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"Ichigo! Natsuki's First Birthday" (A Kiribaku Fic)

Published: March 28th 2022, 12:33:06 am

Finally finished the sequel to Natsuki!  Here's some super long fluff for my krbks:

As he got older, Katsuki had these moments where he stopped and thought ‘Huh, this is really my life’.  Sometimes it was thought with frustration: wheeling an intern from a villain fight where nothing went right.  Or staring at the floor of a doctor’s office as he explained his hearing was only going to get worse.  Sometimes it was thought with pride: walking on stage to accept the Rookie of the Year award.  Or sharing a celebratory drink with Eijirou in the office of their new hero agency.  Sometimes it was thought with surprise: hiring Anima (Kouda Kouji, that quiet kid from high school) at his agency.  Or walking on stage to accept the Pro-Hero Rescue Service Award alongside Anima and five literal rats–

And now.

Pink and red streamers draped across the ceiling.  The tables were covered in strawberry-patterned tablecloths.  Snacks laid out in plastic strawberry bowls with a stack of paper plates and cups with little cartoony strawberries and strawberry blossoms printed on them.  Red and pink polka-dotted balloons topped with green paper leaves (that Katsuki made) framed the open back patio doors.  Patio furniture was shoved to the side to frame a red blow-up kiddie pool full of pink, red, and green balls.  And then there was Katsuki, wearing an apron with a strawberry printed on the front while he prepped food.

Because his husband’s Momsquad had suggested he pick a theme for their daughter’s first birthday.  And the theme was strawberries.

“It’s perfect 'cause strawberries are red for me.  And, y’know, ichigo for ‘strawberry’ and ichigou for ‘number one’, wordplay for you, ya big nerd.  And strawberries are small and cute like Natsuki!”  Eijirou had said.  And it sounded like the cutest thing ever and Eijirou seemed so pleased with himself for thinking of it and somehow this was Katsuki’s life now, that these two things mattered to him.  So he agreed.

Now Katsuki stood in his kitchen, wearing his strawberry apron, mixing up a strawberry syrup to go with the desserts at his daughter’s strawberry-themed birthday party, and had a bit of an out of body experience just looking at himself and his life.  His younger self would’ve been so confused, probably a little disgusted, but that little punk was such an asshole, Katsuki felt a weird spiteful glee at the thought of disappointing his past self with his present happiness.

As he put the syrup in the fridge to chill until dessert, he could hear the soft thump of Eijirou coming down the steps… very slowly.

A quick glance at the clock told Katsuki he didn’t have much longer until guests started arriving.  He hastily mixed ingredients and set them to heat on the stove.  As he listened to the ‘thump’…. ‘thump’… from the steps.  He couldn’t help but smile to himself.

Natsuki had mastered stairs (as well as someone with nine inch legs and the coordination of a drunk twelve-year old could master stairs) and loved climbing up and down them by herself.  ‘By herself’ here meaning ‘with one of her dads firmly placed between her and the pull of gravity at all times’.  If Katsuki had stepped out in view of the stairs he would’ve seen her meticulously squatting down on all fours, stretching one chubby leg down to the next step, then the other leg, taking a few little steps back so she had space and then squatting down and repeating the process again.  All the while, Eijirou stood just one step below, bent half over, his legs and hands just behind her ready to catch if she slipped.  Katsuki didn’t see though, he was busy zesting a lemon.

He was just finishing adding a pile of blueberries to the mixture on the stove when Natsuki finally reached the bottom of the steps.

“Allow me, madam,” Eijirou smoozed as he opened the baby gate for her.  Natsuki strut through with all her baby nobility.  Her eyes locked with Katsuki’s and she beamed and toddled toward him as fast as she could… which at this point was still very slow.

Katsuki moved to meet her halfway, but before they reached each other, Natsuki noticed the changes in their living room.  Her head snapped to the side and she screeched to a halt.  For a moment she waved her arms like a startled bird.  Her eyes went wide and her mouth formed a perfect ‘o’ before she turned to Katsuki with a loud: “OHhohohoho!”

“You like it?” Katsuki asked.

Natsuki squealed by way of response, doing the clumsy tap-dance she did when she was excited and nearly toppling over in the process.  Her head bobbed every which way, taking it all in.

“I think she likes it,” Eijirou laughed.

“Red!”  Natsuki yelled.  Or at least that’s what she meant to yell.  She wasn’t a master of words just yet, so what she actually yelled (at the top of her lungs) was: “DEAD!”

“Yup, ‘red’!”  Eijirou beamed.

Natsuki wobbled her way over to the nearest tablecloth and gently touched the strawberries stamped across the material.

“What’s that Natsuki?  Are those strawberries?”  Eijirou crouched next to her.

Katsuki wanted to stay, but the bubbling pot on the stove demanded attention.  But hey, part of the reason they’d picked this house was because the stove was on an island and faced the living room, so he could watch the pot and his daughter at the same time.

In the living room Natsuki pointed to the tablecloth and then to her own shirt.

“That’s right,” Eijirou said, “strawberries!”

Katsuki stirred the blueberry syrup before it could start sticking to the pan, then rummaged through their cabinets for the juicer.  He listened in as Eijirou and Natsuki had a largely one-sided conversation about strawberries.  Occasionally Natsuki would interject with something unintelligible and Eijirou would react like she’d said something deeply thought-provoking.

Katsuki cut the lemon in half and made short work of squeezing the hell out of it.  Juice and zest both went in the syrup.  He threw the wrung out lemon half in the trash, but there was still one half remaining.  This he cut into three even pieces.

On cue, he heard Eijirou say: “Did you show dad your new shirt?”  Followed by the familiar sticky ‘tip, tap’ of Natsuki’s grippy socks as she toddled to the kitchen.

Katsuki knelt down just as she came around the edge of the island, one hand clutching the side for balance.  She dutifully pointed to her shirt.  It was long, halfway between a shirt and a dress, pale yellow, with heart-shaped strawberries printed all over it.  Eijirou had very ambitiously put a sparkly strawberry clip in her hair.  The overall look had Katsuki thinking, with feeling:  'Holy shit.  I’m really a parent, aren’t I?'

“You got strawberries on your shirt?”  He asked.

Natsuki blinked and then pointed at the strawberry on Katsuki’s apron.

“Yeah, I got a strawberry on me too,” Katsuki grinned as his daughter reached up and touched the strawberry patch on his front.  Fuck, he was so soft now.

Natsuki let out a happy huff as he picked her up and set her on the counter.  She eagerly pointed to the lemon wedges.  Now, giving your baby a lemon wedge to surprise the hell out of them was something he and Eijirou had joked about doing, but ultimately never did because they felt too guilty about it.  Her uncles Denki and Hanta, though?  Fucking heartless animals with no shame.  It was after the two had babysat that they found out she was immune to sour stuff.

Natsuki took the offered lemon wedge and popped it in her mouth to suck on.  She turned expectantly to Eijirou, who did not disappoint: Ei was terrible with sour stuff.  While Ei made all kinds of goofy faces and Natsuki cackled in response, Katsuki shoved the wedge between his teeth and watched them.  Just… enjoying the bizarity that had become his life.

He waited patiently until Natsuki turned to look at him.  He looked right back, his gaze impassive until he suddenly grinned, revealing the bright yellow rind wedged over his teeth.

Natsuki was so surprised and amused by this, she squawked like a hysterical pterodactyl.

Katsuki was so surprised and amused by this, he nearly choked on lemon juice.

Eijirou was so surprised and amused by this, he actually did choke on lemon juice.

Natsuki was wheezing with laughter, Eijirou was just wheezing, and Katsuki was laughing.  These really were his favorite people, huh?

Of course, even while he laughed at Ei, he got him a glass of water and kissed his ruddy cheeks.  “Too bad we weren’t filming, huh?”  He muttered.

“No worries,” Eijirou replied, his voice like wet gravel.  He cleared his throat.  “I’ll be hearing that noise she made in both my dreams and nightmares for years to come.”

Natsuki gurgled proudly and licked her lemon wedge.

The doorbell rang.

Ei mock-gasped.  “Who’s that?”

Natsuki’s eyebrows rose.

Ei scooped her off the counter.  “Let’s go see who it is!”

“I’m gonna pick up,” Katsuki said.  It’d been his goal to have everything put away before guests started coming, but it was probably just Ochako and Frog-face.  They’d seen his dirty dishes before.  He put the blueberry syrup in the refrigerator to chill until dessert. From the entryway he made out female voices and Eijirou’s familiar bustle.  He waited until he’d set all the dirty dishes in the washer and dried his hands before turning up his hearing aids.  Because of this, he only had a moment’s warning that the voices did not belong to Ochako or Frog-face.  Eijirou lead a group of women Katsuki didn’t know out of the genkan.  Each one of them had a baby on her hip; Eijirou’s Momsquad.

Eijirou had told him the night before that he didn’t need to be nervous about meeting Eijirou’s friends.  At the time, Katsuki had just been proud of himself for not immediately barking a denial (because therapy was working apparently).  He’d acknowledged that he was nervous and that that was okay and did not make him weak.  When he broke it down, he was nervous because he needed to make a good first impression, but he was more of a ‘not bad once you get to know him’ kind of guy.  Eijirou had half-jokingly said ‘they’re more scared of you than you are of them!’  and maybe that’d be true if there was only one of them.  But there were four and they’d unexpectedly all arrived at once.  Katsuki was outnumbered.

The women arranged their diaper bags on the door bench with a near practiced synchronization.  The first to set hers down turned to survey the room, her eyes rolling over Katsuki still cleaning in the kitchen.

It was funny.  People would see him in his civilian clothes and there’d be a flash of recognition in their eyes for just a second where they thought: that looks like Dynamight! Then just as quick as it came, it would disappear as they realized (incorrectly) that it wasn’t him.  He was well used to it.  After all the bullshit of people knowing who he was in high school, he actually preferred it.  He just wasn’t used to it happening in his own home.

The woman offered him a polite smile, then looked back to Eijirou like she was waiting for him to introduce them to this random stranger.

Katsuki pulled off his apron, draping it over his arm as he approached.

Ei turned to offer him a wide smile.  “Everyone, this is Katsuki!”

The four women had varying success at masking their ‘Oh shit, this is Dynamight?’ reactions.

‘Here we go,’ said a weary voice in the back of his mind.  He got it.  He carried himself differently when he was in uniform–partly out of attitude, partly because heavy knee pads and bigass gauntlets will affect the way you stand and walk.  As Dynamight, he wore what a lot of people thought were gages, but were actually earrings made to look that way…. And actually they weren’t even earrings in the decorative sense–they were disguised hearing aids.  In his civvies he just wore regular aids.  He swapped out raccoon-eye levels of eyeshadow that made his eyes stand out for a pair of glasses that partially hid them.  Top it off with the charcoal sweater with strawberries printed on the chest and the pink apron slung over his arm and he looked about as far from Dynamight as most people would expect.

The first woman to recover stepped forward and bowed.  “Nice to meet you, Kirishima-san, my name is Masuda Himari, this is my daughter Ana-chan.”

Ah.  The Alpha Mom.  She didn’t look very alpha-y with her short, soft frame, but with a hank of her gently curled hair pulled out it’s clip and a baby hand-shaped damp spot on her floral-print shirt, she looked very much like a mom.

Next up stepped a thin woman.  Even before she introduced herself as Hara (and her baby Jiro), Katsuki knew who she was.  Ei had told him she had great posture and an expensive stroller and this woman’s bow looked like she’d learned it in finishing school.  Of course, he hadn’t seen her stroller yet, but she was wearing a fucking Gucci blouse.

Next up was Inoue, who Eijirou had forgot to mention was taller than Katsuki.  She was also the only one with a visible quirk–her ears were covered in dusty purple feathers, a trait she shared with her baby.  When she bowed, he squirmed nearly out of her arms and she wound up holding him like a football under her arm as she finished her introduction.

