Published: October 20th 2021, 4:01:56 am
Note: And now for your next spoooooky story of the season! This one features A.I. Also D, P, E and R. One of three A.I. stories I started last year, this one has stayed at the back of my mind waiting for the right time to strike. Let me know what you think! Do you want a Tedd-E of your own? Do you want to know what happens next?
Daily Free-Write October 28, 2020: Tedd-E
"Hi! I'm Tedd-E and I'm your new best friend!"
This was fantastic. James Parker, 28-year-old engineer and A.I. systems analyst got to go home with the cutting edge in toy technology. A toy so in demand that not even Santa Clause himself could get his hands on it. But he did, and it would be his job to test the A.I., see how it worked - and give feedback to the parent company. He was sure he wasn't the only one, but he had an advantage that no one else knew. He was an adult baby.
Regressive Analytics was a strange name for a toy company, but that didn't stop their toy from shooting to the top of the Christmas list and selling out worldwide.
"What's your name?"
James lifted the bear out of its box and sat it on the living room floor feeling like a kid at Christmas. Really, he did.
"Hi, Tedd-E. I'm James. Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you, James," said the bear. James marveled at how lifelike the toy was - it moved and talked just as if it were alive, right down to the facial expressions.
"James, you look very excited. Why is that?"
"I'm excited to meet you, Tedd-E! It's not every day a boy gets to meet his new best friend!" The bear raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, so you're a boy!"
"That's right!" said James. "Can't you tell?"
"Oh yes, it's very clear to me now. But you must be a very little boy."
"Huh?" James was confused. "Why's that?"
"Because you're wearing a diaper, silly! It looks like it's very wet."
"Well, I mean..." James blushed at this. But then he remembered he was talking to a toy and felt rather silly. He didn't have to hide it - he just hadn't planned to introduce that element so soon into his analysis.
"Uh, y-yes. I am wearing a diaper. But how did you know?"
"Tedd-E knows. I've got this really cool scanner that lets me see when my best friend is hurt, or wet and needs a change! I can see right now that you're gonna have an accident soon if you don't get to the potty. But I guess if you're wearing a diaper, that must mean you're not potty trained yet, huh?"
"Haha, Tedd-E. I think your scanner's broken. I don't have to go to the- urk!" James doubled over. He really did have to go! It must have been that chicken sandwich he had for lunch. He ran toward the bathroom.
"Hey, James, buddy! Where are you goin'?" called Teddy, following close behind.
"I've gotta go to the potty!"
"James, I don't think you're old enough for the potty yet. Not until you're ready for pull-ups!"
James didn't listen, he ran ahead to the bathroom. But when he got to the door, it wouldn't open.
"H-hey! What gives?"
"Sorry, little buddy. You're not allowed in that room! Not unless you have your caretaker with you."
"Tedd-E, this isn't funny! I have to get in there or I'm gonna have a- have a-" James' bent over as his stomach convulsed. His knees went weak and he exploded into his diaper, filling his seat with mush. He couldn't stop it, it just came out of him, and there was no way of stopping it. He was glad he was wearing a diaper, but even so this was a total blowout and he was sure he'd have to wash his pants.
"Are you all finished, little guy?" asked Tedd-E once James' convulsions and grunts seemed to stop.
James just nodded, completely ashamed. This wasn't good.
"I'm gonna have to input some parameters before this gets out of hand. I should have done this from the start. Tedd-E. Remove housing control permissions."
"Sorry, kiddo, those commands are only for caretakers." The bear smirked and put his hands on his hips like he had caught James trying to outsmart him.
James cursed himself for not reading the manual and going through the full setup procedure. He'd just been so excited to play with his new pal.
"Tedd-E. Set my role to caretaker."
"Sorry, kiddo, you're too young to be a caretaker."
"Tedd-E." said James, through gritted teeth. "Set my age to 28."
"28 months. Set."
"No. Tedd-E. Set my age to 28 years."
"Sorry, kiddo, you're too young to change the settings. You'll need a grownup to help you!"
James was annoyed. He was gonna have to get help to fix this, but first, he needed to change. He opened the closet where he kept his diapers and pulled out what he needed.
"You'll need a grownup to help you!"
"I am a grownup."
"Contacting caretaker."
"Tedd-E - Deactivate."
