Published: May 8th 2023, 7:24:02 am
It all started innocently enough. I was at my Mom's place, finally visiting after finding some time in my schedule by some miracle to visit.
"Oh, good. You finally found some time to see me," said Mom, as I walked into the house. "You know, it would be nice to see you more often. Something could happen to me and no one would know!"
"I know, Mom, I know," I sighed, as I pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down. She poured me a cup of tea before I could even ask for something to drink. "So what's new?" She looked at me for a few moments with an exasperated look before responding.
"Nothing. As usual. It's boring getting old, Bobby. I wouldn't recommend it."
I instantly knew I had asked the wrong question, but eventually I managed to steer the conversation away from her woes of aging, and onto other things, though when it turned to my embarassing baby stories, I almost regretted changing the subject.
"I'm still surprised everytime you go to use the restroom," she said, when I tried to excuse myself. "Did I ever tell you how many years it took to potty train you?"
"Only a million times, Mom," I said, my cheeks already turning red as I tried to hurry out of the room.
"It was like pulling teeth to get you to use the potty. You didn't want to give up your diapers. Now look at you!"
"Thanks, Mom!" I said, exiting the corner and shaking my head. I muttered to myself, "It's not a big deal. Everybody learns it. Geez."
The conversation must have gotten her mind going, because when I came back, she had a box of stuff waiting for me on the table.
"What's this?" I asked.
"It's some of your old things. VHS tapes. Stuffed animals, and the like."
"Oh, Mom. I don't want that old stuff," I said, trying to decline it. "You can donate it to charity."
"No," she retorted. "You can take it to charity. You take it and do whatever you want with it. I'm trying to clear up my house, maybe turn your old room into a guest room or rent it out."
"Alright, alright," I relented. I got that she didn't want to haul all my old junk out to the goodwill store, so I supposed it was fair that I did so. Still, I was a bit annoyed that I was going to have to bring all this stuff out to my old car.
"Who knows, maybe you'll find something you want to keep," she said, as I casually looked through the box, trying to show as little interest as possible. Of course, part of me was curious. Part of me actually felt a strong nostalgia from what I saw, like a few VHS tapes that I used to watch over and over as a kid. Those had a lot of happy memories attached. I picked one up out of the box.
"You know, I don't even have anything that would play these now..."
"Oh, hold on. I'll throw the old VCR in there as well. I need to get rid of it anyway."
"No, Mom, that's really..." but she was already out of the room. "...fine..."
I sighed, looking through some of the old coloring books, activity magazines, joke books, stuffies, and of course, videos from my childhood. I pulled out a magazine that had a big picture and a list of things to search for on the side. I smiled. Some of the things had been crossed off the list and circled in the magazine already while others were not. I could remember back to when I was so easily amused. If only life were so simple now.
"Here we go," said Mom, walking back into the room with the VCR. "Now you can watch all your old tapes to your heart's content."
"I'm not going to watch them," I reminded my mom. "I'm going to donate them to Goodwill. What would a sensible adult be doing watching this sort of thing anyway?"
"Why indeed?" she asked. "But then, we can't be sensible all the time, now can we?"
The question stuck in my mind as I returned home. Mom always complained of how boring it was to grow old. I didn't want to get old if that's what it was like, and while the right thing to do seemed to be to stop at the Goodwill straight away, I found myself blowing right past it on the expressway and heading home.
"It wouldn't hurt to at least give it all a look, would it?"
And so it was that I ended up back at home with several boxes of childhood goodies to rifle through, and I made an evening of it.
In the first two boxes, I counted 12 search and find magazines, 2 joke/comic books, 6 stuffed animals, 20 VHS tapes, a blanket, and a box of baby accessories like bottles, pacifiers, and the like. Another box contained nothing but toys - GI Joes, Matchbox cars, and a big container of Legos. It was a treasure trove of goodies from my childhood, and I was sorely tempted to play with some of them. A temptation I eventually gave into, but not before making sure my curtains were shut so that no one would see what I was doing with these infantile diversions.
Ultimately, I became curious about what was on the VHS tapes, and so I set up the VCR in my living room. The shows were mostly episodes of Bear in the Big Blue House, and I found myself instantly enthralled as I played the first tape, which took me through the first episode, and then the second, and then the third. I ended up getting very sleepy as I watched, so I decided to retire to bed. The next day was a Sunday, so I decided to watch a little more. Once again I got very sleepy, and ultimately, I decided this show was best watched at bed time.
I decided to set up the VCR in my bedroom and it became my night time ritual to watch an episode before bed. For the next week, I watched an episode every night, while cuddling a plushie in bed. Always with the curtains drawn, of course. Every episode had a similar progression and I found the routine of the big bear greeting me, sniffing, taking me through the house, and then saying good night to the moon to be quite comforting. After a stressful day of work it was just nice to turn my brain off and enjoy the company of the characters in kiddy shows. Perhaps Mom had a point, not that I'd ever admit to her that I'd kept my baby stuff after all.
Gradually, I worked my way through all the VHS tapes. With multiple episodes on each tape, it did take a while, but eventually, I had just finished the last episode of the last tape the night prior. It was a late night, and I was tired, and a little drowsy. In short, I was in the perfect mindset to watch another episode.
Only this time was different... I had counted all my tapes and counted them again, but there seemed to be one I had missed!
The title was written in black marker on the little white label on the side of the tape. It said "Time to be Little".
"Huh... I don't remember this episode..."
And yet, there it was. Of course it had been a long time since I had watched all the tapes, so I just shrugged it off and assumed it would come back to me when I saw it. The episode started as normal with the theme song and everything, but I must have been especially tired because I found it difficult to keep my eyes open as the theme song ended. The camera zoomed in on the front door, and the door opened to reveal my big brown friend.
"Oh! Hi there! It's good to see you, old friend! Come on in!" Bear reached forward and grabbed my wrist, pulling me forward into the house, and suddenly my eyes were wide open as I felt myself tugged forward.
"What the?" I looked around and my bed and room were nowhere in sight. I was in the house! Was I dreaming?
I turned to bear to ask him a question but suddenly he started sniffing the air. "Wait a second... what's that smell?"
*SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF* *SNIFF*
"It smells like a baby in here..."
"A baby?" I asked, perplexed, but as he got closer and continued to sniff, I blushed. Based on previous episodes, I had an idea where this was going. Finally he came right up to me, sniffing and exclaimed,
"It's you!"
"I'm not a baby!" I protested. He sniffed again, looking skeptical. "No, no, I'm sure you're a baby! Oh, but you're dressed way too much like a grown up. We'd better fix that."
I tried to object, but the big bear scooped me up in his big fuzzy arms and carried me further into the house...