The last woman wore a baby doll blouse under an oversized cardigan and didn’t react when her baby yanked on a fistful of her dark, pink-tinted hair.  Katsuki could barely hear her introduction, but process of elimination said this was the Quiet One, Tanaka.

Katsuki had heard from multiple sources, including his own loving husband, that when he faked a smile it was unsettling.  So he offered the usual ‘nice to meet you, thank you for looking after my family’ bit with a neutral face.  Eijirou smiled enough for the both of them anyway.

If they expected any more of Katsuki he’d never know as Eijirou jumped in with a quick:  “I can take those gifts if you guys want to grab something to eat!”  He leaned toward Katsuki, tipping Natsuki toward him in a wordless request.

Katsuki took their daughter and headed back to the kitchen to put up his apron while Eijirou continued playing host.  As he coaxed Natsuki into surrendering the lemon wedge and washed her hands, he took a moment to collect himself.

It felt… weird having people over that he didn’t know.  He wasn’t friends with all of Eijirou’s friends (because Eijirou was friends with everyone) but knowing his husband since high school and running an agency together meant they mostly interacted with all the same people.  Katsuki had never, ever been shy… but he’d also never really cared if people liked him or not.

He took a deep grounding breath.  He could do this.  He could be a delightful host and give Natsuki a kickass birthday party.

When he rejoined the group he found them taking turns looking after the kids, going to grab snacks, and sitting to eat.  It was clearly a practiced routine, though where they’d practiced it, Katsuki didn’t know.  Eijirou gave him the highlights, but never described the ins and outs of hanging out with the moms.

Ei sat in the middle of the group, holding two plates.  He held one up.   “I made a plate for you, babe!  Trade ya!”

Katsuki swapped his daughter for food.  A process that annoyed her right up until Ei offered her a bit of hambagu.  This was when she realized the plate Ei was holding had all her (less messy) favorites.  Plus some extra.  Ei’s plate doubled as his and Natsuki’s so he’d packed on the protein.

Katsuki sat between his husband and the Quiet One, who looked very much like she was regretting her seat choice.  He ignored her, noting that Eijirou had taken the time to sprinkle some seven spice on his plate.  Of course, then he noticed he was the only one not sharing his plate.

It was silly to feel weird over such a thing.  There wasn’t an extra baby for him to feed.  He’d just finish his food first and then help them clean up.  A delightful host.  That was him.

“Ah, Kirishima, this karaage is delicious!” The Alpha Mom said, sounding a little surprised.

Eijirou beamed.  “Katsuki made it!”

“Ah, that’s right.  I forgot you mentioned he was good at cooking.”

Katsuki paused with a bite of food halfway to his mouth as she turned her gaze on him.  He could just imagine what she was thinking: when Eijirou told her that, she hadn’t known ‘Katsuki’ was Dynamight.  She at least looked away to hide her thoughts, the others were far less subtle.  Katsuki bristled under their surprised scrutiny, then immediately tried to smooth that back down.  He didn’t react like that any more… not as Katsuki anyway.

He forced himself to shrug.  “If I like doing something I make sure I’m good at it,” he said.  “I like to cook.”  He returned to his plate; the cue for all the others to do the same.

There was a half second of awkward silence, then:

“I boiled the edamame though!”  Eijirou bragged while Natsuki shoved one of the edamame halves in her mouth.

The moment broke as the women all laughed and complimented him on his ‘hard work’.

Katuski finished his plate in record time and went to throw it away while the conversation picked up around him.  The moms praised their decorations while he fetched a box of wet-wipes for the group.

“I did the streamers!” Eijirou explained, “But Katsuki did the balloons!”  He pointed to the red and pink strawberry balloon arch framing their patio doors right as Katsuki came walking back through.  He glanced away.  Not embarrassed, but not sure what to do with their attention.

“Eh?  Wow, it looks so professional!”  Again with the surprise.

“Katsuki’s multi-talented!  He thought up the ball pit too.”

Katsuki set the box of wet-wipes on the side table near Ei and went back to his seat.

“Really?”  Gucci Mama’s eyes followed as he went.

“Oh yeah!  I guess he saw it on Pinterest?”  Eijirou turned to him.

“Instagram,” he said gruffly.

“Dynamight has an Instagram?”  Gucci Mama quirked an eyebrow.  Katsuki suddenly remembered that Eijirou had once (fondly) described this woman as ‘secretly a huge bitch’.  He’d also said Katsuki would like her, and he guessed he did appreciate that she wasn’t beating around the bush pretending she was surprised that Eijirou’s husband had an Instagram when it was really Dynamight she was surprised over.

“I do,” Katsuki clarified.  “For cooking stuff.” He allowed a small Dynamight sneer to show through.  “Dynamight would never have an Instagram.”  Feather Ears chuckled a little nervously.  The Dynamight sneer had that effect on people.

Gucci Mama hummed.  “You’re not quite what I expected.”

Well, Katsuki just didn’t know how to answer that.

“Ah, what Hara means is that Kirishima only ever has nice things to say about you,” the Alpha Mom said.

“Really?” Katsuki quirked an eyebrow.

“Even the less flattering things he’s told us, he frames as charm points,” Gucci explained.

“Ah, that makes more sense.”

Eijirou mugged at him.

Gucci Mama’s kid slid off her lap, apparently done with eating for now.  She set her plate aside and grabbed one of the wipes.  “I was thinking we should get all of our ‘We’re so surprised Dynamight is like this’ out of our systems so Kirishima-san–” she nodded toward Katsuki. “--can relax.” Her kid squirmed as Gucci cleaned his face and hands, but calmed when she set him down in the ball pit.  “I’ll start: I’m surprised Dynamight is such a family man.”

The Alpha Mom chuckled a little nervously as she cleaned up her own wrigging child.  “I’m surprised he hasn’t lost his temper with you…”  Gucci Mama didn’t even respond to this, instead helping the Alpha Mom’s baby into the ball pit as well.

“I’m surprised he’s so cute!” Feather Ears said, hoisting her kid up in a football carry only to gently deposit him next to the others. “Even though that’s how Eijirou always described him!”

“He’s actually kind of quiet,” the Quiet One said quietly.

Katsuki was trying his damndest to be a better person, so instead of blowing up at all this, he watched Eijirou, gauging if he should be offended.  Eijirou didn’t look offended, he actually looked amused.  “You know I thought sort of the same thing once!”  He said.

“Hah?”

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about,” Eijirou smiled at him.  “At USJ!”  He turned back to his friends.  “Sorry, I fibbed to you guys when I said I fell for Katsuki on the first day of school–” He said what now? “--actually I thought he was cool, but I also thought ‘This guy has rabies!’.  It wasn’t until USJ that I saw how cool and calm and smart and brave he could be!  And he’s only gotten cooler and calmer and smarter and braver!”

A lesser man would’ve blushed, but Katsuki had been putting up with Eijirou’s excessive praise for years now and he knew how to internally preen while being outwardly neutral.

“Ah Kirishima, I wish my husband talked about me the way you talk about yours!”  The Alpha Mom said wistfully.

“Sorry, I can’t fix that!” Eijirou replied cheerfully as Feather Ears crowed around a mouthful of food: “Make your man treat you better!”.  “But I can give you compliments if you like!”  Eijirou held up a finger and started ticking off traits: “You’re super reliable and always prepared for anything and I admire your skills as a parent.”

“Eh?”  The Alpha Mom’s cheeks went pink.

“You give good advice!  You know when to be kind and when to give tough love.”

“Eh?!”

“You’re patient.  You’re smart.  And it was super manly that you stood up for Tanaka against Team Toxic Mom that time–”

“Okay!  Thank you!  I’m alright now!”  She sputtered, face beet-red.  The others all tittered as Eijirou gave a cheerful, "Let me know if you need more!".  The Alpha Mom’s eyes flickered around in her embarrassment, accidentally locking eyes with Katsuki.  She widened her eyes slightly like ‘Isn’t he overwhelmingly nice?’,  Katsuki only offered her a wolfish grin in reply.

He guessed Gucci Mama had been right.  He did feel more relaxed.  The babies finished their migration to the ball pit and the conversation moved on around them.  Katsuki settled into his usual party role: a quiet spectator.

Suddenly, the front door opened and a big commotion came from the genkan.  It could only be those idiots who called themselves the Bakusquad… plus the Bakusquad’s satellite member, Kyouka and minus their other satellite member, Hitoshi (who was recovering (REM-wise) from an all-night mission).

“Pardon the intrusion!” None of the squad were so polite.  Kyouka must have brought Yaoyorozu.

Katsuki heard the familiar ‘clip, clop’ of Mina kicking off her heels before she swept into view.  She was wearing her ‘incognito celebrity’ outfit–a sunhat, over-large sunglasses, and a denim jacket to hide her skin.  All of these she flung off like an actress doing an on-stage costume change.  “Where’s the birthday girl?!”

Natsuki lifted her head, not understanding the words, but recognizing the voice of her favorite babysitter.  She let out a booming: “HI!”

“Hi!”  Mina bounced over.

“HI!” Natsuki said again.

“Hi!”  Mina knelt beside the ball pit to press a kiss to Natsuki’s cheek.

“Hi!” Feather Ear Junior (Katsuki didn’t remember Inoue’s kid’s name) joined in.

“Hi!” Mina said back brightly.

“Hi!”

“Hi!”

“Hi!”

And so on.

The babies all together hardly knew any words, but they all knew ‘hi’ and by damn they were going to use it.  Luckily the squad was used to Natsuki’s excessive greetings and rolled with it.  Mina certainly didn’t mind one fucking bit and just kept cheerfully saying it right back.

Katsuki looked back at the Momsquad and blinked.  All four of them looked like deer in headlights… Or perhaps like four normal-ass housewives with paper plates on their laps suddenly faced with five celebrities.

Katsuki looked back at his friends, unimpressed.  He tried to look at them as if he didn’t know them.  Were they really so intimidating?

He should’ve guessed it right when she’d complimented their strawberry-shaped invitations and Ei told her it was their theme: but they’d all dressed to match and he suspected it was Mina’s fault.  She was wearing a strawberry-print romper with dark thigh-high socks.   She’d baby-proofed her look by foregoing her usual earrings and putting knobs on the tips of her horns.  Today’s knobs were shaped like little strawberries–which he suspected Yaoyorozu had a hand in.  Overall her look was surprisingly tasteful, but then again, Katsuki was wearing a knit sweater and Ei’s outfit had color coordination so it was clearly a special occasion.

Kyouka and Yaoyorozu entered more sedately, wearing matching dresses because they were trying to beat Ochako and Frog-face for the most wholesome lesbian award.  Pony-tail was wearing THE strawberry dress, her long dark hair in a half braid so she could maximize her Disney Princess appeal.  Kyouka was wearing the black version of the strawberry dress–but she’d punked it up with a leather jacket and some steel jewelry.

Denki followed behind them.  He was wearing a black shirt over pink joggers–strawberries stamped on the knees.  His distinctive bangs were clipped back, showing off the scar on his forehead and a shiny new pair of glasses that–unlike Katsuki–he didn’t actually need.

Hanta finished putting Mina’s stuff on the door bench and followed the rest of them.  Mina had gotten to him too.  His over-large sweater had a chocolate-dipped strawberry on the breast with something written in French beneath it.  Chocolate-brown harem pants completed the look.

They looked pretty normal to Katsuki’s eyes… definitely dressed a little more flashy, but that could be chalked up to the fact they didn’t have little kids with sticky hands constantly grabbing their clothes… plus they were just extra as fuck.

Katsuki watched as Eijirou greeted them and the Quiet One stared at him like she’d only just realized he was also a famous celebrity.

Katsuki snorted, leaned back in his chair and watched the show.

Eijirou made rapid-fire introductions and pointed their friends toward the gift table and the snacks.

