Linkle continues.
Shame... I wanted to carry her.
"Yeah. That sounds good."
"I could make my way through without much issue." Purah cuts in. "Triforce of knowledge and all."
"..."
"Welp." I mutter. "Let's do this."
Impa walks over to me. "If your hands wander... I'll be beating you after we get out of here."
"Don't threaten me with a good time." I roll my eyes and quickly scoop her up, one hand supporting her shoulders, the other arm at the bend of her knees, she glares pointedly at me. It's a little hot, honestly.
I rush forwards, eyes scanning the traps.
A burst of flames explode before me. I idle briefly, stepping back to avoid a swiping pendulum blade. I dash forwards after the fire peters out, coming to a halt just in front of the large double door.
Linkle comes to a stop just beside me, Saria climbing off her back as I sit Impa down on the ground.
The woman lets out a quiet 'hmph' as she brushes herself off.
Purah steps over, patting at one of her sleeves.
Her eyes glow as she looks over it, the cloth lightly blackened. "Ah. There we go. Invisible fire... that's kind of horrifying... anyways. Shall we?"
I push the double doors open, revealing a new chamber, the room is circular with a large brazier in the center of the room. Large grooves have been carved into the floor as three iron spikes seem to protrude from parts of the floor.
"Let me guess... Sliding puzzle?" I ask, eyes straying to Purah.
"It is... but it's incomplete." The woman notes, eyes straying along the walls. She taps the floor with her smoking pipe, letting out a low hum as the quiet 'clack's echo out. "You're meant to light the brazier in the middle to loosen up the mechanism."
"Under the floor is a layer of hardened Gallium, in which the bases for those pillars there were inserted into." She gestures forwards.
"Ah. Gallium, that's the metal which melts in your hand, right?"
"Yes. It has a tremendously low melting point." She confirms. "Honestly, it is QUITE interesting the way that they've made this. A two-step lock. The first part would be to line this pillars up with spots in the floor. You can see those holes, right? They'll cast shadows on the walls which some sort of primitive light-sensor will detect. The issue is... each of these pillars need something inside of them. A piece of metal to shape the light coming out of the hole on the other side and to catch the light, reflecting it down inside of the pillar."
"Well... where are they then?" I ask.
"I believe I know... just give me a moment." Purah declares as she walks forwards.
With a wave of her hand the brazier ignites from a few stray sparks. A bright blue flame seems to curl upwards with a quiet 'fwoosh', casting shadows along the walls.
Sheikah arts are fucking weird.
I fold my arms behind my head, letting out a quiet sigh as Purah taps her foot, gazing at the floor, seemingly waiting for the Gallium to melt.
I eventually sit down, seeing that this is going to take a while, Linkle joining me after a moment.
"Hey." I greet.
"Hey~" she replies.
She leans her head on my shoulder as I wrap an arm around her.
"So." I begin. "What's on your mind today?"
"I'm just... thinking about what the triforce of wisdom could possibly do... like... with knowledge it's kind of obvious, but wisdom? How do you quantify wisdom? Does it just allow you to make better choices?" She asks.
"No clue." I shake my head. "Let's hope it's as useful as knowledge or more so... because I don't really see how wisdom could be that effective in a combat scenario."
I hear grinding stone as Purah shoves the pillars into place. Suddenly a large section of the wall slides downwards.
I rise to my feet as a simple door is revealed.
We step forwards and open it... revealing a... library?
A page or two gently falls from above as I frown, eyes straying to a simple table and chair.
On the table is a strange metal symbol with a large base. It looks kind of like a hood ornament.
The corners of my mouth turn downwards as I look around the room.
Something feels... off... like a gentle prickle at the back of my neck. I feel... watched...
"HEHEHEH AHAHAH LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOKS!" Purah cheers.
"Purah. Now's not the time." I deadpan. "We're wasting time. You can read all this later."
The glasses wearing woman pouts at me before sighing. "Fiiiine."
We return to the center room, Purah affixing the metal to the second of the pillars which she also slides into place.
With that, another part of the wall slides down, opposite from the library.
We make our way forwards, opening the door to reveal... a room.
One that's quite girly. With a frilly bed and stuffed animals that look like they've seen better days.
On the bedside table I can see another piece of metal much like the last.
I step forwards, taking it and looking over my shoulder to the others.
My gaze snaps to the side, as I thought I saw something moving, but it was just... nothing?
Well... it's either that or the stuffed animals are going to animate and try to murder me... which is an unsettling thought.
The feeling of being watched is still there, though.
I make my way back, passing the metal piece to Purah as I go and stand beside Linkle, eyes trailing the room suspiciously.
"So... Purah... why a bedroom and a library?" I ask slowly.
A hum leaves her lips as she stands on the tips of her toes, trying to insert the metal into the hole of the tallest pillar.
I let out a small sigh as I step forwards, wrapping my arms around her midsection and lifting her upwards slightly.
"Were you hoping I'd do this?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.
"Mmmmaybe~" she grins as she finishes with her work. "As for your question... I don't know. But it seems... unusual. Some of the books look like they've moved... and there was a surprising lack of dust in the bedroom... the dolls looked quite worn as well... perhaps someone lived here? That does beg the question 'who' though... as I don't see any food or water... so they must not eat or drink."
"Undead?" I question.
She opens her mouth, then closes it. "Huh. Maybe. But that begs the question... where are they?"
I frown, glancing around the room again. "If the feeling of being watched is accurate... they're watching. Waiting. For what? I don't know, but they're... around..."
"But this was a prison, right? Are they a guardian like that giant outside?" The woman ponders, gesturing over her shoulder with a thumb.
I simply shrug and step back, allowing her to shove the final pillar into place.
With that, the wall before us opens, revealing a door that mirrors the one we came in.
I push open the double doors, seeing a chamber rivaling that of the room Congo Bongo was in. Large, bulky suits of armor seem to line the wall of this arched room. It looks like the inside of a temple or church which is... unusual.
In front of us stands one sole suit of reddish armor. Frankly, they look akin to something a Goron might wear. Bulky. Grey. With two upward facing curved horns on the helmet. It stands at around eight feet tall.
In one hand it holds a large square metal shield with the Hyrule family crest. In the other, a large double-edged sword thick enough to be a shovel, probably weighing a good fifty to sixty pounds.
The room is lit by numerous torches housing ghostly blue flames. As a group we seem to cautiously take in the sights. It's strangely beautiful. Large black tiles lining the floor. Seemingly made of some form of volcanic rock.
The walls are of a similar color, just with more grey.
I can still feel a gaze upon me... but I just don't know from-
I gaze up into the T-Shaped gap on the helmet of the towering armor.
Two blazing red eyes glare down at us as my face flattens. The others seemingly notice it at the same time as they seem to ready themselves. Dropping into fighting stances. Impa raises her fists, Saria draws an arrow, Linkle unsheathes the master sword.
"Ah..." Purah mutters. "Armor being controlled... by uh... a Phantom..."
The armor in front of us takes a step forwards raising its blade.
"When I woke up today... I didn't expect to fight so many ghosts." I admit.
It charges forwards.