Published: July 10th 2018, 2:24:07 am
The sky opened up and dumped an absurd amount of snow on the ground, effectively confining Jack and Koz to the cabin. The cabin had no central heating and during the day, they turned on the oven and left the door open—a makeshift space heater. At night, when no one could see the smoke, they used the fireplace.
Koz was a little paranoid they’d burn the cabin down, but it was too cold to go without. He made a mental note to get some sort of glass grate so he wouldn’t have to worry about any sparks. Another mental note: buy more canned groceries. The forecast had said the snow wouldn’t last through the week, but it was long enough that Koz worried over their supplies. Once the cold really set in, it was likely they’d go for weeks unable to drive out of the forest. They would have to stock up.
Underlying his concerns and planning was a current of frustration. He could plan all he liked, but he couldn’t do anything until the snow cleared. This was true not only for travel though; there was very little to do in general.
Koz knocked around online looking for news of any more attacks by the Thing in the Trees. He found none, which was a relief, but also meant that his boredom continued.
He sighed. Maybe he’d go through his research one more time. He went to the history bar and scrolled down the list of sites he’d just visited only to find, to his surprise, Facebook. When had he gotten on Facebook? Wait, no, this was a new computer—he’d never been on Facebook!
He looked at Jack, surprised. The young man was testing the laundry they’d strung across the room, checking to see what was dry and what wasn’t.
Koz’s brow furrowed, confused and incredulous. Surely Jack hadn’t done something so unintelligent as to sign into his social media accounts when the world thought he was dead?
“Jack, did you get on Facebook?”
Jack peeked around the trousers he was straightening. His cheeks flushed, though an indignant frown said it was from guilt and not embarrassment. “Were you snooping on my internet activity?”
“No,” Koz said, clicking on the Facebook icon. “But I am now.” A blank profile page popped up. No banner, no photo, a generic name. “Oh, thank God, you weren’t on your own account.”
Jack’s arms dropped to his sides, jaw working as guilt turning to indignation. “I’m not stupid!” He said, hurrying over to the laptop, bare feet thumping across the cabin floor. “I was just going to use it to play games!”
“Then why do you have so many notifications?” Koz’s finger just tapped the colorful indicator before the whole laptop was pulled out of his grasp.
“I added my mom as a Candy Crush friend, okay?” Jack’s ears were red as he turned his back on Koz. His finger rapidly skated across the track pad. A few clicks were the only sound for a moment before Koz found his voice.
“Jack—” Before Koz could say anything else, Jack logged off and snapped the laptop shut.
“I just want to keep tabs on her and my sister,” Jack said. He didn’t meet Koz’s eye as he offered the laptop back.
“By Facebook stalking her?” Koz took the offered laptop, fully aware that now Jack had logged off, he couldn’t delete the account.
“Why not?” Jack asked, crossing his arms. “If she doesn’t know it’s me? I just want to keep an eye on her and Emma. Wouldn’t you want to keep an eye on—“
“No,” Koz said more fiercely than he’d originally intended. Jack’s eyebrows shot up and Koz took a calming breath before next speaking. “No, I don’t want anything to do with anyone I left behind.”
Jack’s arms dropped to his sides. “What? I . . . You said you wanted a picture.”
Koz had expected Jack not to understand, although he hadn’t expected this approach. “I do,” he said, looking down at his hands. He’d given this some thought, and even thought how he would explain himself. “But those are things that I remember. I don’t want to see what’s going on now. I don’t care if that doesn’t make sense. I don’t . . . I don’t want to see pictures of Sera in her wedding dress . . .” Or holding her children—that’s what he would have said next, but he didn’t trust his voice. “. . . Or anything like that. It would only hurt worse.”
Jack let out a long breath and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Okay.” He nodded. “That makes sense. That’s not how I feel obviously, but I guess I understand how you’d feel that way.”
Koz ran a finger over the handle of his mug. He could feel the phantom fingers of depression pricking the edges of his mind and he hurried to turn away from thoughts of himself and his daughter. “So you want to keep track of everything you miss?”
“Well, yeah,” Jack said, setting his weight back on one leg. He crossed his arms, gaze falling to his feet. “And lucky for me, my mom is a Candy Crush addict. I can make sure Emma finishes school and mom moves on and doesn’t get back together with dad—“
“What if she did? You’d know and wouldn’t be able to do anything.”
