Published: May 4th 2022, 5:54:28 am
CW: Implied Messing
I lay there in bed staring at the time. The digital numbers shining bright. I didn't want to go to sleep. I didn't know what would happen, when I did, only that there was around a ten percent chance that I would end up in someone else's clothes anywhere between my home and the nex two cities.
"C'mon! Stay awake, Gabe..."
I slapped myself to shock my drooping eyes awake but it only lasated for a few seconds...
"Damnit... so tired... just one... little...
*moan*
Uh oh.... It happened again... where was I?
I sat up and looked around. I didn't' recognize the home I was in... or my clothes...
At first it seemed like normal clothes, but then I sat up and heard the loud crinkle.
"What the...?"
I pulled open the waistband of the gray sweatpants I was wearing to see a thick diaper with a shiny taping panel on front. This didn't seem right at all... These weren't my clothes... and this wasn't my bed...
"Honey... I'm home! Oh my god, who are you and what are you doing in my house?!"
I looked up, letting the waistband snap into place as the man yelled at me. I was terrified and I didn't have an answer. Then, I blacked out, and I woke up on a park bench with an open newspaper over my face. When I sat up and let the newspaper fall away, I saw that I had literally had my nose buried in a headline that read: Diaper Bandit Strikes Again!
It had the look of one of those tabloid rags. The subtitle, 'Alien or government conspiracy?' didn't help. And yet, part of me was wondering that very question as well. If only I could interview for them and tell them my side of things, maybe the truth could come out, but of course that sounded very optimistic. Perhaps better to just keep this a secret as much as possible...
Heck, maybe it's just a coincidence. Maybe it's not me at all. I took to sleeping with a diaper on - just in case.
Then one day I woke up and I was in an official looking room. One with a plain desk, aluminum chairs, and two-way glass.
"This is the debriefing room," said a man wearing sunglasses and a military buzz cut. "We didn't have to do much, since you were already wearing a diaper earlier."
"Ha-ha," I said, not amused. I crossed my arms and looked up at him in consternation.
"Alright, alright. No need to get pouty. I'm here to tell you the truth."
"What? That you kidnapped me?"
"We prefer the term extracted. Yes, extracted. You were 'embedded' with normies but you're really much more than that, now aren't you?"
"I don't know what your talking about," I lied. I didn't want to seem out of the ordinary. I just wanted to blend in. But still, there were things I couldn't explain. Like how I could beat anyone at wrestling. How I could smell brownies coming out of the oven two houses away, or how I could change a diaper in 30 seconds flat, no matter how soggy it was. The man smiled.
"The name's agent Anderson. And you are the Diapered Bandit. We have some missions for you... the fate of this agency, nay, the world may be at stake, stinker."
"Stinker? What are you? Oh no... don't tell me I..."
"Don't worry. We cleaned you up before you woke up. And now that you're awake, it's time to fill you in before you fill your pampers. Item number one - you are answerable to your direct supervisor, who has a direct line to the president."
"The p-p-president?!"
"Yes. Your mission, whether you like it or not, is to..."
Author's Note: Stay tuned for a CYOA to determine our protagonists crinkly mission!