Non sexual stream of conscious thoughts post warning:
About..
Published: November 15th 2023, 10:00:22 pm
Non sexual stream of conscious thoughts post warning:
About to go spar, and I can’t express how grateful I am to be able to challenge myself the way I have the last few weeks. I’ve never pushed so hard into my training and building a little discipline again in my life has been so helpful for my state of mind. I just want to give back everything that you have given to me. I want to show you how thankful I am, I know I can come across indifferent when I go through long bouts of not posting anything new.
When I started back training this summer after my move, I was inconsistent. I had an excuse for everything. Whether it was “traveling for work” while I had excessive amounts of videos ready to edit, or that I was just too exhausted to come to training. I thought my training partners would see my passion and love for the art in the one or two times I would come to class each week. I made few connections and didn’t feel the community that I craved so badly from the first gym I trained at.
After a good bit of reflection, I’m still learning that my consistency in showing up is one of the main things that has brought me success in my own training, as well as making genuine connection in a community. I feel as if it works the same way with my community online and even personal relationships. I have been given such a great opportunity, and yet I squander it hoping the people on the other side of a screen will feel my gratitude and passion through my sporadic posting, and inconsistent presence.
I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. I know that I’ll make mistakes and even need breaks, but I want to show up for you more. I will show up for you more. I want to walk this path, and I will show you that. If I can show up to get punched and kicked, I can show up for you. Thank you for being patient with me while I grow into the person I’m supposed to be.
