Published: May 19th 2025, 7:43:07 pm
My depression began young.
I couldn't be myself around my family. I was too passionate, too energetic, too much.
So I hid parts of myself and became a version of me for them I thought they would like.
But I left myself in a great big shadow. And stayed there for far too long.
...
I have been incredibly fortunate
in meeting friends that love me for me
that see the sparkle in my eye when a funny-looking dog walks by my window
and they already know the joke I want to make.
How the pup looks like a hoola dancer with the way he sways those little dog hips, haha.
My weirdness is not just accepted,
but welcomed.
And to be included in someone else's comfort circle
has showed me that I am allowed to be all of me.
Not just the parts I think people will like.
Does that make sense?
...
Why this community is a place we both come back to
is because it is a place where we can be ourselves
free of judgement.
You ask me what I look like
and I shake my head.
No, my love.
Tell me how I feel.
How do I feel to you?
I am here showing up as me, all of me.
And I want you to do the same.
Because it is an honor
to get to know you.
The real you.
The real you is my favorite you.
Every part, every version.
All the you that you have ever been.
I'll sit with in times of need
when you feel like there isn't anyone on planet Earth
that could get those weird parts of you.
...
I want to start a longer conversation about stepping away from people that put you in a box. People that would not accept new versions of you and in turn make you feel like you cannot change because they would tease you, belittle you.
If you have lost old friends or family members, I want to encourage you to see it as a growing moment. Alone, you have the liberty to become who you are meant to become. Free from judgment, moving fluidly without the weight of their judgment on your back. You know what I mean? Sometimes, losing the wrong people means finding parts of yourself that you would not have found otherwise.
I love you so much. I hope these words of silly wisdom from me to you can carry you a little lighter today. This is a conversation, so I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below! :)
love you, mean it!
~felka