“Katsuki’s cooking?”  Mina asked.

“Yup!”  Eijirou replied, “Except the edamame, I made that!”

“We’ll steer clear,” Hanta said cheerfully.

“Mean!”

Natsuki whined as Mina left to make up her plate.

“She’ll be right back,” Eijirou said sweetly.

Kyouka and Yaoyorozu were the first to finish at the snack table and came back to face the dilemma of where to sit when they didn’t know any of the people with open seats next to them.

Katsuki gestured to the spot on the other side of the Quiet One.  “Oi Ears, sit here.  This is Tanaka.  Ei says she’s like the pastel version of you.”

“Eh?”  The Quiet One flushed.

Kyouka laughed as she sat beside her.  “Really Ei?”

“They don’t look much alike,” Yaoyorozu said like it was an apology.

“It’s not your appearance!”  Ei said hurriedly.  “Well, except the pastel part.”

Kyouka and the Quiet One looked at each other’s outfits; one completely black and the other completely pastel.

“It’s more like you’re both quiet but tough!”

“You think I’m tough?”  The two women said at the same time.

The Quiet One looked at Kyouka like she was crazy.  “Aren’t you… um… I mean… aren’t you a pro-hero?”

Kyouka flushed as Yaoyorozu replied: “Aren’t you a mother?”

Katsuki snorted as the Quiet One sputtered.  He looked around and saw that Mina had parked herself on the outdoor rug within reach of Natsuki, though she was more focused on talking to Ei and the Alpha Mom.

“So Kirishima had a goth phase, huh?”

“Oh yeah!  Middle school Ei was a whole other animal!  Then he buffed up and dyed his hair and got super gay.”

“You’re gonna give her the wrong impression!”  Eijirou squawked.

“Sorry, when I say ‘super gay’ I don’t mean like ‘stereotypically effiminate’.  I mean ‘obsessed with boys’.”

“You’re still gonna give her the wrong impression!”

“Sorry, when I say ‘obsessed with boys’ I don’t mean like ‘thought about boys all the time’. I mean ‘thought about Katsuki all the time’.”

Ei looked properly sheepish while the Alpha Mom laughed behind her hand.

Next to Mina on the ground, Hanta was engaged in conversation with Feather-Ears.  They were talking about the Red Riot meme she’d sent Eijirou that Hanta had framed… They’d actually moved that off the foyer table to make room for presents, but it was sitting up on their dresser: a picture of Red Riot catching a car a villain had thrown, straining against the weight of it, his teeth grit and all his muscles tensed and just a little bit glistening.  The car’s bumper was labeled ‘Me trying to touch Red Riot’s abs’.

Beside Feather-Ears, Gucci Mama was talking with Denki.  Kind of an unlikely duo…

“I didn’t marry rich just to not wear designer clothing,” she said.

“I think that’s what they call ‘Queen Shit’.”

Gucci Mama tittered like the rich, polite lady that she was while Denki guffawed like the gremlin he was.

Huh.  They’d all gotten comfortable with each other pretty quick.  Katsuki guessed he shouldn’t have been surprised.  The Bakusquad was so contagiously friendly that they’d infected him, hadn’t they?

He looked down into the ballpit.  Mina had a gentle grip on Natsuki’s hand and was swinging it idly while she talked, but this was not enough to entertain Natsuki and she was starting to pout at being ignored.  Being only a year old meant her pouting would only be quiet for a few seconds longer.  Katsuki sank down onto the rug.  Mina’s head tilted his way, but when she saw he was focused on Natsuki, she let him be.

The other babies were trying their hardest to throw the balls at each other, but their hand-eye coordination was all varying levels of bad.  The oldest one, Gucci Mama’s kid, could kind of throw, but he kept letting the ball go too late so it clattered down instead of going far.

Katsuki dug through his pockets and drew a pair of thin quirk gloves.  Natsuki was resistant to the nitroglycerin on his palms, but the other babies weren’t.  Gloves firmly in place, he grabbed up one of the balls and tried to show Natsuki how it was done.  He only had to toss a few before Natsuki decided she wanted to try it too.

As the youngest of the group, her throwing efforts were the least impressive… but the cutest.  Katsuki watched with a soft smile as she picked up a ball, shook it, and dropped it.  She pouted, aware the ball wasn’t working like it should.  Squirming to sit up with her feet tucked under her, she reached for a different one.  Her fingers skipped clumsily over the varied surfaces before she was able to grab one up.  She lifted the ball back over her head.  Maybe she had the right idea, but she did not have the skills to follow through; she tipped over backwards.

Sitting down in a blow-up kiddie pool wasn’t too far or hard a fall, but every spill was a potential for tears.

“You’re alright,” Katsuki said, because sometimes just saying so magically made it true.

Evidently Natsuki agreed.  She wiggled around in the balls until she could roll onto her belly and push up onto all fours.  She locked eyes with Katsuki and smiled triumphantly.

He grinned back.  “Try again.”

“Gee!”  Natsuki replied.  She plopped herself back on her butt and reached for a new ball.  This time instead of throwing it she tried biting it.

Katsuki snorted.  “Interesting technique,” he praised.

Ding-dong!

“Hi?”  Natsuki shouted at the door.

Katsuki glanced at Eijirou, to ask him to go get it or offer to do so himself, he hadn’t decided.  It wound up being mute, the door opened and whoever it was came walking right in.

Katsuki turned before he could catch the warning in Eijirou’s eyes, so he was unprepared to see his parents coming through the genkan.  He must have made a face, because his mom’s first face-to-face words to him in months were: “Eh, Katsuki!  Could you look less happy to see us?!”

“I was just surprised!”  He snapped loudly.  He carefully schooled his expression into something more neutral and spoke in a lower tone: “Thought you said your flight got canceled?”

“It was,” his father said as they approached, “we caught a different flight.”

“Spent seven hours in an airport in Dehli!”  His mom added.  She knelt down by the pool and swept Natsuki up.  “But it was worth it for this little one!”  She pressed a big kiss on Natuski’s cheek, squishing her little face.  Then she turned to Katsuki and barked out: “So be grateful!”

Nice to see he could always rely on his mother’s double standards.  Eijirou moved in to make introductions while Katsuki nursed a vein twitching in his forehead.

To say Katsuki and his mom had a complicated relationship didn’t quite cover it.  On the one hand, Katsuki felt like she understood him better than anyone, and yet she didn't get him at all.  She was beyond proud of him, but also she was never satisfied.  No one could make him feel higher (except Eijirou) and also no one could make him feel lower.  All this culminated in the final contradiction: that Katsuki loved her and would do anything for her, but also kind of hated being around her.  So he’d invited her to Natsuki’s party because she was his mother and Natsuki’s grandmother and he wanted her there, but he was also relieved when she’d canceled.

“Everyone, these are Katsuki’s parents, Bakugou Masaru and Mitsuki!”  Eijirou finished his introductions.  “They’ve been in France for the past six months.”

“Oh my, such a long trip!”  The Alpha Mom said politely.  “You must have done a lot of relaxing!”

“It was more of a working vacation, but we got some relaxing in too,” his mother offered her winning smile.  “We wanted to start doing the things we could never do when we had a kid, like taking really long vacations!  But then our kid went and decided to make another kid!”

There was a pause, where he could feel Eijirou’s Momsquad searching for how to react to a barb meant for him.

He caught Mina and Hanta making eyes at each other before Hanta turned and said cheerfully.  “Hi Aunt Mitsuki long-time no-see!”  An innocuous greeting in high school, now that he was grown it was the equivalent of falling on a grenade.

“Ah!  Sero!  Ashido! When are you going to get married already?”

Cellophane and Pinky were true heroes.

Katsuki took advantage of the distraction and beat a (tactical) retreat to the kitchen.  He always had to mentally prepare himself for visits with his parents, but he’d let his guard down when he thought they weren’t coming.  As he started a pot of coffee and dug for mugs he took the moment to breathe and mentally fortify himself.  He even turned down his hearing aids just so he could have a bit of quiet time.

He was Kirishima Katsuki.  The Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight.  He could handle anything.  He did nothing half-assed and could accomplish any goal.  He could tolerate his mom, be a fucking delightful host, and give Natsuki a kickass first birthday.

By the time the coffee was ready, he felt a little more centered.  He turned his aids back up, poured two mugs, and took them out to the patio like he was headed for war with his gauntlets.

His father was sitting closest to the open doorway, smiling benignly as he watched Natsuki play.  Gross, did Katsuki look that sappy?  He looked at Natsuki and felt his expression soften to see her on her belly, laughing breathlessly as she wiggled through the balls like the world’s clumsiest ball pit shark.

He watched her a moment before he offered one of the coffees to his dad.  “Here, Old Man.”

“Thank you.” His dad took a long sip and sagged in his chair.  “Ah, I needed this!  Delhi is between Paris and Tokyo but it is not on the way.  We’ve been traveling more than 20 hours!”  He took another drink and turned back to watch Natsuki play.  “I’m glad we made it though!”

“Yeah, ‘m glad you made it too.”  Katsuki found he half meant it.  But… only half.  He still had to give the hag her coffee.

She and the others had been yammering on through the whole exchange with his dad, but he’d been pointedly ignoring her.  Now as he reentered the fray, Eijirou sent him a slightly strained smile.

“Yeah haha,” Feather Ears laughed the laugh of someone who wasn’t really comfortable with the current topic.  “I hadn’t really thought about whether or not the Explosion Murder God would be good dad material.”  Ah, so his mom had brought them back to the ‘shocked Dynamight doesn’t eat puppies’ bullshit.

“Ugh,” the hag groaned. “Such an awful name.”

“You mean ‘awesome’,” Katsuki sneered then immediately kicked himself.  Tolerate his mom.  Be a delightful host.  Give Natsuki a kickass birthday.  “I stand by it.  Here.”

His mother brightened as she accepted the offered coffee.  She took a sip.  Smiled.  And asked: “Did you not get some for everyone?”

He’d been expecting the comment so the jab didn’t land.  “You've been to three countries today so you get first priority.  There’s more coffee if anyone wants some.”  He said the second part a little louder, turning to the group.

“I’m good!” Hanta replied first, sparking a cascade of polite rejections until Denki stuck his hand in the air and said, “Me!  Hit me up, bro!”

“Half coffee, half sugar?”

“Please and thank you!”

“You disgust me.”  Ah. That wasn’t a delightful host thing to say was it?  But at least the Bakusquad was laughing about it.

He didn’t turn his hearing aids down this time, so he could hear the group’s discussion as he went to get Denki his coffee.

“You know,” the Quiet One said, “I actually once read this article about which heroes people thought would be good father material and Red Riot was the first on the list.”

“Aw, jeez!”  He didn’t need to look up from pouring Denki’s coffee to know Eijirou was blushing.

“Ah, I remember that list!”  Mina chimed.  “Hanta was number eight.”

“Eh?!”

“Apparently you have a strong ‘aura of reliability’.”

“Dynamight probably didn’t make the list, I’m guessing?”  The hag asked.

“Ah… no.”

“I’m curious, was Deku on the list?”  Of course she would ask that.

“Um.” Mina wisely did not respond.

The Quiet One answer with innocent cheerfulness: “Oh, yes, he was second place.”

Katsuki stamped down a knee-jerk flash of rage.  It didn’t fucking matter if people thought Deku was better ‘father material’ than him because he wasn’t a father and Katsuki was… therefore Katsuki was the better father.

He delivered Denki’s coffee with one half his mind snarling ‘It's. Not. A. Competition.’ while the other half shrieked ‘It is because I’m winning!’  So he wasn’t really prepared for outside assault when his mom spoke again: “Apparently the government didn’t think he was father material either.  That’s why they had to go with a surrogate.”

Katsuki almost splashed coffee all down Denki’s front.  Denki didn’t seem to mind though, he was too busy screaming ‘what the fuck’ through his eyes.

