Published: September 30th 2023, 5:19:41 pm
The winning prompt for this month's bonus chapter was Mr. Clarke's [Culinary Mastery] with 43% of the votes. Enjoy!
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September’s Extra Chapter
“Are you ready to harness the power of spice?” I clapped my hands, and a cloud of flour covered the kitchen counter.
Ilya sighed and rolled up her sleeves, “First of all, I’m not a little kid that gets pumped up with such a simple task as cooking. Second, this is just lunch.”
I shook my head. This was no regular meal; this was the first meal since I managed to fill the pantry to the brim. Despite the markets being mostly shut down due to the menace of a Monster Surge, I had combed the city until I had gathered enough ingredients and spices to survive a nuclear war and not repeat a plate ever.
“Food is what separates men from barbarians, also the English Channel, but that’s not relevant now.” I replied.
As usual, Ilya didn’t even bother trying to understand my words. The existence of the English Channel was superfluous for a gnome girl from Farcrest. She just gave me an exasperated look and put her brown hair in a ponytail.
Like an Alchemist preparing their potions, I set out an array of spices on the counter, each one in its own little vial. There were some strange spices in this world, but there were also a lot of species from Earth. I had thyme, rosemary, cumin, black pepper, salt, and garlic. Also, the jewel of the crown, a red bright powder called dragon pepper. The spices vendor had told me a small sprinkle of dragon pepper could ignite the taste buds of even the most seasoned pepper connoisseur.
I planned to leave the dragon pepper for personal use.
“If Miss Elincia asks where her potion vials are, you don’t know anything.” I said, winking. at Ilya.
She wasn’t amused.
Yet.
“I can do this on my own, Mister Clarke. You should go with Miss Elincia to brew potions or play with the little kids.” Ilya sighed.
It was apparent she saw me as a hindrance more than a helper and I had to remind myself that Scholars weren’t known for doing housework. However, only a true Scholar knew that cooking was mankind’s earliest science and oldest artform.
“Ilya, Ilya, Ilya… cooking is a delicate process, an art if you will. We are not just making a meal, we are carving into the very heart of our guests. A good meal will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. A good meal can win you the hearts of the people.” I said, pointing at Ilya with a floured finger.
Ilya closed her eyes, as if she was enduring astronomical levels of cringe.
My ‘dork teacher’ persona was one of my best acts.
Or maybe it wasn’t an act.
I would have to ask Elincia for her opinion later. After revealing what I had saved for dessert, of course.
“What are we doing then?” Ilya asked, burning her last reserves of patience.
“A three-course meal.” I replied with a mischievous smile.
The concept of a three-course meal, although easy to explain, seemed to be particularly hard to understand for the gnome girl.
“So you're telling me you have a little lunch, then you have lunch again, and then you eat a sweet treat?” Ilya asked.
“Yeah, basically.”
“Why don't we just put everything into a big pot and make vegetable soup. It would be easier.” Ilya said.
“It would be easier, but my way is the way of the flavor.” I replied with a smile.
Ilya shook her head, clearly unconvinced. “Fine, the ‘way of flavor’ it is. But let's get this over with quickly. I have better things to do than engage in culinary theatrics.”
I chuckled, enjoying the banter. “You'll thank me when you taste the results. Now, let's start with the appetizer.”
I reached for a bottle containing a shimmering dark liquid. “This, my dear Ilya, is elven olive oil. Harvested under the light of a full moon, by the daughters of Oberon, it adds a touch of magic to any dish.” I poured a sizable amount into a pan, letting the fragrance fill the air.
Ilya raised an eyebrow. “Magic olive oil? Is that even a thing? Are you sure the vendor didn’t scam you?”
“Of course.” I replied with mock seriousness. "Elves are known for their enchanting culinary secrets. Now, pay attention.” I handed her a handful of chopped potatoes. “Submerge them in the oil until they get a little brown, then strain them and add salt.”
Ilya grabbed the handful of potatoes and looked at me in panic.
“What?! Why me?! I haven’t ever made something like this yet!” She complained.
“You’ll be okay, Ilya! Just listen to the voice of your ancestors whispering into your ear and you will know when the precise moment comes. Meanwhile, I’ll sauté these vegetables.” I replied.
“What? Voice of the ancestors? Is that a skill or something?”
As the vegetables sizzled, I moved on to the main course. Spaghetti.
“Now, my dear Ilya…” I continued with a flourish of the hand and a rain of flour fell over the counter. “For the main course, we shall embark on a journey through the realm of flavors with l’arte mistica of spaghetti making.”
I pulled out a second bag of flour and began forming a flattened volcano on the countertop. With a dramatic pause, I cracked open a few eggs and gently poured them into the center of the flour. “This, my dear apprentice, is the heart of our spaghetti, the essence of the dish. Now, I shall knead the flour and eggs together until the magic happens.”
Ilya eyed the mixture of flour and eggs with caution. Despite her rising skill to manipulate mana, I wasn’t sure she could actually ‘see’ it.
“Magic again? Are you sure you're not just making this up as you go?” Ilya asked, her focus divided between the potatoes and the dough. “The potatoes are getting golden!”
Carefully, the girl strained the fried potatoes and let them rest into a clay pot that she put over the stove, not quite over the flame but just close enough so they wouldn’t get cold. Keeping things warm was going to be a challenge without a microwave.
“You are forgetting the salt.” I pointed out.
“How much?” Ilya asked as she opened the lid of the clay pot.
“Plenty.” I said with a wink.
