Perry in 2021. **Please don't read if you're not interested ..
Published: January 1st 2021, 5:05:53 am
Perry in 2021. **Please don't read if you're not interested in my personal life. Sorry to disappoint but this isn't erotica haha.
I started my career in this industry in February 2020 (when I first turned 18). Beforehand, I was working as a tutor (chemistry and physics science) and as a casual at a retail store. Shifts for both jobs were sporadic and depended highly on the time of the year. I entered into the industry with the goal of making money in my mind. I wasn't struggling, but I wanted to have a head start in life and had many aspirations to bring future financial security to both me and my family.
In 2020, there were plentiful times where I worked through an injury (have atrophic vaginitis from polycystic ovary syndrome), gave people second chances(when I definitely shouldn't have), didn't stand my ground when people haggled or when they were rude or threatening etc. I chose to either ignore it, try to make the situation better or often I would cry and break down. Why was I being such an idiot LOL? A variety of reasons. But the main reason was because I was scared of people writing hateful things etc which in turn would spread for others to see, who would often gain an incorrect perception of me and of course, impact my business. I felt the need to prove everyone wrong - I leaked my own ID to prove my age and my student ID to prove my degree. How stupid and naive I was indeed. At least the word "liar" on my name was cleared, but for what? It wasn't worth it at all.
I really cared about people's feelings and how they would impact my business. After-all, this allowed me to keep a roof over my head, and afforded me little luxuries like taking an uber to university instead of the bus and train. This let me sleep a bit later, spend more time doing other things like lounging around on the internet. You know, just things like that.
But on top of that, people's assumptions really hurt me. I'm 18 man, how thick can my skin get (not that thick apparently). When people call you entitled, or compare you to other girls (yikes!), or put you down based on your appearance/age/choice of degree, it does sting (wow shocking right?!). It doesn't hurt me at all anymore, I've learned to accept that people will always have assumptions, criticize and judge. It's just human nature, and I know I do it too but less overtly.
However, 2021 is honestly the year where I won't be giving a fuck to put it simply. I will be putting myself first this year. I barely blocked anyone (or even talked back) for the most of 2020 because of my assertiveness issues. But this year will be different. Why? I am prioritizing my mental health over monetary gain and people's perceptions of me this year. I've already done the fast run to climb the wealth ladder.
I'm done now, I never wanted to be rich, and I'm still not. My goal in fact was just to make enough money to make it through university comfortably, and live comfortably. But I managed to do so much more than that. Not because I chose to, but because it's been really hard to break out of the cycle of working more just to have a little more. Perhaps because my family never had wealth, or maybe I'm an overachiever by genetics who knows hehe.
Now at the age of 18, I have a house loan, I'm able to take my mum to Europe (her dream) when borders permit, high rank in my university with a scholarship, connections (friends and co-workers) I thought I would never have, the most supportive partner I could ask for and the ability to really control my path in life. I'm proud of myself honestly, and I wish I could share more of my achievements because they are awesome, why have I been wasting my time getting upset over things I won't even remember in another year?
So what are my goals now? Honestly, not to sound lame or clique or anything but I just want to be happy :). I do love my career choice. I have the best clients ever. With my decreasing worry of how people perceive me, I'm able to communicate very clearly my likes and dislikes and this is the formula for amazing experiences.
As I said, entered into the industry for money reasons and yes, the money -- fucking superb. But the amount of knowledge and skills this occupation has equipped me with is astronomically the better outcome.
Sorry for the long read. But that’s a reflection of Perry in 2020. Hopefully more good things to come in 2021!
Have a lovely year everyone :), I know it's hard. I've been requested to share more personal details on my life so that is what I will do.
Perry x