Published: December 14th 2022, 4:52:51 pm
"What is it?"
"I think it's a lizard..."
"In the diaper? I thought it was a poopie!"
"No, I'm pretty sure."
"But how did it get there?"
"I don't know. I took off my diaper and left it by the tree last night, and then when I looked this morning..."
The two tots' conversation was interrupted by a loud clearing of the throat and a stern looking woman glaring down at them as the crouched over the diaper.
"Excuse me? And just who gave you permission to take off your diaper?"
"Eep!" Agent P tried to run away, but Ms. Squelch was too fast, and she managed to grab him by the back of his shortalls. Next thing you know, her hands were down at the seat of his pants to discover that he was indeed not padded.
"Ooh! You're in big trouble now," she said. Then she looked over to his fuzzy companion, who had also been crouched by the Christmas tree until recently. "And what about you, Betawolf? Did you take off your diaper too?"
Beta shook his head vigorously. "No ma'am!"
"This is going to require serious consequences," said Ms. Squelch, turning back to Agent P. "Double diapers and locking plastic pants for you! And you'll be returning the lizard to the wild as well."
A few minutes later, the pampered boy was waddling out front of the massive home with the lizard in his hands. Out front counted as the wild to him and the other charges, since it was usually as far as they strayed from Squelch's Home for Littles and Pets.
Agent P missed the lizard, but he didn't dwell on it long. Only a minute later, he an Agent P were back by the tree discussing their find. Agent P was counting on his fingers and thinking really hard.
"So we leave our shoes by the fireplace on December 5th for St. Nicholas and Krampus. The menorah comes out December 18th. We open the presents under the tree on December 25th, We sacrifice the straw yule goat on December 21, and now we have Diaper Lizard Day on December 14th! That's... like... 27 more days we need to fill with holiday traditions!"
"Ooh! So it's like unlocking a video game achievement?" asked Beta. "That's so cool!"
"Yeah! Exactly! We need to start trying other stuff so we can unlock more holidays!"
"Okay!"
And so, the two boys went about setting out varous things around the home in hopes of discovering a new holiday tradition. Ms. Squelch saw, but she didn't say anything. They were just too cute. And after all, she didn't really want them to behave and act more grown up. This home was all about keeping the big little ones little until they moved on to another home, or until Santa or Krampus took them away to the workshop or the naughty nursery, depending on their behavior.
Ms. Squelch wanted her littles to be happy while they were there. The longer the littles stayed at her home, the happier they seemed, and the less they talked about Mommy or Daddy coming back.
"Ms. Squelch, we have a letter in the chimney from Mr. Krampus. He says he needs two new little ones for his naughty nursery. They don't have to be naughty."
"Oh, really? I think I might know just the two," she said, with a smile. "But let's tell him to have a little fun with it and tie it in with one of their christmas tradition. Take this down and send him a note back through the chimney..."