Virginity Pledge
Your dating life has really never worked out for you, has it? Your entire adult life is a collection of rejection after rejection. You're still a virgin, and after so much refusal you believe you're totally unfuckable at this point.
Perhaps it's your personality that's repulsive, or perhaps it's the fact that you're so chronically online and addicted to porn and women can smell that desperation from a mile away. Perhaps the reason you're alone and sexless is because you're just really fucking ugly.
I know it hurts to hear this. It always hurts to hear the truth. However, I finally have some good news for you. Unlike vanilla girls, I still have use for someone like you... But to be of use to me, you must swear off pussy, FOREVER.