“I mean they also rejected one of the world’s most wholesome lesbian couples so!”  Hanta cut in quickly, his voice a little high.

“Plus if things had gone differently we wouldn’t have gotten sweet little Natsuki!”  Mina chimed.

“So Bakugou-san, was there anything in particular that drew you to France?”  Gucci Mama changed the subject so swiftly she might as well have just called his mom out for misstepping.

Thankfully his mom wasn’t a social idiot; she acknowledged her little social blunder by allowing the subject to change without comment.  Whether she saw the comment as something that made the other guests uncomfortable or something that actually really hurt him and Ei, he didn’t know.

Fuck. Ei. Katsuki wanted to turn and see how Eijirou was reacting but he also couldn’t look at him.  He never could when this subject came up.

His mom wasn’t just being shitty when she said it was his fault.  The agency had been pretty clear when they’d rejected their adoption application.  Apparently it didn’t matter that Red Riot won ‘best father material’ when Dynamight was also part of the picture.  “We don’t need another Endeavor,'' the agent had said, throwing salt in the wound.

And it had been a wound.  It was by far the biggest scar on his and Eijirou’s relationship.  Ei pretended it wasn’t but… it was the most heartbreaking thing that had ever happened to him.  There was no way he couldn’t blame Katsuki.

Katsuki started at a soft touch to his hand.  He looked down with surprise to see Yaoyorozu.  She offered a small smile.  “I changed my mind,” she said.  “May I have a cup of coffee as well?”

Once again, Yaoyorozu did not rescue him, but instead offered him the most convenient escape route.

Gucci continued her chat with his mom, while Alpha Mom piped up.  “You know, the longer I smell it, the more I want some too.”

Katsuki had only escaped about a half a step and glanced back.  But the Alpha was looking pointedly at Eijirou.  “You know how I take my coffee, right?”

“Oh yeah!”  Eijirou’s reply was just as sunny as ever, but Katsuki knew it was fake.  He could always tell.  “I’ll give Katsuki a hand!  Oh, also we’ll be opening gifts really soon!”  He seemed cheerful enough as he separated from the group, but as soon as they were all behind him, he offered Katsuki a grimace.

Now Katsuki felt annoyed with their open-concept kitchen.  The most they could manage for privacy was to turn and face the counter where the coffee pot sat.

Katsuki cleared his throat.  “I’m sorry,” he rasped.  ‘Sorry’ didn’t cover the huge pile of dirty laundry his mom had just dragged out in front of everyone.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” Ei said automatically, pulling two mugs down from the cupboard.

It kind of was Katsuki’s fault though.

Ei set the mugs down in front of Katsuki.  “You okay?”

“Yeah…”  The memory only made him want to set himself on fire a little bit.  “Are you okay?”

Ei’s hand snaked around his waist and Katsuki found himself receiving a small side-hug.  “Your mom’s always a peach.  Usually she just takes shots at you and I just bite my tongue to keep the peace… I think karma-wise I’m due for a couple of hits myself.”

Katsuki pulled the coffee pot from its place and poured out Yaoyorozu’s mug, leaving room at the top.  She liked a little bit of sugar in her coffee.  Luckily, he’d left it out from when he’d fixed Denki’s cup.  “I’ve been putting up with her forever, I can take it.  I don’t want you taking ‘hits’ from her.”

“It’s alright, Katsuki,” Ei leaned in and kissed his cheek.  “I’ve got thick skin.”  He sounded more normal when he said it so Katsuki allowed a small smile to tug at his lips.

“That was terrible.”

“Read the shirt, baby!”  He gestured to his chest with a flourish.  Part of their little decorating contest had been buying each other strawberry shirts.  The one Katsuki had got for Eijirou had the word ‘DAD’ stamped across it (the ‘A’ was an upside-down strawberry).  “This means my jokes are only going to get worse.”

“Is that a promise or a threat?”

“Yes.”

Katsuki shook his head.  His desire to set himself on fire had fallen down to manageable levels.  He thought he might be able to go back out again.  “So how does the Alpha Mom take her coffee?”

“Oh!”  Eijirou smiled. “Black.”

Katsuki’s brows rose in surprise.  “Ah.  A logical ruse.”

“That’s why she’s the Alpha Mom!”

Katsuki chuckled as he poured out her mug, emptying the pot as he did.  Eijirou took hold of both drinks, ready to go back.  He stopped when he saw Katsuki rinsing the pot and refilling it.

“Are we stalling?”  He asked quietly.

“No… mom can’t sleep on planes.  Probably hasn’t slept in twenty hours or some shit.”

Eijirou was quiet for a long moment, when Katsuki finally glanced over to him he found him grinning softly.  “You’re a good son,” he said.

Katsuki grunted.  He wasn’t sure he agreed with that but whatever.  Shit was complicated with his mom.  He put the filter in the basket and glanced back at her.  The hag was deeply engaged talking with Gucci and Feather-ears.

…The babies seemed fixated on something in the ball pit.  Katsuki tensed and turned fully–was there a bug in there or something?

Suddenly one of Kyouka’s earphone jacks popped out of the ball pit.  The babies shrieked loud enough to make Eijirou turn to look.  The little nib turned one way and then the other like a periscope before disappearing back into the pit.  The babies were instantly taken with the mystery of the missing earphone jack, rooting around and babbling excitedly.  The whole while Kyouka herself was resting her chin in her hand, pretending not to even be paying attention to the babies, while Mina sneakily took film.

Eijirou giggled, then stopped suddenly.  “Oh, your dad might need a refill.”

Bakugou Masaru was dead asleep in his chair.  For a moment Katsuki almost said to let him sleep… but his parents had tried very hard to come to this party.

“I’ll check on him once I get this started,”  he said instead, pulling the coffee grounds toward him.  Ei didn’t need to stay with him for this, but he did anyway, watching Natsuki root around for Kyouka’s jack with a tender little smile on his face.  Katsuki snorted under his breath.  He swore they weren’t usually this sappy with her, it was probably ‘cause it was a special day.

“Eh?  So you were at Paris Fashion Week?”  The Alpha Mom’s voice carried from the patio.

“Didn’t that just end?”  Gucci Mama asked.

“Just! I swear Katsuki planned it so his kid would be born right at Fashion Week so we’d have to scramble to be at her birthday.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes as he finished pouring the grounds into the filter basket.  “Can’t help herself from saying shit can she?”

“Just think of how you’re gonna tell your therapist about all this.”

“I’m gonna need to take Izuku-levels of notes tonight.”  He snapped the lid shut on the grounds and jabbed the start button.

“Oh man, speaking of, can you believe he got second place on ‘best father material’?”

Katsuki rolled his eyes again.  “'S fucking bullshit.

Eijirou snickered.  “It kinda is! Ochako told me: the other day he tried to change a diaper for the first time and puked.”

Katsuki choked out a laugh loud enough to temporarily disrupt the group outside.  Katsuki clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter but the mental image was too funny.

“Well that’s how you know their surrogate isn’t into fashion, I guess,” his mom said.

Katsuki’s eyes widened.  Shit.  He looked up and met Eijirou’s eyes and saw he’d realized the same thing he had.

“Host-sensei,” Eijirou said quietly.

Katsuki nearly jumped out of his skin as the Alpha Mom seemed to materialize from nowhere.  “Do you have a hosting-related question, my ‘student’?”  She reached out a hand.

Eijirou wordlessly handed over her coffee.  “We thought Katsuki’s mom wasn’t coming so we invited our surrogate and they’re um… complicated”

“Oh?” Feather-ears materialized seemingly from nowhere, a pile of dirty paper plates in her hands.

“Mitsuki’s just a little bit weird about Otoki,” Eijirou summarized.

“What’s the worst case scenario?” Gucci Mama cut in…. Where the hell did she come from?  She offered Eijirou Mitsuki’s mug and he took it.  But the fresh pot wasn’t ready yet.

“‘Worst case scenario’?”

“Would they actually fight?”  The Quiet One asked–when did she get here?

Katsuki suddenly remembered that Eijirou had described all of these women as gossipy.  Could they fucking smell drama?  He looked out to the patio, but his mother was distracted watching Kyouka play with the babies.  When he brought his attention back to the conversation in the kitchen he found Eijirou watching him and then glancing away again, looking a little ashamed.  Ah.

Katsuki cut in. “My mom’ll probably just make our surrogate uncomfortable.  Worst case is the ha–Mom– says some unnecessary shi–stuff that’ll bother our surrogate, but she won’t do anything about it ‘cause she’s got some class…”  First step was admitting you had a problem and it fucking sucked:  “If anyone’s gonna lose their cool and pick a fight it’ll be me.”

“Ah.”  The Alpha Mom said with a nod.

His therapist was helping him realize that he tended to overestimate how critical people were of him so maybe he was just… half imagining the judgment that followed.

“Katsuki always stands up for his friends,” Eijirou said a little defensively.  “Usually it’s super manly, but…  Anger makes Mitsuki stronger.”

“Well, at the very least, you should warn your surrogate to prepare her,” the Alpha Mom said.  “She might decide not to come if it’s too much of a bother.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.  Mitsuki takes a little emotional prepping.”  Ei offered Katsuki a sly wink, then pulled out his phone, looking a little more serious as he did.

“What if she still decides to come though?”  The Quiet One asked.

Katsuki let out a huff.  “I’ll just have to keep a lid on it,” he said.  He already hated this.  He hoped she’d decide it wasn’t worth it and just stayed away, but he highly doubted it.

“Text sent!”  Ei announced.

There was a knock at the door.

Eijirou’s smile froze while Katsuki grimaced.

“HI!” Natsuki bellowed.

Ei scurried to the door, no doubt hoping to impart a warning before their new arrivals came into view of the patio.

Katsuki took his mother’s used mug and refilled it.

He heard the quiet hiss of Eijirou saying: “So sorry for this–” then from the patio came his mother’s delighted gasp:

“Otoki?!”

Katsuki took a deep drink from the mug, ignoring his burnt tongue.  He needed the pick-me-up.

Being two cis men meant that Eijirou and Katsuki couldn’t make a baby of their own.  Yeah, there were quirks that could pull it off, but for understandable reasons quirks that involved genetic manipulation or the spontaneous creation of human beings were strictly regulated and tightly monitored.  (Especially after the whole Noumu thing.)  The end result was that there was only one agency in Japan that offered DNA manipulation.  Their website was pretty clear that people trying to make a baby could be bumped down their waiting list indefinitely to make room for already-born kids with life-threatening genetic illnesses.

Luckily they knew some lesbians who also wanted a kid and couldn’t adopt.  It made him feel a little bit better that such a ‘wholesome’ couple had also had their application denied.  He felt a bit guilty for feeling that way of course, but any shame he felt was drowned out in gratefulness.  Neither couple had got to adopt, yeah, but out of all that painful bullshit, he and Ei got Natsuki and Ochako and Frog-face got Otoki.

Now, Katsuki and Ei had both ‘contributed’ to making the two kids, so it’d been fifty-fifty on whose dad they’d have.  But there really was no question.  As Ochako stepped into view, the baby on her hip had the same explosive hair as Natsuki (in chestnut brown).  His moms didn’t call it ‘explosive’ hair though, they called it his ‘pomeranian puff’.  Keeping with that brand, they’d dressed him in little brown overalls, a cartoony pomeranian face on the front pocket.

“Look how big you’ve gotten!”  Mitsuki was all the way across the room in a flash.

“I hope you don’t mean me!” Ochako chuckled.  She was smiling, but Katsuki recognized her Uravity-dealing-with-unpleasant-fans smile.  Over her shoulder, Frog-Face made direct eye contact with Katsuki.  Her expression didn’t change at all, but Katsuki knew her well enough by now to recognize ‘long suffering’ on her face.

