There is so much that happens to me around my body that has ..
Published: November 30th 2022, 2:46:54 pm
There is so much that happens to me around my body that has me traumatized. I rarely talk about it publicly because I don't want people looking at me and thinking "she's always complaining, what is she complaining about." And/or people somehow think I brought it on myself and deserve to be treated foul because I show my body.
The thing about me is, my body is VERY sensitive. I am very touchy. I can be ticklish (and I hate being tickled) but I am very particular about touch. If I don't like how someone is touching me I will let them know. I have had lovers who understand my body and ones who have taken the time to slow down and tune in. But there have been so many men who have seen my body and all they want to do is touch it and if I gently tell them that the way they are touching me is bothering me, they get mad and offended. I have gone through this in dating situations and relationships. It is traumatizing. Some people think I'm mean but I'm really nice and giving. Often times too giving and too empathetic. I can't stand drama and I always seek to get up and quietly remove myself from the drama. I can't stand men who feel entitled to my body. Men who feel like they can touch me any kind of way and/or do whatever and I'm supposed to be ok with that. And if I express that I'm not they are getting mad at me like I'm trying to be difficult. I seriously can't stand it.
Something REALLY traumatic happened to me last night and I am trying HARD not to be bothered but I literally feel like I could cry over and over again and I feel like no one will understand. It is something I want to speak about publicly but I don't trust doing it on social media and I keep saying I am going to talk more on this site. But now it's time. It's time for me to start talking about some things. I have had a lot of experiences and have a lot to teach and share.
And maybe it will help you all understand me better.
Now let me try to spend the day shaking off this trauma and doing my best to be unbothered....