Jack shrugged, his gaze sliding from his feet and across the floor, avoiding Koz’s direct gaze. “I don’t know what I’d do. Play it by ear.” He shrugged again. “And I guess I’m curious what’s going to happen to him too.”
Koz raised an eyebrow. The way Jack had always spoken of his father, it sounded like he hated him. “I would’ve thought you’d rather be done with him?”
Jack pursed his lips. He was quiet a long moment—long enough that Koz worried he’d crossed a line, but then Jack spoke: “Maybe I feel a slight societal obligation to care about him.” He frowned at the ground, not lifting his gaze to Koz’s face.
“You really don’t need to,” Koz said automatically. “You don’t owe him anything.”
Jack shook his head. “I know, but I can’t help it. I’m kind of—I kind of feel bad that he’s having this huge ordeal where everyone thinks he killed me. Which, yeah, he could’ve. If things had turned out differently, I could’ve died out here and that would’ve been his fault. He also could’ve killed me before, y’know, just from; I mean . . . lots of times! But he didn’t kill me then or now so I kind of feel like he shouldn’t be treated like a murderer he rest of his life?”
Jack ran a hand through his hair, one foot bouncing anxiously as his words picked up speed. “I’m so, so glad he’s away from my family, but I can’t help but worry about him, you know? I mean, he could easily drink himself to death or get in a car wreck, land in jail, or get fired—assuming he hasn’t been already. I feel like part of the reason he could function out in the world was because he could come home and be as dysfunctional as possible and now he’s probably going to end up dying in a ditch somewhere. I’m perfectly find never seeing him again, but I still kind of . . . care about him? Does that make sense?”
No. Even if he hadn’t been a police officer and seen abuse victims in person, Koz would still think abusers were scum. Any iota of sympathy he might have had for the man would’ve disappeared the instant Jack flippantly said his father could have killed him ‘lots of times!’ Sometimes it was hard for Koz to connect Jack with one of those bruised, frightened children he’d seen on the job, but then he’d catch a small picture of the young man’s childhood like he had just now. He felt that Jack’s father might just deserve to die in a ditch. But he couldn’t say that. That wasn’t what Jack wanted to hear. “That’s not how I feel,” Koz quoted, “but I understand how you’d feel that way.”
Jack snorted, his foot ceased its bouncing as he shifted his weight. “Yeah, sorry, I’m a little fucked up.”
“We’re both fucked up, love.”
Jack laughed and it was a softer, more genuine thing. Still, the young man didn’t meet his eye and Koz could tell he felt uncomfortable about the way the conversation had turned. He wanted to do something . . . Hug him or kiss him maybe, but they weren’t far enough in their relationship for that, were they? He shied away from the thought. It only reminded him that they hadn’t had a clear discussion on what their relationship was—just that sex was on the table now.
Koz bit his lip. They’d left things open. ‘Let’s see where this goes.’ Right now, Koz just wanted to know Jack better so he could know how best to comfort him.
‘Fuck it’, he thought, a hug was better than nothing. He stood before he could think on it anymore. Jack looked up at him and he paused, instantly embarrassed. He mentally kicked himself. Why was he so unsure of himself? Surely it wasn’t because they’d started having sex?
“Er . . .” He started. “I was thinking that it’s quite alright if you want to talk about your home life. Or anything really. I’d like to think I’m more than just your roommate.” He tried not to visibly wince.
Jack shrugged, cheeks faintly pink. “Yeah, sure. I mean . . . “ He made a face, equal parts bewildered and mystified. “We’re kind of, like . . . a thing. So . . . I guess we can talk about stuff?”
As ineloquently as he’d put it Koz couldn’t help but be reassured. ‘Thing’ was at least something.
“You can talk to me about stuff too,” Jack said quickly. “We’re in this together or . . . whatever.” His cheeks were pink as his eyes flitted away from Koz’s.
Koz snorted. Jack’s gaze found his and it seemed only then did he realize how vague he was being. They both chuckled. “That’s kind of you,” Koz said, “do you want to discuss anything while we’re still on this line of thinking?” He said it half-jokingly.
