Published: February 18th 2025, 5:00:12 pm
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: exciting newsss out of America these daysss!
Rowling: we're banning transs women from ssport because of their innate biological advantage
Rowling: we're also banning ciss women from ssport because really we should all be back in the kitchen
Rowling: everyone wins!
Angela Carter: i'm kinda worried about the attacks on womens rights and reproductive health
JK Rowling: wow angela alwaysss focussing on the negative!
Rowling: what about all the good that fasscism is doing for women?
Carter:
Rowling: for example, you won't have to worry about getting divorcced anymore
Rowling: look i'm just ssaying
Rowling: women had all thesse rightss just ssitting around
Rowling: i mean, were we really ussing any of them?
Rowling: they were just kind of getting in the way
Rowling: i know a lot of you probably think it'ss bad that women are lossing rightss
Angela Carter: in fact, i do
Rowling: oh look this feminazi thinksss itss bad that women are lossing rights
Rowling: finally! uss women are back where we belong!
Rowling: in the kitchen!
Rowling: really, we were all getting way too uppity
Rowling: we should have been making ssandwichess
Carter: this seems bad to me
Rowling: maybe YOU should get back in the kitchen
Carter: i am not going back in the kitchen
Rowling: and make me a sandwich
Carter: make you a--!?!
Carter: you don't get to say that!
Rowling: once again liberal strikes again
Carter: why are you cheering this on?? You're a woman too!
Rowling: if you ask me, this is all a sssmall price to pay to get to do a little genocide
Rowling: the tyranny of liberal feminissm is over!
Rowling: now you can get any woman to make you a sssandwich
Lovecraft: really?
Rowling: go ahead! try it!
Lovecraft: i will!
Lovecraft: Sonia, can you make me a sandwich?
Rowling: what the hell
Rowling: not like that!
Rowling: you have to put some manly forccce into it!
Lovecraft: i mean
Lovecraft: Sonia, can you please make me a sandwich?
Rowling: goddamn it no
Rowling: you have to sssay 'WOMAN, GET IN THE KITCHEN, WOMAN, AND MAKE ME A SSSANDWICH'
Lovecraft: ok ok
Lovecraft: this time i think i got it
Lovecraft: WOMAN GET IN THE KICTHEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH
Lovecraft: you know how i like it
Lovecraft: lots of bread
Lovecraft: at least two slices
Lovecraft: both white
Sonia Greene: there's no need to talk like that howard
Greene: you know that i'm always happy to make you a sandwich
Greene: i love to feed my little Howie
Greene: hmmm
Lovecraft: oh yeah i guess you do
Lovecraft: [sweats] it's little weird, actually
Greene: why won't you let me use the funnel howie
Sonia Greene: what do you want between the bread
Lovecraft: what?
HP Lovecraft: alright! now i think i got the hang of this!
Lovecraft: i can get any woman to make me a sandwich!
Barker: you sure about that howard?
Lovecraft: i mean i'm pretty sure
Barker: why don't you ask mary
Lovecraft: alright i will!
Poe: howard no
Poe: clive don't encourage this
Lovecraft: hey woman why don't you go back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich
Mary Shelley: the fuck
Lovecraft: you heard me woman
Shelley:
Shelley: the fuck
Mary Shelley: damn howard i've never seen this side of you
Shelley: so forceful! so rugged!
Lovecraft: really?
Shelley: [shivs lovecraft] too bad your manly charms have no effect on me
Shelley: that ain't the kind of man i like!
Shelley: right percy?
Percy Shelley: yes dear