“Of course not,” Mitsuki said, hardly even sparing Ochako a glance as she took Otoki off her.  “I’m talking about this little man!” She cooed, gently bouncing and swinging him.  “I haven’t seen him in a whole year!  A year to the day!”  She gently tapped his nose as she said it.  Otoki looked at her like she was crazy.

The hag looked up.  “Hah?  Katsuki, why didn’t you have a party for both of ‘em?”

Katsuki wanted to snap that they weren’t raising them as siblings so why would they need a joint party?  … But none of Ei’s family was coming today because Ei’s Ma’s birthday was tomorrow and they were gonna have a joint party… and Ei and Metal-Face had joint birthday parties most years so…

“We’re doing something small with just our family later,” Frog-Face said flatly, ignoring the ‘why’.

Whatever response his mom would’ve given was cut off by Natsuki hollering: “Dodee!”

“Oh?”  Mitsuki looked between Natsuki out on the patio and the boy in her arms.  “I think your big sis wants to play with you!”

She was not his ‘big sis’.  Katsuki bit back the retort.  Why did his mom have to be weird about this?

Eijirou gently touched his hand.  “Actually, it’s about time to open gifts!”  He said, “Could you take Otoki outside?  We were gonna let the kids play while Natsuki opened presents in the living room.”

“Hah?  He doesn’t even know those kids!  He can stay and sit with me.”  Mitsuki sat on the couch, the matter settled.

Katsuki wanted to point out that Otoki knew the other babies as well as he knew her, but was cut off as his mother shouted out to the patio: “Masaru!”  His father jolted awake.  “Come see Otoki!”

Katsuki let out a frustrated sigh.  There were several decisions Katsuki had made in his life that were just… not up to his mom.  And yet, she took it personally when he chose what she didn’t want him to.

One was when he took Kirishima’s last name.  His own name was more widely known and he wanted some fucking peace and quiet in his civilian life, but his mom was pissed because they only had one son to carry the family name while Kirishima’s family had two.

Another was his decision to go to therapy.  He had it on good authority (Ochako via Izuku via Inko) that she’d complained to anyone who’d listen.  In her mind, him going to therapy was a personal attack on her abilities as a mother… She was right, of course.  He’d gone specifically because he wanted to work on himself so he’d be a better parent than she’d been.  But she didn’t know that.

The third (and worst, according to her) decision he’d made was to sign an agreement with Ochako and Frog-Face deciding how they’d split up the twins.  The four of them agreed that when the twins were born they’d be tested to see if they had resistance to Katsuki’s sweat and whichever was resistant would go home with him and Ei.  If neither or both of them were resistant, then they’d take home the second born.  (He’d half-jokingly said they’d take the first born and Ochako had fully-seriously lectured him that if she was going to risk dying in childbirth, she had first dibs on her firstborn.)

Then Natsuki was born first.  For a little while there, it looked like Otoki would be going home with him and Ei.  But they’d been careful when interacting with the babies, trying not to get too strongly attached to either one just in case. They all four referred to the babies as ‘the babies’ and took turns holding them, not calling either one theirs, not using the names they’d picked out until they knew for sure.  Mitsuki meanwhile, cuddled her darling grandson and called him ‘Itsuki’ (even though the boy name they’d picked was ‘Atsuki’).  She got herself good and attached and then the test results came back.  To Eijirou and Katsuki it was a sigh of relief.  They finally could start really bonding with their baby girl (and Katsuki could take his quirk gloves off and actually touch her).  To Mitsuki it was devastating, and despite having a perfectly good granddaughter, she hadn’t bounced back from the heartbreak very gracefully.

At least they’d finally got her to stop (jokingly?) calling him ‘Itsuki’.  Small consolation, he guessed, that she was calling him ‘Otoki’ while she put all her attention on him and ignored Natsuki at her own birthday party.

Katsuki took a deep, fortifying breath.  Tolerate his mother.  Be a delightful host.  Give Natsuki a kickass birthday.  That’s what he needed to focus on.

Ei had arranged with the Momsquad ahead of time that two of them would look after the babies outside while Natsuki opened presents inside.  Natsuki opened the Alpha Mom and Feather Ears’ gifts first, then the two went outside to babysit, closing the patio doors and leaving everyone else to arrange themselves around the living room.

Eijirou had Natsuki on his lap, helping her open gifts while Katsuki pulled them at random from the pile they’d set on the coffee table.  It… wasn’t going too bad.  As long as he ignored what his mom was doing.

“Let’s see, what did Aunt Tsu and Aunt Ochako get you?  Ah, a little yellow pomeranian plush.”  He wiggled it in front of her and she took it, chubby fingers stroking through the hair, so similar to her own.  “Also… a book…!” Eijirou withdrew the book from the bottom of the gift bag and read the cover.  “Hero ABCs!”

“Is ‘D’ for Dynamight or Deku?”  Mitsuki chuckled, bouncing a slightly fussy Otoki on her knee.

“Oh, we checked of course,” Ochako said from her place across from Mitsuki.  She made a series of goofy faces and Otoki quieted.  Frog-face took a long sip from the mug Katsuki’d made up for her and smiled softly at her son.

Eijirou was already flipping through the little cardboard pages.  “Oh!”  He laughed as he turned the book around to show everyone.  “Dynamic Duo Dynamight and Deku dash into danger!”  He turned the book to display the illustrations like a reader at storytime, revealing a cutesy rendition of Katsuki and Izuku flying across a boxy city with colorful cartoon explosions.

“Hah…” Katsuki took the book off him and flipped to the ‘R’s.  He offered his husband a sharp grin.  “Red Riot and Real Steel rush to the rescue,” he read, flipping the book like Eijirou had to show the image of the two hard-heads running to a burning building.

“I gotta send a picture of that to Tetsu!” Ei snorted.

Katsuki set the book to the side while Eijirou thanked Ochako and Frog-face.  Mina quietly tugged the picture book toward herself and flipped through it, occasionally giggling and showing some of the pages to Hanta.

“Here’s my and Hitoshi’s gift,” Denki passed over an envelope, looking a little bashful.

Katsuki quirked a brow as Eijirou tore the seal.  “You giving my kid a giftcard?”

“She wishes.”

Eijirou nudged him and showed him the contents.

“What is it?”  Kyouka asked.

Katsuki pulled it out of the envelope and held it up.  “A year-long family pass from the National Parks Service.”

“Since you were saying you haven’t gone hiking since Natsuki was born I just thought maybe now she’s walking you could go?!”  Denki explained hurriedly.

“Aw!”  Kyouka cooed.

“Bro…!” Ei choked, his eyes sparkling with manly emotion.

Katsuki read over the back of the pass before looking up and locking eyes with his dad–the one who’d introduced him to hiking and camping in the first place.  “Says grandparents are included.” He waved the ticket.

Masaru beamed, “Oh, that’d be so nice, wouldn’t it Mitsuki?”

“Eh?”  She wasn’t paying attention, distracted playing peek-a-boo with Otoki.

Katsuki felt a flash of annoyance, but it was dampened as he looked down at the pass again.  It was kind of nice knowing that even though he and Ei didn’t get to spend much time with Denki anymore, he was still paying attention and thinking of them n’ shit… “This kicks ass, Sparky, thanks.”

“Aw, man!  Now I’m really blushing,” Denki joked, his face a little pink.  “You know Hitoshi contributed too!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, we went hiking on one of the trails to see if a baby could make it.  Hitoshi survived so…”

The Bakusquad laughed over this and Katsuki set the pass aside.

“Katsuki, where’s Otoki’s gift?” Mitsuki asked suddenly.  He turned to see Otoki squirming in her arms.

“Hah?”

“It’s his birthday too–you got him a birthday present, didn’t you?”  She winced as Otoki wriggled and fussed.  He was probably getting bored–that’s why they’d left all the other babies outside to play.

“It’s fine,” Ochako cut in.  “It’s Otoki’s birthday too, but this is Natsuki’s party, you know?”  Beside her, Frog-face took a long drag on her coffee.

Mitsuki clicked her tongue.  “Masaru, grab my purse.”

“Open ours next!”  Mina cheerfully demanded.  She scooted in and offered a pink gift bag out to Natsuki, who was immediately distracted by the sparkly tissue paper stuffed in the bag.  Ei pulled out the actual gift.  The first item he withdrew was a little romper with a familiar strawberry print.

“The cutest girl I know has one just like that,” Hanta said sagely.  Beside him Mina flipped her hair and tilted back to show off the matching romper she was wearing.

Ei gasped in delight.  “Natsuki, are you going to match your Aunt Mina?!”

Natsuki blinked and squealed in response, waving the paper and showering Eijirou and the floor in loose sparkles.  Next Ei withdrew no less than six pairs of baby sunglasses.

“I got cheap ones on purpose,” Mina explained with a smile for Natsuki.  “‘Cause you’re a little sunglasses killer, aren’t you?”

“She is,” Ochako nodded knowingly along with Denki, Frog-face, and even Gucci Mama.

Natsuki didn’t even acknowledge them.  She’d dropped the paper as soon as she saw the sunglasses, her eyes alight with murderous excitement.

“Ah, maybe let’s set those aside so they can live ‘til the end of the day…” Eijirou said.

Katsuki noticed his mother, once again, wasn’t paying attention.  Instead she’d found some toy and was using it to amuse Otoki.  That, plus the jovial mood of the room, seemed to have temporarily relieved his boredom.  Still Katsuki felt a flash of annoyance.  ‘After she traveled all that fucking way to get here for Natsuki’s party!’  He thought bitterly.  Then a voice from the back of his head (that sounded suspiciously like his therapist) chimed in: ‘She chose to put herself out there for Natsuki and now she’s choosing to ignore her, but those are both her choices.’

He let out a breath.  Tolerate his mother.  Be a delightful host.  Give Natsuki a kickass birthday party.

He dragged his eyes away from his mother just as Eijirou moved the sunglasses out of reach.  It was only after he’d looked away that he processed the toy his mother was holding still had a tag on it.

Natsuki strained against Eijirou’s hold, making increasingly loud, unhappy noises that promised a tantrum.  Katsuki’s eyes flicked between seeking out another present to distract her with and checking out the toy his mom had.  That wasn’t one of Natsuki’s.  It must’ve been one of Otoki’s that Ochako brought from home…

“C’mon Ei, it’s her birthday,” Hanta said.

“A little sunglasses murder never killed anybody!”  Mina added.  “Except for six pairs of my sunglasses.”

“Eh? Six?!”  Denki and Ochako spoke together.

“Yeah, I can’t even be mad ‘cause it’s such a ‘shame on me’ situation,” Mina shrugged and watched cheerfully as Eijirou relented and placed a pair of sunglasses on Natsuki’s face.

She looked so cute, Katsuki should’ve been looking only at her, but his eyes were drawn like magnets to his mother.  He should ignore her, he knew.  It would only frustrate him further the more he paid attention to her, but…

“Quick, somebody grab another present before she kills the glasses!”  Ei laughed.

Mitsuki bounced the toy on her knee, trying to entertain Otoki.  The plush was a frog, so that was another point in favor of the ‘probably one of Otoki’s brought from home’ theory… But why would Ochako and Frog-face leave the tag on?

Kyouka pushed a gift toward Eijirou.  “This is one of the ones from me and Momo!”

The little frog toy was wearing a blue ascot scarf and a red and white striped shirt.  The colors of the French flag, Katsuki noted.

Ei tried to get Natsuki interested in the new present, but she’d taken off her sunglasses and was smiling gleefully at the innocent plastic.

The frog was wearing a little black beret.  His mother moved the plush and the tag twisted in the air, a little Eiffel Tower stamped on the front.

Natsuki had one of the glasses’ temples in each hand and was spreading them, a look of determination on her face.

That was a gift from Paris.  A gift for a child.  For Natsuki.  That his mother was using to entertain Otoki. While she ignored Natsuki.  At Natsuki’s very first birthday party.

Snap!