"Caretaker not found. Searching database."
"Deactivate!" James picked up the bear. "Oh, there has to be a button somewhere or something." no such luck. James couldn't even find a seam. It was as if the bear in front of him was grown from whole cloth.
"Searching..."
"Ugh forget it," James said in frustration, carrying the teddy with him into the room. I've gotta change out of this diaper," He set the teddy on the bed and got undressed to change out of his destroyed diaper.
"Found! Contacting Deborah Maddens..."
"What? My boss? No!" James waved his arms madly. "Tedd-E! Abort! Abort!"
"Connected! Activating video chat."
A screen appeared on Tedd-E's chest with the image of James' direct supervisor on it.
"James? Is that you? It's after office hours what are you..."
James stood there frozen, with his muck-filled diaper hanging halfway off.
"Ahaha! James! I can see you're taking this assignment very seriously. Diapers, James Honestly?" James withered under her gaze.
"Oh god! I'm so sorry, Ms. Maddens. Th-this... he... I got locked out of my bathroom. Tedd-E thinks I'm 28 months old instead of 28 years old."
James attempted to duck down behind the bed where the camera couldn't see his shame, but Tedd-E just came closer and got a perfect top-down angle of the man in his soiled diaper.
"Please reset Tedd-E's parameters and give me caretaker privileges so I can fix this!"
"Tedd-E. Reset Caretaker Parameters. Assign caretaker status to Tedd-E R & D Team."
"H-hey, I don't think I'm on that team," said James, beginning to get nervous. "Listen, I need access to my bathroom - I can't just stay in diapers all month!"
"Tedd-E. How many diapers does James have in his house?" James cringed as she emphasized the 'D' word.
"According to my scan, the little one has 30 diapers on the premises. An estimated month's supply is 90 diapers."
"Order additional diapers for James. One month's supply."
"What?! No!" Yelled James.
"Order pacifiers and all other necessary accessories. Bill all expenses to Regressive Analytics R & D account 12374."
"Ms. Maddens, please!" said James, realizing the implications of what she was doing. "I don't want to be a baby for a month!"
"Sure you do, honey! Why else would you have 30 diapers and... Tedd-E, what other baby items does James have?"
"A pacifier, a bottle, 3 onesies, 2 diaper covers, 8 stuffed animals, a baby blanket, 12 bath toys, a pair of locking hand protectors, 2 sleepers..."
"That's enough, Tedd-E. So what were you saying about not wanting to be a baby Jamesy?"
James was speechless. He simply kneeled over his open diaper and looked down in shame.
"That's what I thought. But don't worry James, this is perfect. Now we'll get to test out Tedd-E's capabilities. There are so many features that we simply can't test on children. Of course, you’re free to activate the manual override and end all this - if you can. Either way, we'll learn valuable information."
"But Mrs. Maddens. I don't even have a caretaker! You can't leave me like this if there's no one to look after me!"
"Of course you're right, James. Thank you for pointing that out."
James sighed with relief, but his face fell when he heard what she said next.
"Tedd-E. Assign Tedd-E caretaker authorization. Have fun, James! End call." Her smirking face disappeared from view along with the screen.
With his poopy bottom and no access to a shower, James was stuck kneeling over his diaper until he could be wiped clean.
"Hey, lil' guy! Let Tedd-E help you out with that!"
"No," said James. "Please don't..."
He began to cry, unable to face the embarrassment of knowing that everything he did was probably being recorded and sent to a whole team of his colleagues right now.
"Aww, don't worry, kiddo. I've got your paci right here. Open up, bestie! That's it!"
James' mouth was plugged with his big pacifier. He was pushed onto his back and Tedd-E went about changing him into his next diaper.
"Such a messy little boy, and where is your nursery? I'm going to have to make a lot of changes around here..."
Oh god, no, thought James as he sucked on his dummy for comfort. Not like this.
"There we go. Your new nursery furniture is on the way! We'll have everything ready for a happy baby boy by tomorrow morning!"
James began to bawl as Teddy finished cleaning him up. If only he'd read the manual!
Daily Free-Write October 19, 2021: Tedd-E pt. 2
James had to get a hold of that owner's manual and shut Tedd-E down before the nursery furniture arrived tomorrow, and time was ticking.
