Published: January 10th 2022, 10:10:53 am
Author's Note: This week I've been absolutely obsessed with this gay furry romance sci-fi visual novel, Ad-Astra, and I just fell in love with the characters. I was inspired to write a playful little alternate intro based on the all too common thought we have when enjoying works of fiction: "But what if... diapers?" The characters and story are not my own. I will, however, take credit for the crinkles!
If you are interested, here is the game website and the developer Patreon, as well as my favorite playthrough on YouTube. Enjoy the story!
*****
"Hello there, can you understand me?"
I stare at the large, robust, furry figure in front of me. A wolf, but on two legs. A... furry?
"Hey, dude. Wrong room," I say, quickly sitting up in bed. "Convention party floor is two floors down!" I look the furry creature up and down. It's a very nice costume, and an attractive one at that, but I'm not in the mood. I purposely chose a room *not* on the party floor for just this reason. The wolf looks confused.
"Convention? Party? Are you referring to your city's triumvirate?"
"Trium- what now? Okay, you are getting way too into this RP thing. Just- get out," I say, standing up and attempting to push the large figure toward the door. I am shocked at what I feel when I try. The creature is warm. Thick, and solid. Not the soft and fluffy fabric I expect, no. This wolf is real. I back away quickly, jerking back my hands as if I'd just touched hot steel.
"What... what are you?"
"I'm Filikos! It's a pleasure to meet you. Would you kindly accompany me back to my ship?"
Whoa... definitely too far. Either someone put something funny in the water, or someone is way to dedicated to their character. Either way, I don't want to be a part of it.
"Nope. No. Nada. Nichts. NO. Get out of my room, felix-whatever your name is. I am not interested."
"But adventure awaits!" he protests, holding up a finger as I push him toward the door, but I'm having none of it. As he stands in the hotel hallway, he raises a finger again, opening his mouth to speak, but I slam the door in his face. I've played too many furry visual novels to fall for this ploy, imaginary or not. Some may call it adventure, but I call it a major pain in the ass. I turn, dusting my hands as I head back toward my bed, hoping to sleep it off. Then, I hear a knock. A light tap at first, which I try to ignore, but one which soon grows more insistent. The knocking becomes louder, and I bury my head under the the pillows, hoping to drown it out. The knocking turns into full on banging and I've just about had enough. Finally, I sit up, wondering why no one has called security yet and walk back to the door, pulling it upen to give him a piece of my mind.
"Now listen here, you..." I'm standing face to face with what looks like a remote control. "Shit..." is all I manage to say before I'm zapped silly by the device.
"Don't worry. You'll enjoy being my pet. I promise!" he chuckles, as he picks me up in his muscular wolven arms.
When the feeling returns to my limbs, I realize I've been zoning out for some unspecified amount of time. As I look around, I realize that my surroundings have changed. As have... my clothes? I'm wearing some sort of short robe-like affair that ends just above the knees.
"This definitely isn't the Maricott Inn... and what the hell am I wearing?" I hear shuffling from outside the square metal space I find myself in and stand up quickly, hearing a strange crinkling as I do so. The door opens and I am distracted by a familiar furry form.
"Waking up already, my little pet? That's good. You recovered quite quickly for a primitive..."
"Hey! Who are you calling primitive, wolf?" I say, scowling.
"The name's Felicus. Pardon the expression," says the wolf, holding up two hands in supplication, "but that's what we call beings who have not yet achieved advanced capabilities such as space flight..."
"Alright" I say, getting more ticked off by the minute. "Enough of this. Where the hell am I, where are my clothes, and what's the big idea calling me pet?"
Felicus chuckles, shaking his head. "A feisty one, eh? We'll soon train you out of that. Your barbarian clothes were replaced by something more appropriate. No pet of mine is going to be caught wearing... pants..." He spits the word out as if it disgusts him to say it. "As for where we are... see for yourself." He steps back from the doorway to reveal what appears to be a cockpit of some sort, with an open view of earth from very, very far above.
At first I am in awe, stumbling a few steps forward to gawk at the image before me, and again hearing that strange crinkling noise. But soon, my senses return to me and I look back at him, crossing my arms.
"Okay, I get it, I get it," I say. "This is all some kind of elaborate prank. Those are screens right? This is some sort of... motion ride, or... VR, or- or something..."
I begin looking around for an exit door. Then, failing to find one, I reach up, expecting to feel some sort of VR headset on my head. The wolf follows me, looking bewildered.
"Surely, you know... of your wolven benefactors?"