Natsuki turned to look Ei dead in the eye and with genuine bewilderment announced:  “Uh-oh!”

“Yeah.  Uh-oh,” came Ei’s deadpan reply.  Mina and Hanta cackled openly while the rest of the room tried not to encourage the behavior by openly laughing… with varying success.

Katsuki did not laugh.  He needed to leave the room.

He touched Eijirou’s arm while the others were still giggling.  “I’m going to set up the dessert table,” he said.

There was a question in Eijirou’s eyes, but he ignored it.  Natsuki dropped the broken sunglasses and reached for the gift Kyouka had offered, a move that worked to distract Eijirou so Katsuki could escape.

Escape.  Again!  This was Katsuki’s house, he shouldn’t have to feel like he needed to escape.

But he couldn’t fight, so ‘flight’ was his only option.  Even if he couldn’t tolerate his mother.  Even if he was a garbage host.  He could still give Natsuki a kickass birthday party.  Right now that meant removing himself from the room before he exploded at his mom.  Natsuki was having fun.  He wouldn’t ruin that.

Katsuki gathered dishes from the dining room table.  There was plenty of food still leftover, but they could eat them later.  As he worked, Katsuki tried to pick apart his feelings.  It was something he was learning in therapy: what was under his anger?  He grabbed at rage quickly and easily but it was a defensive mechanism to cover other, more vulnerable emotions.  Part of dismantling that anger was facing the feelings beneath them.  So what was at the heart of what he was feeling right now?

He hadn’t felt too badly when he’d heard his parents couldn’t make it.  They weren’t celebrating with Ei’s family today either, so rescheduling with his family hadn’t been a big deal, and it meant they were free to invite the Urarakas.  He’d been resigned (in a good way) to them not being here.  Now his mom was here and wasn’t paying attention to Natsuki, but why was that bothering him when her missing the party entirely hadn’t?

But she’d tried so hard to make the party… The part of his mind that chimed ‘that was her choice–’ tried it again and he silenced the thought because he was assessing how that shit made him feel.  Katsuki hadn’t been completely glad that his mother had come… but maybe part of him was kind of happy that she’d tried so hard for Natsuki (and by extension, for him).  It showed that she cared.  Now… she’d gone back on that.  Katsuki was… disappointed.

He let out a breath.  That was it.  Disappointment.  He’d thought the hag was being a good mom and a good grandma and then she didn’t come through for him after all and he was disappointed about it.

He was also definitely frustrated with himself.  His mom wasn’t paying attention to Natsuki, too wrapped up in Otoki.  But he wasn’t opening gifts with his daughter right now because he was too wrapped up in what his mom was doing.  And that wasn’t on her, that was on him.

Successful emotional diagnosis in hand, he didn’t actually feel much better, but at least his therapist would be proud… Which was a normal and healthy way to think about therapy.

“Katsuki?”

Katsuki turned to see his father standing there, soft smile in place.

“I came to see if you needed a hand setting up,” he said.

Katsuki turned away.  “You should go watch Natsuki open gifts,” he replied.  “You traveled all this way.”

His dad hummed.  “We would’ve traveled it anyway, you know.  Our trip was over.  We just… worked a little bit harder to make it on time.”  He came up beside Katsuki and followed his lead, clearing the dining room table.  “Plus I can tell something is bothering you.”

‘Something’ he said.  Like he didn’t know what that ‘something’ was.

Katsuki’s relationship with his mother was so tense, he often forgot about how complicated things were with his dad.  His dad was kinder, softer, and all around more loving than his mom.  He was a seemingly steady support… right up until Katsuki was at odds with the hag.  The issue was that his dad didn’t officially take sides, but also that Mitsuki was his wife and thus, his equal, so he couldn’t push her into doing things the way he could push Katsuki.  The end result was that his dad couldn’t be counted on to stand up for him.  Instead he waited until the fight was over before he sidled up to Katsuki and talked him into making peace.

Katsuki knew this, he did.  And yet, he still found himself opening up: “ 'M pissed the hag’s ignoring Natsuki.”

His dad winced. “Well you know, we can see Natsuki when we like–especially now we’ll be back in Japan for a while.  But we might not see Otoki again for… who knows how long!”

“But Natsuki is her grandkid,” Katsuki ground out, gritting his teeth to keep himself from raising his voice.  “Not Otoki!”

“Well… “ his father trailed off, “you know how hard it was for her…”

And that was the frustrating thing.  Because he did get that.  He tried to be distant when they were born, but secretly?  He held Natsuki first.  He thought ‘holy shit, I’m seriously a dad now’ for the first time while holding her, not Otoki.  So even though he wasn’t supposed to, he’d been sort of hoping to take Natsuki home.  But he was confident that if things had worked out differently he still would’ve been perfectly happy taking Otoki home instead.

“I just don't understand why she can’t just be happy with Natsuki…”  He said.

“Well…” His father said again, “Natsuki doesn’t seem to mind.”

Of course she didn’t!  She probably wouldn’t know or care if Mitsuki gave her birthday present to Otoki.  But that wasn’t enough.  “I mind,” Katsuki admitted through grit teeth.

Masaru winced.  “Ah… I’ll talk to her, alright?”  This was probably the most commonly used phrase in his and his father’s relationship.  Usually followed by fucking nothing happening.

As his father retreated back to the group, Katsuki felt that same bite of disappointment spread.  Next time he went to therapy, he was going to ask her for tips on how to staple his expectations to the damn floor.

From the living room came Eijirou’s cheerful voice: “Aw, a baby xylophone!  Thank you Aunt Kyouka!  And Aunt Momo, thank you for the baby Mozart CDs!”  Then Yaoyorozu launched into a cheerful lecture on the benefits of music on early childhood brain development.

“Do you need a hand?”  He suppressed a jolt as Ochako came up beside him.

“Whatever,” he grumbled, then immediately kicked himself.  He may have failed to tolerate his mother, but that didn’t mean he could give up on being a delightful host.  “I mean… thanks.”

Ochako wordlessly moved in step, gathering the last of the party snacks and carrying them into the kitchen.

Katsuki pulled out three extra large bento boxes.

“Is something wrong?”  Ochako asked, keeping her voice low with the main party so near.

“Why do you think that?”  Katsuki dodged the question as he began to rapid-fire divide the leftovers between the three bentos.

“Well, it’s a birthday party and you’re packing lunch boxes…”

Katsuki clicked his tongue.  She had him there.  Still, it took a long moment for him to muster the words to sum up his feelings and even then, all he came up with was an eloquent:  “My family fucking sucks.”

“Eh?  Eijirou and Natsuki?”

“Hah?  No!”  He snarled, offended at the very notion.  He turned to her to tell her how wrong she was when he saw the smug Cheshire grin on her face.  “Tch!”  He went back to the bentos.

Ochako fucking knew he hadn’t been talking about Ei and Natsu.  But… they were his family.  His old family sucked.  But he’d made a new one hadn’t he?  He remembered just this morning: his idiot husband choking because his daughter had laughed so hard at something he’d done that she escaped the boundaries of the human voice.  His new family kind of kicked ass.

“Y’know my Mom was saying how today isn’t just Otoki and Natsuki’s birthday,” Ochako said.  “It’s the anniversary of when we became parents.  You’re not just celebrating them getting a year older–you’re also celebrating your own success in getting them here.”

“As compared to what?  Pretty sure keeping your kid alive is the bare minimum parenting-wise,” Katsuki grumbled.

“And yet it wasn’t easy!”  She laughed, but there was a strained quality that Katsuki understood.

“No, it wasn’t,” he relented.  He’d thought he knew what it’d be like before Natsuki was born.  Parenthood would be like a rollercoaster, he thought, fast and scary but fun.  Then she finally arrived and he realized it was like a rollercoaster, except they didn’t have seat belts.  Or seats.  Instead it was just him and Ei clinging onto a metal frame rocketing around curves and loops.  It was faster and scarier and more fun than he ever could’ve expected.  “ 'S worth it though.”

“Yeah,” Ochako said with a sappy little smile.  She shook her head then, as if shaking off the warm fuzzies.  “Ah, but all this is to say that you should go enjoy the party since it’s your party too, y’know?  I can set up the cake.”

Katsuki snapped the lid onto the last bento box.  She was right.  ‘Tolerate his mom.  Be a delightful host.  Give Natsuki a kickass birthday.’  This had been his goal for the day, and he’d kind of fucked it up at step one.  Thankfully if there was one thing Katsuki had learned it was that goals could and should change.  His new goal for the day?  ‘Have a good time with his two favorite people.’  And that’s what he was going to do.

“Alright,” he said, “I’ll go back.  But first I gotta explain the dessert set-up.”

“Eh?  It’s just a cake, right?”

“I don’t half-ass shit, Ochako.”

***

He rejoined the party just as Ei was about to set aside Natsuki’s newest gift.  At the sight of Katsuki, his eyes lit up and his face split into that sharp-toothed grin that never failed to make Katsuki feel so many very embarrassing emotions.  He found a small smile on his face in reply.

He took his previous seat.  “What’d I miss?”

“Kyouka and Momo gave Natsuki some musical stuff, Masuda gave her a Dynamight and a Red Riot shirt, and your parents got her some French goodies!”

Katsuki turned to the growing pile of opened gifts, curious.  It looked like his parents had put together a whole little Parisian outfit, complete with ascot and beret.  And there, sitting on top of the outfit, was a little French poodle plush, wearing a red ascot scarf, a blue and white striped shirt, and a little black beret.

Huh.

His eyes flicked to where his mother sat, only to realize she wasn’t even in the room.  She was outside with Feather Ears and Gucci Mama, Otoki playing with the frog plush in the ball pit with the other kids.  Frustration and embarrassment welled within him.  Apparently his mom had bought a second toy for Otoki.  Because of course she did!  She thought of him as a grandchild.  Which meant Katsuki had freaked out over nothing.  As usual.

As quickly as the feelings came, he stamped them out again.  That shit wasn’t what he wanted to focus on.  He wanted to focus on Natsuki and Eijirou.  Right then, Eijirou was holding up the last of Natsuki’s gifts while Natsuki oh-so-carefully pulled apart the wrapping paper.

“Aw, look!”  Ei cooed. From the remains of the wrapping paper he withdrew a framed photo.  The frame had been decorated with handmade foam-paper explosions with glittery hearts at their center.  The picture itself was of Eijirou, Natsuki, the Momsquad, their babies and… Dynamight.

“It’s from when Natsuki and the Momsquad first met Dynamight!”  Ei turned the photo so the Bakusquad could see it.

“Awwww!”  Mina cooed genuinely.

“Awwww!” Denki and Hanta cooed teasingly.

Katsuki rolled his eyes in response. Yeah, yeah, he and his family were fucking adorable.

“I love it!”  Ei gushed.  “I’m gonna put it up in Natsuki’s room!  Thank you, Tanaka!”

The Quiet One, huh?  Katsuki glanced her way in time to see her duck her head and flush.

“Bad!”  Natsuki shouted.

“Eh?”  The Quiet One asked.  “It’s bad?”  She turned to Eijirou.

Eijirou chuckled.  “Don’t worry about it, see:”

“Who’s that, Natsuki?”  Katsuki pointed to Ei in the photo.

“Baba.”

“And who’s this?”  Ei pointed to Dynamight.

“Bad!”

“That’s right, Natsuki,” Katsuki threw the Quiet One a proud grin.  “‘Dad’!”

***

Instead of doing a traditional birthday cake, Katsuki had decided to make a couple of pound cakes, along with homemade blueberry syrup, strawberry syrup, strawberry mousse, and whipped cream.  Plain berries and powdered sugar were set out to add on as people liked.  Ochako had done a pretty good job laying out the table.  She’d even thought ahead to steep a pot of green tea and more coffee to go with it all.

Hanta nodded at the sight.  “Yes, this is the level of Blasty flavored extra-y-ness I’ve come to know and love.”