Jack shook his head, but he was smiling. “I think I’m good for now.”
Koz nodded. “In that case, why don’t I put some leftovers in the oven and we’ll watch something?”
“Yes,” Jack said, obviously relieved to be moving away from the heavy conversation.
Koz put a half-eaten pan of scalloped potatoes and ham in the oven while Jack flicked through their meager DVD collection. Koz’s gaze fell on the table, where the laptop lay beside his abandoned coffee mug. After a moment’s thought, he picked up the computer and brought it to where Jack sat on their nest of blankets and pillows.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier,” he said, setting the laptop down at Jack’s feet. “I was mostly upset that you would hide something from me because you thought I wouldn’t approve.” He tapped his fingers on the computer’s surface. “Communication is important when you are ‘a thing’, or so I’ve heard.”
Jack had seemed a little tense when Koz set the computer by him, but relaxed when Koz referred to their ‘thing’. “Okay,” he said. “That’s fair.”
Koz nodded, glancing toward the oven. They had a few minutes before the food would be warmed up. He lightened his tone as he turned back to the young man. “Okay, on a related note. It seemed you fully expected me to know this but I don’t and I’m sensing I might be teased—so please don’t tease me—but, what is Candy Crush?”
*****
Koz woke to the pleasant sensation of light blasting through his eyelids. They needed to get some curtains. He was a morning person, but he preferred mornings where the sun wasn’t around yet. With a jaw-cracking yawn, he rolled over and found Jack facing away from him, still quite asleep with his back to the window. The pale morning light seemed to shimmer on his skin.
Neither of them had bothered to dress after they fucked the day before—they’d just grabbed some snacks and the remote and snuggled up for a movie night. So Koz could see the whole expanse of Jack’s nape and then the top of his shoulders and mid-back, before the blanket dipped too low for him to see any more.
It may have been creepy, but he allowed himself a moment to drink in the sight. He watched the way Jack’s angular shoulder blades shifted with each breath. How he could just see the outline of his ribs on the inhale—much different than how Jack had looked when they first met, half starved and looking like a wild forest creature. He was still just as striking though. There was no other way to describe it: he was gorgeous and all at once, Koz wanted to touch him.
Jack had been open and enthusiastic about Koz’s sexual advances until now, but he wasn’t an early riser (unlike the hard-on starting between Koz’s legs). There was a chance he would wake up grumpy instead of amorous, but Koz was feeling just self-indulgent enough to risk it. Gently, he shuffled toward the younger man, trying not to press himself too close in case Jack didn’t appreciate an erection digging into his thigh first thing in the morning.
He slung one arm over the younger man’s side, the other propped him up, giving him enough leverage to kiss Jack’s ear. “Jack,” he said softly, kissing his cheek. “Jack.”
Jack made a sound too indecipherable to identify if he was awake or not. “Jack,” Koz whispered, kissing the soft skin just beneath his ear.
He dragged his lips down the side of Jack’s neck, kissing all along the way. He nipped gently at the thick muscle at his nape, then pressed his lips to the spot and sucked hard.
Jack lay still, but Koz could tell the boy was rousing because his breathing was beginning to pick up—and his scent.
Koz groaned against Jack’s flesh, eyes rolling shut as the scent of his partner’s excitement greeted him. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of it, or the unique way it seemed to spark his own arousal.
The hand that had been resting against Jack’s belly gained purpose, sliding fingers slowly down the plane of Jack’s abdomen. Taught muscles coiled beneath his touch and Koz nearly purred in delight. Seemingly on their own, his hips shifted, pressing his length against the cleft of Jack’s ass.
Koz raised his head to kiss Jack’s ear again, but the young man turned his head and captured his lips with his own.
Jack tasted like morning breath—Koz probably did too. He found he didn’t mind it, instead he felt a sense of nostalgia. It’d been too long since Koz had had a partner that he was close enough with for there to be early morning kisses.
He broke away to breathe and smirked down at the young man. Jack’s eyes were still bleary from sleep, one cheek had a crease from where he’d slept on a fold in the pillowcase, and his hair was thoroughly mussed. Koz felt something warm and nameless swell in his chest, it felt dangerous and wonderful and new and familiar all at once.
Oh.
