Published: December 7th 2024, 8:47:58 am
Hi babesšā¦ as we approach this new year and it hits another year of ME being online sharing my all for you, Iāve been left thinking and feeling some new emotions with myself.Ā Now, please do NOT let this type confuse you.Ā MY PAGE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Just YOU being behind this wall and maybe reading this message + the consistent extra loving (from someš§ ) alone has made all this craziness feel a little bit less and the reason āpostā is clicked on any platformā¦ Maybe right now and with the eyes I have this could be regretful of me and maybe Iām going to ājust kiddingā in an hour but as Iām typing and feeling this for another week. I think I need an official break. Iām sorry for another long type but I feel you deserve and I owe you since I answer each of you to explain where my heads at after allowing me to have your time and experience/know youāre brain AS MUCH as we have together.
Soo yesā¹ļø I need some time to be able to think what I want / should do with myself and now life because I donāt think onlyfans is going to work out for me if itās been ALL THIS TIME. ://///ā¦. Iām not just having a bad month on here and giving up and running away Itās because Iām stressing and have stressed myself out too much and also now feeling negative again with myself at the same time that itās getting harder and harder to spend so much time on here (as u might of seen/read my storyās becoming more negative everywhere) and thatās not fair to you. I hope I have fully caught some of your interests because I will continue to be sharing, replying and checking this.
Also donāt get confused. You are and always will be my main priority when sharing online. In hopes of this all picking up/ working out for me I will continue to post on ALL MY SOCIAL PLATFORMS but as you might think itās mean and rude of me. I canāt afford to spend this much time/hours/days/nights on here and in my brain to not feel fully stable. I knew making this account and showing myself was going to be hard, but I think Iām just a little brainwashed and all my alone time has me forgetting about my real life, wants and needs.
Lastly, for those who always think i have something to hide or that i am not staying authentic to myself .. i slightly get it but i mainly get that these moments donāt look good on myself (so I figured Iād address it here too) but im real and yeahā¦ pretty for a boyš but a REAL living person. Took 4 years now to grow my hair out, get half a syringe of lip filler, rhinoplasty nose job and good eats / taking care of my body + good poses, lighting and angles. Try and think Iām like someone you are in a talking/dating stage with. I have boundaries especially high ones being newer to giving up myself online and honestly very little sexual experience. so im sorry I havenāt been showing enough in my videos or as frequently to satisfy you but i do this all myself and it has only been that way so with every share of mine I felt they were fair at the point i am at as a ācontent creatorā. It also started to bother me thinking i could be talking to the persons who post my shares for free so it just all round felt safer when giving up myself for my brain and well being to distract you with what I looked at as my bests out of many takes set posts on my wall for the set price and then giving back extras and things I am shy about to tips. which I now realize is another thing I did incorrectly, unfairly and a reason that is leaving me so stuck. I have options to make this best for us and not an end I just have to feel good and take a step backā¦ I would be amazed if you even cared enough to read to this point and I just wanted to say if we have talked in full. i mean/meant everything and really would feel regret never hearing from you again, but i get it. I get you. I hope you get and can try and get me.
Thank you
Ashton @xoxald