“And yet, it’s surprisingly trendy?!”  Denki exclaimed.

“Oh, I’m going to take some cute dessert pics for my Insta!” Mina clapped her hands.

“Hang on, you animals, birthday girl gets first bite,” Katsuki scolded them, but there was no heat behind it.  Meanwhile, Ei was wrestling Natsuki into a long-sleeved bib.

“What’s up, Natsu?  You wear one of these every morning,” Ei asked as she squirmed.

“She’s probably thinking: ‘Papa, you idiot, this is for breakfast.  It’s time for afternoon milk!’”  Katsuki only lilted his voice up a half an octave to impersonate his daughter and yet Denki could barely contain his mirth as he asked:

“She’s thinking what now, Katsuki?”

Katsuki glared over his shoulder.  “She’s thinking:”  He pitched his voice up: “‘Die, shitty Pikachu!’”

The three idiots fell over themselves cackling like hyenas.  Natsuki didn’t know what they were giggling about of course, but she knew they were laughing so she broke into a dopey smile.  It was distraction enough for them to get her bib on.

One of Katsuki and Ei’s birthday gifts to Natsuki was her own little tableware set, so when Katsuki pulled out Natsuki’s dessert it was in a little white bowl covered in pink and red strawberries.  Inside was a smooth strawberry mousse, a candle sat nicely between a few chopping strawberries on top.

“Hah?  Where’s her cake?”

Katsuki glanced up to see his mother had rejoined the group.  Surprisingly, Otoki wasn’t with her.  A quick look confirmed, he was still outside.  He mentally slapped whatever emotion his brain had been trying to hook onto this observation out of its dumb, emotional hands.

“Natsuki doesn’t really like spongy foods like cake or bread,” Eijirou explained.  “But we wanted to do something special for her birthday so Katsuki made this mousse stuff.  I had some earlier, it’s really tasty!”

They dimmed the lights to sing ‘Happy Birthday’.  Katsuki and Eijirou sat on either side of their daughter while she stared, mesmerized, at the lit candle (just out of her reach).  She was too little to blow out the candle herself, so Katsuki and Eijirou did it for her.  In the process, they blew air into each others’ faces and laughed when their bangs fluttered.

The lights went up again and the group dispersed to put their desserts together.  Mina, Denki, and Feather Ears all hung back, so they can take their time putting together the perfect Instagram-worthy plate.

Ei offered Natsuki a spoonful of mousse and she accepted it, but only if he let her wrap her little hand around his while he did.  Katsuki smiled as he watched.  Natsuki’s brows rose, surprised and pleased at the taste.  Some spit-soggy mousse dribbled out of the side of her mouth and she smeared it back in with a chubby fist, then obediently opened her mouth again for another spoonful.  Once again, she had to have her hand on Ei’s around the spoon.  “Nice,” Ei said as her sticky fingers wrapped around his.  Katsuki chuckled.

Katsuki became aware of Mina and Denki giggling.  “Corporate would like you to find the difference between these two pictures,” Mina said to Feather Ears.

Feather Ears looked at both of their upheld phones and said flatly: “They’re the same picture.”

Denki saw Katsuki watching and turned his phone screen to show him and a half-distracted Ei.  Denki had taken a picture of a smiling Ei feeding Natsuki, while Katsuki watched on with a soft, sappy look.  Then Mina held up her own phone to show a very old picture.  They were wearing the first drafts of their hero costumes so they must’ve been in their first year at UA at least.  Ei was smiling widely, chatting to someone off screen while Katsuki watched with a small smile.

Damn.  He’d been soft a lot longer than he’d thought.

“Aw!”  Ei said, his eyes sparkling.  “Send me those!”

Katsuki rolled his eyes and refocused on Natsuki.  “Ah… Natsuki ran out of patience.”

Ei turned back to see Natsuki digging into the mousse with her hands.  Her cheeks were covered in sticky pink flecks.  There was even a little bit on her forehead.

“Oh, so you like it huh?”  Ei asked.

Natsuki shoved her dessert-covered fingers into her mouth.  “Mmm!”

“Tell your dad, he made it!  Tell him!”  He pointed to Katsuki.

Natsuki’s head bobbled a bit as she turned to look at her dad and said again: “Mmmm!”

Katsuki thought, with feeling: Damn.  “ ‘M glad you like it,” he said and leaned forward to kiss her head.

While Ei went to put together a dessert plate for the two of them, Katsuki sat back and watched her enjoy her treat.  Around him, Mina, Denki, and Feather Ears took their plates outside while discussing the best composition for their dessert pictures.  Mitsuki bragged that Masaru taught Katsuki everything he knew about cooking, sparking off a conversation between his dad and the Alpha Mom about baking.  Yaoyorozu and Jirou talked classical music with the Quiet One, who was apparently a fan.

Otoki played in the ball pit and occasionally turned around, mouth open like a baby bird.  Frog-face obediently popped a little bite of pound cake in his mouth and he’d chew and go right back to playing.  Gucci Mama and Ochako sat on the other side of the ball pit, demonstrating to Hanta why parents say their infant is so many months old instead of years.  As the babies were returned to the ball pit, hands freshly cleaned and tummies full of sugar, the two asked each one-year-old to identify animal sounds.  Their responses varied wildly because just a few months made a huge difference when you’d only been alive so long.

After a bit of cleaning up, he and Ei brought Natsuki out with other babies and revealed their other birthday present for her: a bubble machine.  Soon their little backyard was full of hyper toddlers chasing bubbles and squealing.  The oldest one could actually manage a run, while Natsuki and Otoki’s top speed was a wobbling ‘slow’.  After a few tumbles, Katsuki and Frog-face went out and held their hands to keep them on their feet.

As Katsuki shuffled along to keep up with Natsuki’s mach speed he thought about how different she was from how she’d been six months ago.  When Katsuki returned to work after his first six months of paternity leave, she could barely sit up on her own, she could only kind of babble, and she thought ‘Natsuki’ was just a neat word her dads used a lot.  Now she could walk and throw out a handful of words.  She knew that she was Natsuki and they were her Baba and Bad.  She’d change even more in the next six months.  And now that he was going back on leave, he’d get to be there every baby step of the way.

Of course, the party had to eventually come to an end.  It said so right on the invitation.  Katsuki was thankful the Momsquad had suggested it to Ei.  A designated endpoint meant they could kick everyone out in time for Natsuki’s nap.

The Momsquad was the first group to excuse themselves.  They also had kids who needed to go down for their naps.  Of course, their departure was easier said than done.  The genkan had filled up with shoes and the door bench was covered in bags and purses, with the pegs above completely hidden by a wall of jackets and hats. Once they’d passed that gauntlet they still had to get their kids into the strollers waiting on the front porch.  Katsuki found himself drawn into the fray helping to hunt down tiny baby shoes.

“Now, Kirishima, you aren’t going to disappear now that you’re a working mom, alright?”  Feather Ears was saying as she shoved tiny sneakers on her kid’s feet.

“Of course not!”  Eijirou said, handing a little pair of pink shoes to the Quiet One.  “I’m still planning on babysitting at Jiro’s birthday party!  And I’ll have some on-call days when I can make our daily walks!”

The Alpha Mom showed her experienced mom-skills by having already buckled her kid into her stroller, shoes on, diaper bag tucked into the storage basket and ready to go before the Quiet One had even found her shoes yet.  “I’m glad to hear that!  We’ll miss seeing you, you know.”  She offered Katsuki a smile.  “But of course we’re looking forward to seeing Kirishima-san on Monday!”  She sounded like she actually meant it too.

“Oi, Kirishima-san!”  Feather Ears called to Katsuki from where she was wrestling her very squirmy kid into his baby carrier.  “I gotta get this guy home for his nap, but Monday?  We’re gonna talk Instagram foodie stuff!”

Gucci Mama nodded, setting her own kid in his (yeah, very obviously expensive) stroller.  “I also need to start prepping you for Jiro’s birthday.  My mother-in-law can be… a lot.”

Katsuki quirked an eyebrow at that.  He glanced back into the house.  He couldn’t see his mom from here, but last he’d seen she was watching Otoki and Natsuki run around the yard.

When he turned back, he saw Gucci watching him with an even expression.  “I can tell we’re going to get along,” she said.  She turned to the Quiet One, the only one who hadn’t spoken yet.

The Quiet One stumbled as she finished getting her shoe on, her cheeks going pink under their shared gazes.  “Ah… It was nice to meet you!”  She bowed, her daughter gurgling sleepily in her arms.  “Thank you for having us.  We’ll see you on Monday!”  Her voice got higher and higher as she spoke.

“Yes, thank you for having us,” the Alpha Mom said, leading the other two in a bow.

“Thanks for coming!”  Eijirou replied cheerfully as he and Katsuki returned the gesture.

As soon as the Momsquad were gone, Ei turned to Katsuki with a big triumphant smile.  Apparently he hadn’t made a completely garbage first impression on them.  Katsuki let out a breath of relief he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.  Of course, then he heard Natsuki crying inside.

Katsuki used to side-eye mothers who said they could identify what their kid was feeling based on how they cried, but now?  He got it.  Katsuki and Ei went back inside, neither in a huge rush, because what they were hearing was fussy ‘it’s nearly nap time’ crying.

Yaoyorozu didn’t know this of course, so as the two of them reentered the living room she turned, mildly panicked and said, “I’m sorry!  She was asking for you and I said you’d be right back–should I have said something different?”

A tearful Natsuki toddled across the room, her arms raised demanding a pick-up.  “Aw, no worries Yaomomo!”  Ei said cheerfully as he bent to scoop her up.  “She’s just feeling fussy ‘cause she’s tired!”

“Told ya Yaomomo!”  Mina said cheerfully.  “No tears, no fears!”  She pointed to Natsuki’s dry eyes.  “Although we probably should get going.  I’ve seen this girl when she doesn’t get her nap in!”

Katsuki snorted.  “Yeah, you wanna see a real tantrum.  Keep being loud and hang around fifteen minutes or so.”

“And now that I’ve been sufficiently threatened…” Denki rose off the couch.  “Where are my shoes?”

Just as before, there was a bit of chaos in the genkan as everyone stumbled around finding their shoes.  Honestly, Katsuki suspected the Momsquad had been orderly about their shoes until these animals arrived.

Kyouka and Yaoyorozu were the first to get themselves together.  They gave a polite goodbye and thanked them for the invitation.  Hand-in-hand they left, the wind gently fluttering their matching skirts.  Yaoyorozu’s secondary quirk ‘Disney Princess’ at work.

“You guys should get your babysitter together now,” Hanta announced as he waited for his girlfriend.  “Katsuki’s birthday is next and I’ve heard some interesting things about this ‘wine-drunk Kirishima’ guy.”

“Yeah, why haven’t you introduced us yet?”  Mina joined in.  She’d donned her ‘incognito’ look and flipped her sunglasses on with a cheeky flourish.

“Yeah, yeah!  I wanna meet him!”  Denki demanded, straightening from putting his shows on.  “Also.”  He pointed back toward the patio and said very seriously.  “Your party better have a ball pit.”

Eijirou chuckled while Katsuki replied with a simple: “Get out of my house already.”

The three laughed their way out the door.

The only guests they had left now were… his parents and the Urarakas.  Thankfully, it was about time for Otoki’s nap as well.  Ochako and Frog-face were just about ready to go right after the Bakusquad.  Otoki was rubbing his eyes, leaning against Frog-face’s chest and yawning.

“Ah, hang on, we do have a gift for Otoki!”  Ei said.  He retreated back into the main house and came back with two bags and no Natsuki.  He offered Katsuki a grin.  “Gave Natsuki to your mom.”

Katsuki glanced back and saw his parents sitting outside with the baby.  All three of them were at some stage of ‘sleepy’.

Katsuki cleared his throat.  “Yeah… sorry about them.”

