Published: September 28th 2022, 8:46:17 pm
hello patrons,
i have an important announcement about my content from october forward as of today, some of it may be a little confusing and i wanted to explain to the best of my ability whats going on behind the scenes. please at least skim this so we can keep this community strong going forward.
i love cosplay. dearly. i love cosplaying, creating, and being an artist. i really value this craft in a way that i do not display as a creator currently. i love how you create something thought of by an imagination into the real world. and i am constantly depressed and frustrated with the direction of what i do online and how little satisfaction it actually brings me.
my intentions online are really misconstrued because i have to focus on certain body type costumes, cosplays that are "easier", or costumes i can create easily. i always stress loudly i am not an nsfw creator, im just a creator who sometimes does nsfw things, and yet because i am so overwhelmed and i know that is what people mostly want to see from me, it's what i prioritize making, over everything else. this is obviously not great for an artist's mental health and wellbeing and is something i've wanted to avoid feeling forever. i don't like just being simped for, i would like to be admired for my crafting skills and it's hard having to do mediocre work without anything i am proud of. people often ask me what my favorite costume i've done so far has been and i have no answer, because i am unhappy with all of them.
cosplaying is... expensive. it's an incredibly expensive artform, costume and garment creation is incredibly pricey. a lot of people do not understand that high quality cosplay creation is my goal and they mistake what i do for sex work or think this is an onlyfans type platform despite the many "warnings" i put that this is not that.
for complete transparency, right now from patreon i earn $600ish dollars at the start of the month. my side hustle brings in around $100 dollars every 3 weeks. i get paid from instagram reels, my gumroad sales, and ko-fi tips, so all together i earn about 800 a month cosplaying. between my medical debt, bills, fees, and everything for my living expenses - i am usually left with less than $50-100 dollars to afford all my costumes for the month. i use a lot of thrifted fabrics, a lot of you buy me supplies off my wishlists that really saves my bacon, and i'm generally just incredibly thrifty.
an example of my problem is cosplays such as my kangel costume (seen here and here). this costume was about $350 dollars to make and create, maybe more - because i haven't finished the wig and shoes yet and havent had the money or the time for that and im still using a bow without the proper clips. this was a $350 dollar investment i havent been able to photograph and profit off of in a way thats helpful to me because i can't afford to get high quality photos of my cosplay taken, so i cannot monetize it yet. i could just photograph it in my very small poorly lit apartment, sure, but i can't sell prints or photo sets of that. it would just be photos of myself - which isn't the point, i didn't make it to take selfies in - i made it to create irl kangel. i used my crippled hands and made this costume with my blood, sweat, and tears. it's precious to me and i want to make art of it.
even stuff you guys havent seen at all yet, like my pochaco content i've been working on behind the scenes for my photobook since february - i recently spent over 120 dollars to 3D print new parts for my 5th version of her headphones, i'm learning how to use a sodering gun as well, just to make them perfect because i LOVE her. i want to thank pochaco for all the joy she's bought me and make a great ode to her. cosplay creation is fanart to me.
this is a fraction of the work im putting into longterm cosplay creation and this is something i can't prioritize showing you guys, literally at all, and it keeps me up at night. there is nothing stopping me from doing that besides living in poverty that keeps me from being able to deliver that kind of content. if i had access to more resources i could do so much better for you.
i live in an incredibly small apartment where i cannot afford to get supplies to make my job easier and cannot fit lighting, tripods, etc in my living area to make the content i want to make. i make my cosplays without a lot of crucial necessities, such as ironing boards, dress forms, pattern paper, etc - things i can get by without but it really limits what i can do. one of the reasons my albedo cosplay is taking so absolutely long is because i need to move furniture all around my apartment to work on her long dress and giant wings. this is really hard for a person who walks with a cane, as you can imagine.
not to be bleak, but most of my day i spend in agony and in tons of pain, have to work on my really small inaccessible work area, and have to delay and delay things because in reality is unrealistic with the current amount of money i make to produce three or more high quality hand made costumes a month. after months and months of this i'm growing incredibly frustrated with myself and my future and one of the reasons my mental health is shit is because i cannot afford to do what i want to do and what i love.
i want to stream more. i want to make youtube videos, i want to make content and photoshoots that are beautiful and alluring and breathtaking and well shot, i want the lewd stuff i do to be impactful and i want to make cuter content that you remember. i want to actually give everyone value to their dollar and make it so you guys know i care about the hard earned money you invest in my community, so i made a really tough decision.
some of you may have gotten notified via email, i have recently had to rework my tiers. this was really upsetting to do and i really really do not like doing this, my ultimate goal is to be able to make enough money i can release all of my content on a pay what you want platform. but realistically, for now, i cannot afford that. when i compare the frequency of my content, how much i want to make, and what i was charging - i always convinced myself that i simply was not worth charging more and it wasn't a thing i should or could do, despite how many people asked for more tiers to support me, i felt bad charging so much money for content i wasn't proud of. and from now on, i'm working incredibly hard to change that.
i'm going to be working on offering tier gift sets for downloads and a lot more exclusive content for tiers, as well as video gifts, mailed gifts, etc in the near near future, like by the end of october. i'm also just going to be producing more and more content now that tiers are limited, i feel a lot more secure releasing something spicier to people i know in a small group who i know value seeing that content rather than throwing it to the void. knowing it's a small group would even make me more comfortable doing topless (still censored) content in the future, but i feel uncomfortable doing that at the prices i was charging previously.
all of the current content for tiers that i have posted so far is going to stay unlockable to those tiers. nsfw content from before september 2022 will not be higher tier blocked for the foreseeable future, i may make a time machine tier later like some creators do but right now that's not really in my cards.
i love you, genuinely. i wake up everyday and look at my patreon before i get out of bed, i remember all of your names, i thank each and every one of you every time i'm feeling down, i genuinely cannot believe i have people who are so incredibly kind they'd invest even a cent into seeing more stuff from me, and i feel really guilty having to charge more. but i want to make more and more.
if you don't want to support a higher tier and only really like nsfw or ecchi content from me, i have tiers that have discount codes for my gumroad where you can purchase nsfw packs in the future when i put them out. i'm still working on gathering my aoi pics, videos, etc to post there - i'm thinking about taking more pictures in her to really round out the pack and make it a big one. i love aoi
this was really long and emotional and i'm sorry for the frustration i could be causing some of you. i promise i'm not trying to scam you, i genuinely just want to be able to make something valuable for once to show you i really do care. it's just very, very, very, very hard right now.
please check out the new tiers and tell me what you honestly think and if you're really unhappy with the changes, i can fix some stuff up and maybe adjust stuff depending on what the community wants. i love you so much and want to make your life better with my content