“I—“ Koz nearly spoke his thought out loud before he clamped down. Now didn’t feel like the right time. Was it the right time? He should probably wait. They’d just started sleeping together! It could just be a by-product of the lingering scent of excitement in the air. At the very least he should wait until they both weren’t so thoroughly distracted.
Shit, he’d been talking. He needed to finish talking! “Good morning,” he said.
Jack laughed. “Took you a second, you sure you’re awake?”
Fuck. It was like a floodgate had opened and now he’d realized it, it was just bursting through him—Jack’s laugh might just kill him it made him so happy.
“I’m sure,” he said, trying to keep his thoughts focused. “Sleep well?”
“Fine,” Jack said nonchalantly. “You?” Like Koz hadn’t woken him up to seduce him, only to flounder like a fish out of water once he’d gotten Jack’s attention.
“Wonderfully,” Koz said automatically.
Jack smirked and squirmed his hips, rubbing against Koz’s erection. Koz let out a shaky breath and Jack bit his lip, pupils edging wide.
“Here,” Jack said suddenly. He rolled away and reached for the oil they’d been using for lubricant, still lying where they’d left it the night before. He put it between the two of them. “I vote for lazy morning sex.”
Koz let out a light chuckle. “All right.”
Then Jack lay flat on his stomach and lay his head on his arms. He looked at Koz suggestively, quirking an eyebrow. “Since this is technically your idea, I vote you do all the work.”
Koz flushed, his eyes subconsciously slid down to Jack’s ass. They hadn’t done it that way yet. Somehow Jack had a tendency to bring out the submissive in Koz. Jack shook his ass and Koz was sure he was embarrassingly flushed as he wrenched his gaze from the lovely view, back up to Jack’s eyes.
“May I?” Koz asked.
Jack smiled. “Of course.”
Needing no more urging, Koz pushed back the blanket and sat up, reaching for the oil. He smeared a bit of this onto his first two fingers. With one hand, he gently parted Jack’s cheeks, taking a moment to massage the muscle beneath his palm before stroking a slick finger along his entrance. His cock throbbed as he felt and saw Jack twitch at his touch.
Koz watched as he circled the flesh with his slick finger, using a teasingly light touch. Jack breathed in deeply and Koz’s gaze slid upward to watch the way Jack’s back rose with the deep breath. On the exhale, Koz felt the muscles beneath his finger go lax. He couldn’t help but smile, fondness snagging onto him once more. He rested his free hand on Jack’s shoulder and leaned down to press a kiss to his spine.
Jack chuckled and then gasped as Koz slid a finger inside of him. He tensed for just a moment before he let out another breath and relaxed. Koz took note of his technique for the next time he was on the receiving end. Slowly, he drew his finger in and out, hooking the finger back and drawing a soft, pleased sound from Jack’s lips. Koz kissed his shoulder again and inserted another finger.
Jack was tight around him. The young man took several deep shaky breaths and Koz waited for him to adjust.
“Mmf,” Jack grumbled, “move already.”
Koz chuckled as he sat back. He moved his free hand from Jack’s shoulder, back to his ass, holding him open so he could watch as he pumped his fingers in and out. Jack’s breath hitched and his thighs trembled. The young man pressed his face into his arms and let out a pleasant mumbling sound—Koz had no idea what he said, but it certainly sounded positive. They could do better though. He pressed in, searching for Jack’s prostate. Jack let him know when he’d found it.
“Oh, fuck!” Jack jerked, his muscles clenching around Koz’s finger. “That’s it,” he said breathlessly.
Koz was throbbing, anticipation thrumming through his veins. He watched as his fingers slid in and out of Jack’s body, his other hand kneading Jack’s cheek. He’d never been much into spanking, but he found himself thinking Jack’s ass would look very cute with a bit of a blush to it. Perhaps another time, he had something else in mind for now.
“Spread your legs, love.” Jack complied readily and Koz resituated himself between his thighs.
Jack moaned as the tip of Koz’ fingers grazed his prostate one last time before he finally removed his fingers and sat back. Jack looked over his shoulder to watch Koz slick himself with oil and Koz got a good look at his flushed face. God, sometimes he forgot how gorgeous Jack was. He felt affection burst through his chest and growled. It was almost painful, this feeling, but it was a good kind of pain.
