Holy fuck you guys i’m so fucking sorry for just dropping of..
Published: June 18th 2023, 6:51:15 am
Holy fuck you guys i’m so fucking sorry for just dropping off for the last few weeks without really saying anything. I had never had surgery before and didn’t expect it to take me down so hard lol. I’m starting to feel a little better but i still have a couple weeks left of having to be pretty goddamn gentle with these bitches so please please just consider what it would be like to have ur nipples cut off and sewn back in a new place while also taking off and extra 2+ inches of skin off ur under boob and then shoving an implant under ur chest muscle and sewing the skin back up as tight as possible before u get mad at me for not posting lol it really fucking hurt.
I also just kind of needed a little break from This. I’ve been single and haven’t been thinking about sex for honestly a few months now so having to make myself into a sexual character 24/7 on the internet becomes so fucking exhausting when that’s not at all how i am in real life (at least for right now).
I haven’t had a good consistent sexual partner in over 6 months so the only kind of “sex” i’ve been having is when i feel obligated to act overly sexual on camera while i’m riding a dildo alone in my room so i can have content for my onlyfans. it just started to feel so inauthentic and having ownership over my own sexual identity and expression is extremely important to me because i do love and respect the entire aspect of human sexuality as a whole. I had been putting my dating and sex life on hold for the last couple of months so i could focus on my birthday and the surgery but now that all of that’s finally over and i’ll be finished recovering in a few weeks (and i’m gonna start seeing a new psychiatrist to treat this little bout of depression that’s been following me around for the last few months and i think that will also help tremendously with getting me back to feeling like myself again), so i just wanted to say i really do appreciate so much u guys being patient and understanding with me and the way my brain is. doing this kind of work for a living can be a little dehumanizing sometimes and of course that’s to be expected with most types of jobs, but i really really don’t want to burn myself out on doing this and have it become something i resent that makes me lose touch with who i am outside of being a sex doll for strangers on the internet because there is so so so much more to me aside from ✨Thiccameron✨. i try so hard to compartmentalize this job to avoid it taking over my life and becoming my entire identity.
AND THIS IS NOT AT ALL ME SAYING I DONT OVERALL ENJOY DOING WHAT I DO!!!! because i remember when i first started doing this full time last summer i was freshly broken up with and horny as fuck and my sex drive was out of control and it was so fucking exciting and FUN getting to spend all day doing nothing but making content and interacting with u guys because i was just that genuinely horny and excited about the idea of getting a bunch of dudes off for me because that’s hot as fuck. god i miss that so much it was so great u guys seriously :( i’d love to be able to get back to a place where i feel like that again but i think this break i’ve taken has been EXTREMELY necessary for me to not have to think about sex as such a mechanical obligation in the form of recording masturbation vids for a little while. i’ve really even only masturbated like twice in the last month because there’s just been so much other shit on my mind u know??? and feeling obligated to record urself masturbating when u don’t fucking feel like it is NOT a good way to maintain a healthy relationship with sex lol.
(((( and trust me, i’ve definitely felt the financial punch in the gut from taking so much time off from recording and promoting so i’m looking forward to getting back to hustling with content making and posting for u guys bc tbh actually being able to see the difference in the amount of money i make when i work even harder by posting more content or getting more subscribers and having so many people wanna get themselves off for me makes me sooooo much hornier and more motivated to keep fucking myself for u lmaooo)))
p.s. the implants will move down once the incisions heal and they settle into place so they’re not gonna look that stuff and high on my chest once they heal in a few weeks i can’t wait 🤗 i think they came out perfectly, even tho i think there’s a possibility that the right nipple might end up lookin a lil crooked bc they took too much skin on one side but i think that makes them even cuter. they are still technically the exact same bra size as i was before surgery isn’t that so crazy hahaha??? but that’s exactly what i asked for so i really couldn’t be happier with the results! <3
(and before u ask i have been to anxious and anti confrontational to even try to PEEK at any of the messages in my inbox rn bc i’m scared y’all are mad at me so no i haven’t seen ANY of y’all’s dms (i currently have over 172 waiting for me just lingering over my shoulder like a horror movie demon) but i swear i swear i swear i will check every single one of them eventually whenever i do get back to checking everything and it’s eating me alive that i haven’t done it yet which is why i’m continuing to avoid it i’m so goddamn sorry ahhhhhahahah😭)
