Published: May 5th 2022, 1:58:21 pm
Author's Note: The thrilling conclusion to this silly little free-write. I passed out on the couch last night after dinner, so I got up and did this first thing. Just a little write-up to start my day!
Agent Anderson paused. "Well, perhaps it's better if I show you."
At his behest, I stood up, my diapers crinkling loudly under my gray sweats. Then, we exited the interrogation-type room into a gray, featureless corridor. The kind you see in many government buildings.
"Just who is my supervisor and what is he supervising?" I asked.
"I am your supervisor," said Anderson. "For now. And as for what we're supervising, well... you'll see..."
He led me through a maze of twisting corridors, the sound of my diaper echoing with each step as we went through the large complex - wherever it was. I still hadn't seen any windows - none in the interview room and none in the halls. Nothing to tell me where I was. We passed several people whom I scrutinized for any sign of nationality or location - not a football jersey or branded piece of clothing to be seen. They were all wearing either gray sweatpants and sweatshirts like me, or they were buttoned up like Agent Anderson. And the ones with sweatpants were obviously wearing thick and crinkly diapers. I looked down at my own pants. Did I look that? With the way the sweatpants hugged the curve of the thick garments, I was all but sure that I did. I could feel the color rising to my cheeks as I thought about it.
FInally, we stopped at a door and Agent Anderson swiped a keycard. The door slid open to reveal a room full of screens. Some were large to be easily seen from across the room. Some were at individual consoles. It was a situation room. A room buzzing with activity. And the activity on the screen was what really drew my eye.
"Uh... Agent Anderson?"
"Yes, D.B.?"
"Am I the only diapered bandit?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.
The man smiled and shook his head. "Not in the least. The diapered bandit is everywhere. In every language. You see, you are part of something much larger than just yourself. Take a look over there to see just what your job entails.
He directed me toward a screen, and I looked, open mouthed as a man in grey sweats popped out of the bushes to grab a bicyclist and put them in a diaper right there in the open. Then he rode off on the bike, and the man in the diaper stood there dazed. Moments later, as if controlled by some remote control, the man walked off screen and the camera view changed, showing him walking into a van and popping out with sweats of his own.
"It looks like a continuous scene, right?" asked Agent Anderson. I nodded. "Well, it isn't. Those videos were taken six months apart. Look at what's happening now..."
He directed my attention over to the wall, where a map with flashing red dots was projected.
"Wh-what is that?" I asked.
"Those are active operations where our sleeper cells are being activated."
"Just where is this all going?" I asked, astonished.
"Don't you remember?" he asked snapping his fingers. "Code Pineapple, Alpha, Melvin, Pineapple. Awaken."
My eyes went wide as it all came back to me. "Of course! The plan! The plan to take over the world... with project PAMP!"
P stood for Pamp. A stood for All. M stood for mankind. And P stood for promptly.
"That's right, D.B. It's time we take this operation to phase two. Over the next few days we are awakening all of our field agents, and gathering them here for a huge conference. You've already passed by several of them.
"And the president? He's okay with this?"
"But of course! He's one of you. Haven't you seen the tabloid pictures of his big butt speculating that he wears diapers? Those darned tabloids are the only ones that are on to us. Grrr." He shook his fist, looking frustrated. Then, he calmed down, smiling and shaking his head. "No, it's fine. Who would ever believe them, anyway? The world isn't ready for the truth. And it won't be... until it's too late!"
We both laughed a hearty laugh as the world map lit up red. The conference was on its way. Then I began to cry.
"Oh no! I had an accident!"
"Oops," said Agent Anderson. "Side effect of the onboarding process. As your supervisor it's my job to take care of this. Let's go, pamperbutt."
I was led away, whining. It sure sucked to have no control, though I couldn't complain about the wonderful feel of the soggy diaper under my sweats.