He slipped inside his partner, gentle and slow.
“Fuck,” Jack groaned. Koz kissed across the back of Jack’s shoulders, pushing deeper and deeper. When he was fully sheathed he paused.
His arms were shaking already. He lowered himself down to his elbows so he was pressed flush to Jack’s back. Feeling Jack’s breathing against his chest was intimate in a whole different way that had Koz moaning against Jack’s neck.
“A-are you comfortable?” He asked. “I’m not too heavy?”
“No,” Jack purred sleepily. “You’re wonderful.”
Koz kissed the back of his neck and rotated his hips, grinding his hips further against Jack’s backside. Jack was dizzyingly hot, tight and exquisite. Koz grit his teeth and resisted the urge to start thrusting.
Jack let out a sigh, not of arousal, but of relaxation, and it made Koz’s heart pick up speed and his stomach tighten to think of Jack enjoying this in such a way.
He switched directions, circling his hips the other way. His foreskin pulled back as the head of his cock rubbed Jack’s prostate, pulling a soft moan from both of them. Koz could stay inside Jack for hours, he decided. If only Jack would allow it.
“Koz,” Jack’s whine was muffled against his arms. He lifted his head and looked over his shoulder at Koz, hair still rumpled, face still flushed, but this time with an adorably drowsy pout on his face. “Go faster,” he said.
Koz laughed and leaned forward to give Jack a quick kiss. “As you wish.”
Jack snickered and then gasped as Koz pulled back, only to snap forward. He began to thrust in earnest, turned on by the wet sounds of their bodies connecting and his and Jack’s uneven breathing.
Jack rocked his hips in time with Koz’s thrusts, his body squirming as he struggled to find the leverage. Koz pressed in deep, pushing Jack into the mattress. If he weren’t pressed so close he might not have heard the small grunt as Jack let out as he was pushed down. Koz grit his teeth, his orgasm building. “Are you all right?” He rasped.
“Mmyes,” Jack moaned into the mattress, his arms tucked under his chest. “Harder.”
Koz let out a breathless laugh and made a point to put his weight into his thrusts, pushing Jack into the mattress. He was rewarded with muffled, but very enthusiastic, replies. The part of his brain still capable of thought catalogued this reaction for later.
The scent of their mixed arousal was nearly overpowering, pulling Koz toward his climax.
Suddenly Jack gave a sharp jerk beneath him and let out a strained serious of curse words—Koz could smell the younger man’s scent pique and it drove him over the edge. He pressed in deep, burying his nose in the crock of Jack’s neck. He put all his weight on the younger man as he released inside of him.
Then Koz went still, panting for breath as blood rushed through his ears. He could still smell their arousal lingering in the air, but it seemed muted now that his body was sated. He pressed a weary, wet kiss to Jack’s neck, lifting himself back up onto his elbows. “Did you finish?”
“Mmfyeah,” Jack said into the mattress.
“I wasn’t too heavy, was I?”
Jack lifted his head, sluggish with sleepiness, but with a smile in his eyes. “Yeah, but . . . it was fucking hot so . . .”
Koz chuckled, feeling somewhat flustered by the admission. He felt a little regretful having to lift himself up off of Jack. His cock instantly felt chilled and he hissed. Time to clean up and get dressed he supposed.
Jack didn’t seem willing to move so Koz got up and fetched a wet towel from the bathroom. He was reminded how Jack cleaned him up after their first time—but now the situation was reversed.
It took little prompting to get Jack to roll over and let Koz clean his front. Koz was just thinking he should strip the bed and clean the sheets when he realized Jack had fallen back asleep.
He looked so peaceful—haphazardly splayed across the mattress, naked. With one arm draped on the pillow behind his head and the light kissing his skin, he looked like a piece of art. If Jack had been awake, Koz might have been tempted to make a ‘draw me like one of your French girls’ joke. Instead, he drew the blanket up to Jack’s chin and let him rest.
Koz admired him for a moment longer. Jack’s lashes looked like snowflakes on his cheeks and the light form outside nearly made him glow. Koz’s heart clenched painfully as his face flushed. He bit back a helpless groan. It’d been a long, long time since he’d felt this way, but it was a difficult feeling to forget: he was falling in love with Jack.