My stomach begins to drop as it slowly dawns on me that this isn't a simulation.
"Alright, what's going on. Out with it."
The wolf is frowning, and looking slightly worried.
"Y-you don't know about us?"
"No. And I think you have some explaining to do." I cross my arms and tap my feet.
Suddenly, he barks out, "Computer! Run analysis. When was the last time we visited this planet?"
"Last known visit was 5,000 years ago."
"Five thousand... but that can't be," he says to himself, running to the instrument panel as if looking for some alternative answer in the readouts.
"Listen, Felicus. I don't know what you had in mind but clearly you made some sort of mistake," I say as I begin to strip off my strange clothes. "Now just give me back my clothes and send me back to-" I look up from my tunic and notice that something is conspicuously absent from my view. "Where did the Earth go?"
"It, uh, it looks like the computer has engaged the jump drive and we're headed toward my home planet," he says, holding up a paw and looking almost apologetic.
"W-well turn it around! ... C-can't you?"
He looks slightly embarrassed. "I... I'm afraid that's not possible. The computer is programmed to always have enough fuel to return home and, it looks like that's what we're doing."
To prove his point, he asks the computer to turn around and the computer denies the request citing insufficient fuel supply.
"Oh my god," I say, now in full-blown disaster mode. It takes a few moments for me to get past the initial shock and think about mitigating this clusterfuck we've found ourselves in. I'm pacing, and creating quite a racket as I crinkle with each step. "Okay... okay... so we're in space. This is fine! So we're heading back to some strange planet... so it'll be a little unplanned vacation, and we can come right back home... simple as that, and... and..."
"Uh, about that..." he says, holding up a finger and looking even more sheepish.
"What now?" I say, glaring at him.
"It may be a while before we can return... This... uh... wasn't exactly a routine flight..."
I stop dead and the crinkling stops too. I look him straight in the eye. "How long?" I ask, simply.
"A y-year, maybe?" he says, his voice going up high at that last word. I faint.
I come to in his furry arms. It seems that he caught me before I hit the deck. I can barely hear what he's saying over the blood thundering in my ears. He's holding up a massive ceramic mug to my lips as he cradles me. Something cool, liquid. Water? I gulp. I feel a twinge in my bladder. He insists I drink more, which I do.
"A y-year?" I manage to croak out once the mug is empty.
"I'm sorry!" he says.
"You're going to be," I retort, squirming out of his arms. "Give me back my damned clothes, beast. I pull open my tunic, and that's when I realize where the crinkling was coming from. I'm wearing a damned diaper!
"What the hell?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a fully sentient being like myself. But don't worry, we'll get all this sorted out and get you back home as soon as possible. But, uh, it's best if we just keep the whole sentient thing between us until then."
The twinge returns. I sigh in annoyance and put my thumb and forefinger to the bridge of my nose.
"Oh gods. It just keeps getting better. You're not supposed to be here are you?"
He shakes his head.
"And let me guess. Something terrible will happen if they find out what I really am, won't it?"
He nods.
"And the only way to get back to earth is to play along until we can figure out a way to unfuck this situation. Right?"
His eyebrows go up. "That's right! How did you-"
"I've read enough science fiction to know how this goes." I say, rubbing my temples and trying to absorb this information as my new reality.
"So you'll be my pet?"
I sigh again and nod.
"Yesss!" he says, pumping a fist.
"Just for now," I say, lest he forget. "And don't forget that we're just pretending until we can get me back home."
"Yes, yes, of course, of course, leave it to me," he says, his look of confidence already back.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," I says to myself, as I watch this wolf rejoice over bagging himself a 'pet'. I feel like I've given away a lot here and haven't gotten much in return asside from a vague assurance that he'll get me back home 'somehow'. Meanwhile the twinge in my bladder has not gone away. In fact, I'm almost ready to pee my pants by now.
"Is there at least a bathroom?" I blurt out. He stops and looks at me, confused. "You know, a toilet?" Nothing. "A watercloset? A loo? Waste receptacle?"
It takes him a second to catch on, then he laughs. "Why, you're wearing it!"
"What- you can't be serious?!" His look tells me he is very serious. He places a hand on my shoulder.
"For now you will have to pretend to be my pet, and pets wear diapers." he says with a little smile.
"Really?" I ask. The large wolf crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows, the confident little smirk remaining on his lips. I sigh.
"Fine. If that's what it takes to get back to my home planet, I'll wear the damn diapers."
"That's a good boy," he says, patting my head.
"Hey!" I say, swatting at his hand. "Don't push it!"