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I'm alive!!! I've just been having so much fun with my new deck lol (yes I am on the floor). These days, I like to keep my life private. I don't really like the pressure of posting on social media because I wanna savor real life XD I feel I'm pressured to be someone else I'm not when I fixate on it too much.
๐ผ I've never been open about this because I'm too shy and I don't really wanna exploit the one pure thing in my life which is music. As cheesy as it sounds, it really has saved me multiple times. It also keeps me sane and hopeful. I love music. I'm not aiming to be a "professional" or famous musician. I just love it. I love sounds, they speak to me in ways no one else can. Not even myself.
I've always wanted a midi and deck, but I set it aside for "more important things" (bills, rent) but I love music so much I honestly don't mind if I'm starving or homeless as long as I can make it and be surrounded by it.
I was not confident enough in myself either and everyone on here has given me so much motivation. Thank you for supporting me and helping me get here. I look back and realize how meek I was. I'm still socially anxious and awkward but I'm def more of a yapper and dancer now ๐ธ
I hope this reminds you to try. I find Homer Simpson so funny because I'm def him when I lived in fear and was too afraid to try things, but just do it! Sure, most of the time, it won't work out as planned, but that one time it does makes it so worth it. It's easier said than done, but believe in yourself more. It's a way to be kinder to yourself too! :))
Hope you're ok and taking care of yourself! Have a good weekend~
xx
-Z.