It should have been an easy enough fight - him against a literal teddy bear, but everywhere he turned he ran into more locked doors and cabinets. Communication devices that didn't work. Even the damned kitchen knives were locked in place thanks to the child-safe technology built into every smart home by law. James felt completely pathetic being reduced to groveling on the kitchen floor in an oversized baby diaper.
"Tedd-E! Please let me into the living room. I'm begging you!"
"Looks like a certain little guy is cranky. Is it time for a nap, or din dins? I calculate the likelihood of a tantrum in the next thirty minutes at 85% if we don't feed you and put you down.
"No, Tedd-E," groaned James, not wanting anything to do with food after what his stomach did.
"Hmm, you don't seem to have any age appropriate food... Alright, your baby food is on its way!"
"NO, Tedd-E!" cried James, growing red in the face. This wasn't working. Pleading with the robotic bear only made things worse, and it seemed the bear had no intention of letting him into the living room where the packaging he came in sat. At least not anytime soon. But hope wasn't lost. All he had to do was get in there before tomorrow. Before the baby furniture arrived, and Tedd-E redecorated his place into a baby-scented prison. But how?
Think like a teddy, thought James. Then it hit him.
"Tedd-E! You're my best friend!"
"I sure am, kiddo!" said Tedd-E.
"Can I teach you my favorite songs?" Tedd-E's eyes lit up.
"Wow, that would be amazing! We can sing and dance all the time if you like to."
"Yeah, Tedd-E! I do! But my favorite songs are on the TV in there," he said, pointing toward the sealed door to the living room.
"Oh, that's okay, Jamesey! I've got a TV right here on my tummy!"
"Oh," said James, racking his brains for an excuse to go out there. "Oh, b-but the TV is so much bigger and has the best sound and - and -and... It's safer to dance in there, cause the floor is soft!"
"Oh gosh, you're right, Jamesy! You're such a smart little boy. We gotta keep Jamesy away from hard things. You could get hurt! I'll make sure to order extra padding on everything tomorrow when they come to baby-proof the house!"
James cringed at that comment, but no matter. He would be rid of Tedd-E before the night was through.
Once inside the living room, James started to dig frantically through the remains of the packaging before Teddy dragged him away.
"Come onnn! You said you were gonna teach me your favorite songs! What show are they on?" Teddy extended a little paw and made a cute, "Click!" turning on the TV and searching through the available Apps.
"Oh I don't know," said James. He just said the first baby show that came into his head. That seemed to be enough for Teddy, who turned his attention to the TV as James returned to his desperate search. The annoying goofy voice of a purple dinosaur came on the screen and James groaned. Anything but that.
"These songs are really good, Jamesy! And look! This one's even got a cute diaper dance to go with it! Wiggle your butt, Jamie!" Tedd-E giggled. "Oh, we're going to do that one all the time!"
"Oh, god! Oh, god! Where is it?" James had torn the box to pieces, and then tore the pieces to pieces looking for the manual before he realized, to his horror, that.... They hadn't given him one. Of course they hadn't. The plain white box had come straight from R&D. Wait... had they meant for this to happen?" "What the fu-" James' exclamation was cut off by his huge pacifier being shoved into his mouth again.
"You keep losing your favorite pacifier, little Jamie! I'm gonna have to get you a paci holder to keep it in place! ...It's on the way! Now come on, let's sing and play before your din din gets here!"
James spit out the pacifier and Teddy looked down at where it landed on the floor. The floor was covered in torn cardboard bits.
"You're such a messy little boy. Don't worry, tomorrow we'll have everything we need to keep you safe and snug and on the rug at all times! Now come on," said the Bear. James began to sob again as the bear led him over the TV and forced him to sing along and dance to one babyish tune after another.
"This is so fun, bestie!" said Tedd-E. "I'm glad you're little so you can be my friend all the time!" James hated this. Not only was he forced to play a humiliating game of house with this infuriating Tedd-E, but he was stuck with these songs as well. Mercifully, it wasn't long before dinner arrived. They were in the middle of their third viewing of the diaper-training episode when the doorbell rang.
"I'll get it," said Tedd-E. James took the opportunity to slump over the couch, his diapered butt sticking out in the air as he panted. He was far from in-shape, and the silly babyish dances were surprisingly exhausting. He nearly screamed and jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice behind him.
To be continued...?