Published: September 13th 2021, 5:47:57 am
Daily Free-Write July 29, 2021 "Alternative Education Pt. 3"
"Ah! I- I was just going to the... lavatory?" I said, as Mikey the Fresh Start attendant stomped over to us. He was irate.
"You're not supposed to get out of that on your own. You're supposed to wait for a staff member to let you out."
"Whatever do you mean?" asked Amanda, saving me the trouble of explaining myself. "I thought we were just supposed to go to the lavatory when we needed to. We didn't have any trouble doing it before..."
"You what?" asked Mikey.
"Yeah, we just went to the restroom when we needed to. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?" I said, taking Amanda's lead.
"Nobody told us anything different," she said.
"W-well, that's.... hmmm." Mikey inspected the buckles. "Maybe they're defective..." he muttered to himself.
"Hey, man. Now that you're here, I really gotta go. So, is it okay if I... you know."
He looked up from the seatbelt in his hands, clearly still confused. "Yeah... Uh... Good job, I guess. And come right back as soon as you're done."
I looked around. Where else would I go? I didn't have time for Mikey to figure it out, so I just hustled back to the lavatory with Amanda. Once I opened the door, a pair of arms pulled me away toward the little mini-kitchen section just past the lavatories.
"What the-"
"Shhh! Quiet." It was Amanda.
"Oh my god Amanda," I whispered. "You scared the daylights out of me. What's up."
"Something weird is going on here," she said.
"Yeah, no shit," I whispered back. "They're trying to make us have 'accidents' in our clothes and then 'demoting' us to lower and lower grade levels."
"Yes, shit is more like it," she said, pushing her glasses up. "I think it's worse than that. I've done my research. I think those 'in-flight' movies are more than just movies."
"You know what?" I said, remembering how quickly I passed out and how badly I had to go when I woke up. "I think you're right."
"This flight is loaded with traps. The food. The belts. The in-flight entertainment. Just imagine what happens if you take the hot towel?"
I rolled my eyes. This was no time to make jokes. "So what do we do?"
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm pretty attached to my adult brain," she said. "I just wanted the free ride."
"Yeah, me too," I said. "I guess if we wanna play the system, we're going to have to be pretty careful from here on out, aren't we?"
"Yeah," she said. "I've been paying close attention to the Fresh Start employees, and I predict that they're gonna have another load of 'accidents' any minute now. We should hurry back to our seats."
I nodded and followed her, ducking out of the kitchen and making a beeline for my seat, just as all the other passengers who had also been watching that stupid animal show began to wake up. If things sounded bad before when everyone was pissing their pants, this was ten times worse. People were crying. People were screaming. People were freaking out as they filled the back of their pants in the noisiest, smelliest manner possible.
The noise and the smell were terrible, but Mikey and his female counterpart were happily going up and down the aisles as if it were just another day, checking off those who had ended up soiling themselves. "Nope, definitely not ready for potty training. Don't worry, there's plenty of room in the baby class."
"Hot towel?" asked a flight attendant following closely behind. "It's lemon scented." I practically lunged for the thing, hoping for any way to cover up the disgusting odor, but I stopped myself at the last moment as I remembered what Amanda said.
"No- no, I... uh... just remembered, I'm very sensitive to lemon scent. It's an allergy thing."
"Alright," said the attendant, with her big fake smile. She passed us by and went to the next row of passengers. "Hot towel?"
Amanda and I looked at each other. I felt like we had just dodged a bullet. The rest of the flight, I wore my in-flight headphones - unplugged, of course - and pretended to be asleep, while Amanda kept her nose buried in a book. As dubious as I was at the start of the flight, I felt damn lucky I ended up with amanda.
-Written by ChampTehOtter