“Oh no,” Ochako waved a hand dismissively.  “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be! … I mean, our parents can be weird about it too!”

“The other day, we found out Ochako’s parents thought Katsuki was paying us child support,” Frog-face said.

Eijirou laughed while Katsuki sputtered.  “Do they not know how ‘sperm donation’ works?!”

“They thought they did,” Frog-face said with a little smile.

Katsuki shook his head and took one of the bags from Ei.  “Well, It’s no child support, but we did make a ‘thanks for giving birth to our daughter’ gift for you.”

“Also: Otoki’s present!”

They both offered their gifts to Ochako.  She eyed the one for her.  “Hm, I wonder what could be worth giving birth to your kid?”

“Realistically, probably nothing!”  Ei replied cheerfully.

“‘S homemade mochi.”

“I pounded the dough!” Eijirou knocked his fists together.

“They’re all matcha or chocolate flavored.”

“Aw,” Ochako cooed.  “All my favorites!”

She didn’t know yet that Katsuki had painstakingly given each mochi a face so they looked like frogs or pomeranians.  “Yup… all your favorites,” he said.

Otoki let out a sleepy grumble, a warning that crying might follow if he wasn’t put down to sleep soon.  The family bowed out.

And then there were two.  Katsuki reentered the house proper and was surprised to see his mother had left the patio and was instead cleaning dishes in the kitchen.  She’d found their baby bouncer and strapped Natsuki in.  Natsuki was sleepily fiddling with one of the hanging toys, using one finger to make it spin.

“Thanks Mama Mitsuki!”  Eijirou said cheerfully just as Katsuki said:  “Mom, Ei and I can do that.”

She snorted at them.  “You’re welcome, Eijirou.  And brat: hush.  If I sat down much longer I would’ve wound up like your father.”  She nodded over her shoulder toward where Masaru was once again sleeping on the patio.  “Go wake him up.  We got some souvenirs to give you before we go.”

“I’ll get him,” Ei said, leaving Katsuki alone with his mom.

Katsuki tried not to audibly sigh.  He stripped off the quirk gloves and grabbed a hand towel.  For a minute it felt just like his childhood, before the dorms and Ei drew him out of the house.  Back then, his dad cooked, his mom washed the dishes, and Katsuki dried them.  The only difference now was that instead of focusing solely on what was in front of him, his attention was split between the task at hand and occasionally reaching over to pull Natsuki’s thumb out of her mouth.

“Huh,” his mom said.

He suppressed the instinctive urge to bristle.

Damp fingers pinched at one of the strawberries on his sweater.  “Are these actually red and green grenades?”  She leaned into his space.

His instinctive annoyance fell back behind amusement.  “Ei got it for me,” he said by way of reply.

“Ha!”  She went back to cleaning the dishes.  “Found something soft but still you, huh?  He is a keeper, isn’t he?”

“I know,” Katsui deadpanned.  “I should marry him.  Maybe we’ll have a kid someday.”

She flicked water at him.

They went back to cleaning.  Natsuki’s eyelids drooped as the sound of running water and the gentle clink of plates filled the kitchen.  Katsuki debated breaking the silence for a long, long moment before he finally asked: “Did you get to say goodbye to Otoki?”

His mother nodded.  “Uraraka-san let us get a long goodbye in since we don’t know when we’ll see him again,” she said wistfully.  “Thank you for inviting them.  We’ll have to think of another event where you can invite both us and Otoki’s family so I can see him again before Natsuki’s next birthday.”

Katsuki glanced sidelong at her.  Did she seriously think he’d invited the Urarakas just so she could see Otoki?  Half of him raged that she was so self-centered.  Not everything that pleased her was meant for her!  He wanted to throw the truth in her face just so he could watch her implode, but the other half felt strangely mollified. She’d put all her attention on Otoki because she thought Katsuki had arranged for him to be there for her.  The two emotions canceled each other out and he was left just feeling tired.

Whatever.  Even if the shit with Otoki wasn’t as bad as he’d first thought, she’d been shitty before he arrived.  “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, “if you promise not to bring up the whole adoption thing again.”

“Ah, sorry about that,” she said.  His ire rose; she didn’t sound nearly sorry enough.  “I didn’t think it still bothered you.  After all, you’ve got Natsuki now.”

“You’ve got Natsuki, too.  You still wanna see Otoki,” he snapped before he could think better of it.

“Guess that’s true,” she admitted.

Katsuki’s brow twitched.  Her not rising to his anger just made him feel more frustrated.  Where was this pacifist spirit when she was criticizing him all afternoon?

Natsuki let out a sleepy murmur and he looked over at her.  Some of his frustration died just seeing her looking so peaceful.  He reached out and gently tugged her thumb from her mouth again.

“You know they were wrong, right?”  She said suddenly, setting the last of the dishes onto the drying rack.  “When they rejected your application.”

“That is not what you said when I first told you.”  Katsuki snatched up the dish and started angrily rubbing it dry.

“Well, you proved me wrong.  You’re a good dad.”

A part of him unfurled to soak up the praise, while the other sat back and watched, disgusted with himself.  “...Thanks.”

“It has shocked me to my core, honestly.”

“Hah?”  He snarled.  Was she trying to start a fight?  But then he looked over at him and saw the cheeky grin spread across her face.

“Clearly, I did something right as a parent.”  She nodded with mock smugness.  “Gotta hand it to myself on this one.”

“Fuck you, Hag,” he grumped, though there wasn’t as much heat behind the words as there once would have been.

This was, of course, when Eijirou and Masaru walked up.  Eijirou glanced between Katsuki and his mother, trying to assess whether the swearing he’d heard was affectionate or derogatory.  Katsuki merely rolled his eyes by way of explanation.  Masaru didn’t even seem to notice what they’d been saying to one another.  He cheerfully laid out a couple of plastic bags with foreign lettering on the sides.

“I called us a cab, we’ve got enough time for you to open your souvenirs!”  He said.

The first gifts his parents passed out were all berets–slouchy knitted ones for Katsuki and Ei and a more traditional one for Natsuki–although hers was made to look like the top of a strawberry.  Next came a box of macarons. For Katsuki there was a tin of French herbs and a decorative box filled with various brightly-colored Indian spices.

“Figured we wouldn’t have too many chances to get a gift from India for you, so might as well!  And we got these for Natsuki.”  Mitsuki pulled out a white French quilt and a little stuffed elephant made of a colorfully patterned fabric.  Both looked too nice for a stain machine like Natsuki, but Katsuki wasn’t going to thank his parents by pointing that out.  He glanced over to see what Eijirou had got and it was… handmade soap and hair oil.

“Ah, see there’s a story here!”  Masaru explained.  “This soap is from the oldest soap store in Paris.”

“Ah!”  Eijirou said.  Katsuki doubted they’d notice it was his ‘I’m trying to sound sincere’ tone of voice.

“The scent is called ‘Manly Spirit’!”  Mitsuki said with a grin.

“It just made us think of you,” his dad said with a smile.

“Aw!”  Eijirou said, actually genuinely pleased this time.  He sniffed the loosely wrapped soap bars.  “Oh.”  Then handed them over to Katsuki.  “Smell.”

Katsuki inhaled and was hit with the scent of camping: cedar, greenery, earth, and a hint of smoke.  He would not mind curling up against Ei and breathing this in… His mom was smiling at him knowingly.  He was embarrassed how much he liked it.

“‘S not bad,” he handed it back to a grinning Ei.

Mitsuki turned her triumphant grin back on Eijirou.  “That hair oil is supposedly the secret to Indian ladies’ gorgeous hair.”  She waved a hand, flippantly.  “Believe it or not the Dehli airport is huge and has a lot of high-fashion stores, but I figured with you back to dyeing you’d find more use for something like this than some fancy tie.”

“It won’t hurt the dye,” his dad added.  “We checked!”

“That’s so thoughtful!”  Ei said with his usual enthusiasm.  “Thank you!”

It actually was pretty thoughtful.  Which was frustrating considering she could so thoughtlessly point out things that shouldn’t be said.  But it was also nice.

“Next time you visit,” Katsuki said, holding up the tin and the box.  “I’ll cook you something.”  Katsuki set the herbs and spices back down in their wrappings.

His father glanced at his phone.  “Ah, that’s our cab.  We should meet up again when Mitsuki and I aren’t so jetlagged!” He said as he made for the genkan.  “Tomorrow–oh!”  He paused putting on his shoes.  “You’re going to your parent’s house tomorrow aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Eijirou said it like an apology.  “But maybe next weekend?  We can do brunch!”

“Hah?”  Mitsuki looked up from where she was tugging on a jacket.  “Br-un-ch?”  She pronounced the word with three syllables.  Katsuki looked back at her, uncomprehending.

His dad had a wobbly smile on his face, his eyes sparkling.  “You two have grown up so much!”

Ei burst out laughing as Katsuki yelled:  “Hah?!  Fuck off!”  Back in the kitchen, Natsuki let out an unhappy wail.

“Ah, that’s our cue!”  Mitsuki took her husband by the arm and, smiling, lead him out the door.  The door closed behind them and it was just Katsuki and his two favorite people again.

Katsuki let out a sigh, so long and deep it was like he was trying to wring the air out from the bottom of his toes.

“That bad?”

“Wish she’d commit to being completely terrible or completely okay.”  Katsuki trudged back to the kitchen where Natsuki was squirming in her bouncer.

“Yeah…” Eijirou fiddled with the manly soap left on the counter, a wry smile on his face.  “At least tomorrow’s party will be more relaxing?”

Katsuki snorted as he pulled Natsuki from the bouncer.  Ei was right of course.  The most tension he’d faced with the Kirishimas was over what pizza toppings they wanted, and since the plan was to make a bunch of mini-pizzas, that wouldn’t even be an issue.

Natsuki settled as he cuddled her to his chest.  “Feel like I could take a nap too,” he admitted.

“You were up pretty late making the balloons.”

“Suppose we’ll have to take those down.”

“No!” Eijirou pouted.  “I love them!  Let’s leave ‘em up until they’re shriveled strawberries.”

“Fine,” Katsuki relented, rubbing Natsuki’s back as she grumbled sleepily into his shoulder.  “But after I put her down, we gotta clean up the other stuff.”

“Let me do that.” Eiijirou slung the French quilt over his arm and pressed a hand to the small of Katsuki’s back.  Katsuki allowed his husband to gently direct him to the recliner.  “You did a lot of running around during the party, you deserve a rest!”

“That was more about trying not to lose my shit at my mom,” Katsuki admitted.  Still, he sank back into the chair as Ei reclined it half way.

“What I’m hearing is: you were also doing a lot of emotional labor.”  He draped the quilt over both of them, pulling it back so it wouldn’t cover Natsuki’s head.  “You just recharge your introvert batteries and let your amped-up extrovert husband do the clean-up.”  He pulled a few throw pillows from the couch and tucked them around Katsuki so Natsuki wouldn’t slide from his grip even if he fell asleep.  Then he kissed Katsuki’s forehead and pulled back with a small smile.

Katsuki scowled.  “Gimme a proper kiss,” he demanded.

Ei’s smile grew into a grin and he obediently bent down again, pressing a sweet kiss to Katsuki’s lips.

Katsuki sighed as his husband pulled back.  He could think of many things he should be doing instead of taking a nap right now, but Natsuki’s soft breathing was a strong incentive to stay put.  Eijirou turned off the lights, closed the patio doors, and drew the blinds.  The room was thrown into shades of sleepy gray.  Natsuki murmured sleepily and he rubbed her back.  He marveled over how small she was–that his hand covered her whole back–but at the same time how big she’d gotten–this same time last year his hand had covered half her whole body.

As he fell asleep there, in his living room done up with strawberries for his daughter’s first birthday with his husband replacing photos on their foyer table he once again found himself wondering: ‘Huh, this is my life.’

He wouldn’t have it any other way.