Ilya pinched the salt jar and applied the white grains as if she was counting them. I decided to let the dough aside for a moment and helped the gnome girl, whose ancestors seemed to advise moderation. I wondered how much seasoning the organism of an orphan from a magical world could endure.
“Too much! You are going to ruin them!” Ilya yelled as I threw the salt into the pot.
“Try one.” I replied, returning to the spaghetti dough.
Ilya reluctantly obeyed.
Her eyes shot wide open, her face flushed, and her hand darted towards the pot to snatch a second fried potato. Oil wasn’t particularly cheap, so I assumed it was the first time Ilya ate fried food. I didn’t have any proof, but eating fries for the first time must have felt like falling in love.
“What is this witchcraft?” Ilya asked with incredulity.
Like a squirrel gathering nuts, her light blue cheeks were filled with potatoes. She couldn’t stop. But who could?
“Save some for the rest, loyal assistant.” I giggled.
“Is that dough also going into the oil?” Ilya asked.
I shrugged my shoulders, that was going to be a surprise for later.
As Ilya continued frying potatoes, I chopped beef into small cubes and applied a generous amount of spices and salt to add flavor. “The herbs are a blend of basil, oregano, marjoram, rosemary, sage, and a hint of enchanted thyme. It's essential to infuse our creation with the right balance of flavors.”
When she finished with the potatoes, I handed her a rolling pin.
“Roll out the dough until it's thin, like the umber strands of hair from a gnome princess.”
Ilya tentatively rolled out the dough, her eyes narrowing in concentration. “I never thought making food would be so... poetic.”
“Ah, I’m just messing with you.“ I said, gesturing dramatically.
“What?! I was starting to believe you!” Ilya said in disbelief.
“Well. I guess we could cut some veggies, throw them into the pot, and call it a day. But putting in the work and making a memorable dish for the ones we care about is really something I like to do.” I explained. “Now, cut the dough into thin strips. The strands should be as delicate as the threads of fate.”
Ilya nodded and obeyed.
I let the girl work on the pasta while I continued with the sauce.
“W-what’s next in our culinary saga?” Ilya shyly asked after she was finished cutting the dough.
I grinned. It was good to see her jumping on the fun wagon.
“The sauce.”
“The sauce?”
“Yes. The sauce.”
I pointed to a pot simmering on the stove. “In there, a holy medley of tomatoes, garlic, onions, and a secret ingredient known only to the most skilled chefs.”
Ilya glared at the pot, however, there was no mistrust in her eyes. Her initial skepticism had turned into curiosity.
“What’s the ingredient?”
“It's a pinch of pixie dust.” I said with a mischievous twinkle in my eye. “Just kidding. It's actually oregano, it adds a nice flavor to the sauce.”
As we let the spaghetti boil and the sauce thicken. The aroma in the kitchen became a symphony of herbs, vegetables, and spices. Ilya rubbed her hands in anticipation.
“Now, we wait for our masterpiece to come together. And then, my dear Ilya, you shall understand the true meaning of the 'way of flavor.” I said with a smile. “Let’s get the kids into the kitchen.”
Ilya nodded and walked towards the door, however, she stopped midway.
“Master? Can I taste a little more potato fries?” She said with a shy voice.
“Yes, my dear assistant. The kitchen staff shall feast!”
* * *
Ilya and I plated the food for twelve orphans and two caretakers. The atmosphere in the kitchen was vibrant. The mere smell was enough to make everyone salivate. With the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Elincia cleaning her mouth with the sleeve of her sweater. It was a great sign.
The appetizer, a plate of golden-brown potato fries and sauteed vegetables, disappeared almost instantly as the orphans dug in with gusto. The room fell silent for a moment just to burst into chatter once again. Ilya grinned by my side, seeing how the kids licked the plates clean.
While Nokti and Virdian had entered what I called ‘defense mode’, a semi-feral state in which they protected their plates with both hands while eating with the help of their long tongues, Shu stood from her seat and walked towards me.
“Mishter Clarke, thish ish the moshst delishious food I have ever eaten.” The harpy girl sobbed and sniffled. Her mouth was still full of potatoes. “Can I have a little more?”
I grabbed a handkerchief and cleaned Shu’s face.
“I’m sorry, kid. There are no more fries.” I said with a solemn tone. “But we still have to eat the main course.”
This time it was Ash who jumped on his chair. “WHAT! We get to eat again!?”
The news about a second plate spread like fire through the kitchen and a moment later the kids, and even Elincia, were chanting for the main course. With the help of Zaon and Firana, we served spaghetti and the kitchen fell into a supernatural silence for the second time that the day.
“Please use your napkins!” I said as the slurping sounds filled the atmosphere.
At that point, I was so tired I wasn’t hungry anymore. Ilya seemed to be in a similar situation, because other than an occasional bite, she focused on watching the rest of the kids eat. They were truly enjoying it.
“Mister Clarke, problems.” Ilya whispered into my ear when the main course came to an end. “You said this was a three-course meal, but we prepared only two.”
A quick examination of the room revealed that the guests were more than satisfied with the result of the meal. A couple of them, Shu and the little ones were even starting to show signs of falling asleep.
“Sometimes, Ilya, you have to let the true pros do the job.” I said, revealing a tray of berry tarts hidden in the corner of the kitchen.
“That’s cheating.” Ilya replied with a mischievous expression.
“Now, my loyal pupil, go spread the message of the pantry.” I said, giving the tray to Ilya.
From the opposite corner of the room, Elincia followed the berry tarts with predatory eyes. Then, without any of the kids realizing, she flirtatiously winked and blew me a kiss. My heart skipped a beat as I read her lips.
Apparently my work had been worth more than what I expected.