Published: October 29th 2020, 5:11:48 am
"Hi! I'm Tedd-E and I'm your new best friend!"
This was fantastic. James Parker, 28 year old engineer and A.I. sytems analyst got to go home with the cutting edge in toy technology. A toy so in demand that not even Santa Clause himself could get hit. But he did, and it would be his job to test the A.I., see how it worked - and give feedback to the parent company. He was sure he wasn't the only one, but he had an advantage that no one else knew. He was an adult baby.
Regressive Analytics was a strange name for a toy company, but that didn't stop their toy from shooting to the top of the Christmas list and selling out worldwide.
"What's your name?"
He lifted the bear out of its box and sat it on the living room floor feeling like a kid at christmas. Really he did.
"Hi, Tedd-E. I'm James. Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you, James," said the bear. James marveled at how lifelike the toy was - it moved and talked just as if it were alive, right down to the facial expressions.
"Nice to meet you too! James, you look very excited. Why is that?"
"I'm excited to meet you, Tedd-E! It's not everyday a boy gets to meet his new best friend!"
The bear raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, so you're a boy!"
"That's right!" said James. "Can't you tell?"
"Oh yes, it's very clear to me now. But you must be a very little boy."
"Huh?" James was confused. "What do you mean?"
"Because you're wearing a diaper, silly! It looks like it's very wet."
"Well, I mean..." James blushed at this. But then he remembered he was talking to a toy and felt rather silly. He didn't have to hide it - he just didn't plan to introduce that element so soon into his analysis.
"Uh, y-yes. I am wearing a diaper. But how did you know?"
"Tedd-E knows. I've got this really cool scanner that lets me see when my best friend is hurt, or wet and needs a change! I can see right now that you're gonna have an accident soon if you don't get to the potty. But I guess if you're wearing a diaper, that must mean you're not potty trained yet, huh?"
"Haha, Tedd-E. I think you're scanner's broken. I don't have to go to the- urk!" he doubled over. He really did have to go! It must have been that chicken sandwich he had for lunch. He ran toward the bathroom.
"Hey, James, buddy! Where are you goin?" called teddy, following close behind.
"I've gotta go to the potty!"
"James, I don't think you're old enough for the potty yet. Not until you're ready for pull-ups!"
James didn't listen, he ran ahead to the bathroom. But when he got to the door, it wouldn't open.
"H-hey! What gives?"
"Sorry, little boy. You're not allowed in that room! Not unless you have your caretaker with you."
"Tedd-E, this isn't funny! I have to get in there or I'm gonna have a- have a-" James' bent over as his stomach convulsed. His knees went weak and he exploded into his diaper, filling his seat with mush. He couldn't stop it, it just came out of him, and there was no way of stopping it. He was glad he was wearing a diaper, but even so this was a total blowout and he was sure he'd have to wash his pants.
"Are you all finished, little guy?" asked Tedd-E.
James just nodded.
"I'm gonna have to input some parameters before this gets out of hand. I should have done this from the start. Tedd-E. Remove housing control permissions."
"Sorry, kiddo, those commands are only for caretakers." The bear smirked and put his hands on his hips like he had caught James trying to outsmart him.
James cursed himself for not reading the manual and going through the full setup procedure. He was just so excited to play with his new pal.
"Tedd-E. Set my role to caretaker."
"Sorry, kiddo, you're too young to be a caretaker."
"Tedd-E." said James, though gritted teeth. "Set my age to 28."
"28 months. Set."
"No. Tedd-E. Set my age to 28 years."
"Sorry, kiddo, you're too young to change the settings. You'll need a grownup to help you!"
James was annoyed. He was gonna have to get help to fix this. But first he needed to change. He opened the closet where he kept his diapers and pulled out what he needed.
"You'll need a grownup to help you!"
"I am a grownup."
"Contacting caretaker."
"Tedd-E - Deactivate."
"Caretaker not found. Searching database."
"Deactivate!" He picked upt hte bear. oh there had to be a button somewhere or something.
"Ugh forget it. I've gotta change out of this diaper," he said, carrying the teddy with him into the room. He set the teddy on the bed and got undressed to change.
"Found. Contacting Deborah Maddens."
"What? My boss? No. Tedd-E! Abort! Abort!"
"Connected. Activating video chat."
A screen appeared on Tedd-E's chest with the image of his direct supervisor on it.
"James? Is that you? It's after office hours what are you..."
He stood there frozen, with his diaper half off.
"Ahaha! James! I can see you're taking this assignment very seriously. Diapers, James?"
"Oh god, I'm so sorry. Th-this.. he... I got locked out of my bathroom. He thinks I'm 28 months instead of 28 years old."
He attempted to duck down below the edge of the bed where the camera couldn't see his shame, but Tedd-E just came closer and got a perfect top-down angle of the man in his soiled diaper.
"Please reset Tedd-E's parameters and give me Caretaker privileges' so I can fix this!"
"Tedd-E. Reset Caretaker Parameters. Assign caretaker status to Tedd-E R&D Team."
"H-hey, I don't think I'm on that team," said James. "Listen, I need access to my bathroom - I can't just stay in diapers all month!"
"Tedd-E. How many diapers does James have in his house?"
"According to my scan, the little one has 30 diapers on the premises. An estimated month's supply is 90 diapers."
"Order additional diapers for James. One month's supply."
"What? No!" Yelled james.
"Order pacifiers and all other necessary accessories. Bill to Regressive Analytics R&D account 12374."
"Mrs. Maddens, please!" said James, realizing the implications of what she was doing. "I don't want to be a baby for a month!"
"Sure you do, Jamesy! Why else would you have 30 diapers and... Tedd-E, what other baby items does James have?"
"A pacifier, a bottle, 3 onesies, 2 diaper covers, 8 stuffed animals, a baby blanket, 12 bath toys, a pair of locking hand protectors, 2 sleepers..."
"That's enough, Tedd-E. So what were you saying about not wanting to be a baby James?"
James was speechless. He simply kneeled over his messy open diaper and looked down in shame.
"That's what I thought. But don't worry James, this is perfect. Now we'll get to test out Tedd-E's capabilities. There are simply too many features that we simply can't test on children. Of course, .ou're free to end your baby treatment - if you can. Either way, we'll learn valuable information."
"But Mrs. Maddens. I don't even have a caretaker! You can't leave me like this if there's no one to look after me!"
"Of course you're right, James. Thank you for pointing that out."
James sighed with relief, but his face fell when he heard what she said next.
"Tedd-E. Assign Tedd-E caretaker authorization. Have fun James! End call." Her smirking face disappeared from view along with the screen.
With his poopy bottom, James was stuck kneeling over his diaper until he could be wiped clean.
"Hey, lil guy! Let Tedd-E help you out with that!"
"No," said James. "Please don't..."
He began to cry, unable to face the embarrassment of knowing that everything he did was probably being recorded and sent to a whole team of his colleagues right now.
"Aww, don't worry, kiddo. I've got your paci right here. Open up, bestie! That's it!"
James' mouth was not plugged with his big pacifier. He was pushed onto his back and the Tedd-E went about changing him into his next diaper.
"Such a messy little boy, and where is your nursery? I'm going to have to make a lot of changes around here. There we go. Your new nursery furniture is on the way. We'll have everything ready for a happy baby boy by tomorrow morning!"