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To build a relationship or friendship, you need openness and trust. Sincerity. You often have to go into your vulnerability and first of all try to understand and hear yourself. What's going on with you now? Why do you feel that way after these words or actions of your interlocutor? And how do you feel? Can you name this feeling? Sometimes it's not immediately clear. And then you should pay attention and examine yourself. I like to go deep. Into the depths of yourself, into the depths of the one who is opposite. It is important for me to understand what is behind all this and why it is for each of us. I'm not interested in superficial communication, chatting about clothes or discussing the personal lives of show business stars. This is not my story. But I am so happy when I realize that I have managed to build a strong friendship with my friends, I am glad when I have the courage to come and honestly talk about the fact that now something has gone wrong in one place. And be able to fix it, cure it where it hurts. And when you live at a distance, it's very, very easy to let everything go in one place. You don't need a lot of intelligence. You just need to pretend that everything is the same at a distance as it is up close. But no. Maintaining long-distance relationships and friendships has many nuances. Here any feeling, feelings can be hyperbolized, or vice versa silenced, hidden ... a lot depends on what rules of the game you set at the entrance. What is important to you in this friendship or in a relationship? How often do I call up, how often do I communicate? How often do I see you? And what is called support from a distance? And what is support for you anyway? Love? Friendship? And what is the purpose of all this?

A person loves the month in which he was born the most. I want my February this year to be as cool as Statham in his movies. February is so cool that it can afford to be May or September, warming up the daytime temperature to +28. A hot man. And as spring approaches, I want to wish you happiness and cozy people nearby. Once in every person's life, it is necessary completely harmless, very sincere and open-minded people appear. When you get to know them, you want to smile endlessly, and in general, the feeling of happiness somehow imperceptibly covers from head to toe. Meetings with such people pass too quickly, because you begin to ignore the time, the cups of tea you have drunk and the changes in the topics discussed. Somehow you suddenly realize that this person is already close and dear. Even the fact that a couple of weeks, days or minutes have passed since your acquaintance becomes unimportant .It's just that in the company of such people, you seem to become better, warmer and more harmonious yourself. At the moment of parting, you want to hug this magical person very tightly, because only with him you can be yourself, only to him you can lay out everything that has been waiting for your listener in your soul for so long. You seem ready to follow him even into unknown distances, conquer the seas and oceans, anywhere, just to feel this indescribable "comfort". One day you suddenly want to be the same. I want to radiate warmth and light, give joy to other people and do good. Then you break away from your overly important affairs and cook a delicious dinner for your parents who come home exhausted after work, then you write to friends who haven 't heard from you for a long time that you missed you and don't mind meeting the other day, then you open up to yourself from a completely different side.Being a cozy person is very pleasant, although it is probably incredibly difficult, because in the modern world people are used to receiving, too rarely giving something in return. But it's worth a try… WITH GRATITU

Part 6 - The final part After about a month of this kind of life, I realized that it was impossible to live like this. I started looking for a doctor on the Internet myself, because I knew for sure that something was wrong with me. I managed to find a good psychiatrist. After passing several psychological tests, he said, "I have every reason to believe that you have bipolar disorder." I told him about the adventure that had happened to me. The doctor explained to me that this was the manic stage of my disorder and that all I needed was to choose the right drugs. When I came home with a certificate and prescriptions for medicines, I was again overcome by hysteria. I cried because no one believed me, it seemed to me that I was betrayed. I cried because I found out that I have a mental disorder. I cried because I was afraid to be treated. I cried because I wasted a whole year of my life until I could figure out what was happening to me. I cried until I felt all the negativity come out of me. It was like I was zeroed out. The next morning, I bought the necessary medicines, informed my family about my diagnosis, shaming them for not believing me. I left the anonymous addicts group. I started treatment. The condition began to improve every day. My life has become normal and even more than normal. In August 2023, I stopped taking pills. The doctor said I don't need it anymore. Yes, sometimes I get depressed or euphoric, but at a very low level. It looks like a typical PMS for any girl. And the most important thing is that I am aware of my condition and no longer do stupid things. I've learned to live with it and enjoy every day. But the feeling of resentment still wakes up in me sometimes. After all, if at least someone had believed me then, I could have sorted myself out much earlier.

Part 5 I was asked a lot of questions that I didn't have the strength to answer, and then I was offered hospitalization. My family told me that if I refused, they would turn away from me. In tears and misunderstanding, I went to the ward, where my phone was taken away, they gave me a bunch of pills and took tests. By the way, the tests, as I said, were good, no prohibited substances were found. But they wouldn't let me out. A psychologist spoke to me and I stayed in this clinic for another 4 days. The euphoria was gone. I plunged into myself and began to remember the past week. I was scared to realize that I was behaving very strangely and inadequately. I just lay with my face in the pillow and didn't understand anything. What's wrong with me?! When I was discharged, I was forced to go to groups in the community of anonymous addicts. Why, because I didn't use illegal substances and my tests were absolutely clean? I was indignant in tears. But my family, after talking with the doctor, decided that they would not believe these tests. They threatened me – if I didn't go to groups, then everyone would know that I was in a clinic for addicts. I had no choice but to attend groups. When I tried to tell the people I met there that it was a mistake and that I was actually leading a sober lifestyle, they just reassured me that I had nothing to be ashamed of, and that at first everyone said so… Every day I cried into my pillow, it seemed to me that the whole world was against me, no one believed me, even the closest people. I began to look worse, I didn't even want to get up from the pastel. There was a deep depression. I didn't want to eat and couldn't sleep. To help myself fall asleep, I drank several glasses of wine. P.S.The next part will be the final one.

Part 4 I was generating a hundred ideas every minute, talking very loudly, getting confused in my thoughts. My eyes were shining like I was crazy. This went on for several days, until I finally lost my adequacy. I approached people on the street and offered to visit the salon, I went to different offices and invited them to cooperate with us, I went to other beauty salons and invited them to take our name and become part of a network of beauty salons… At one point, I walked to the football field, took off my shoes and lay down in the very center... it seemed to me that this was how I was charged with the energy of the sun and the earth. Do I need to explain that I literally went crazy? Of course, this behavior did not go unnoticed. There were rumors in the team that I was using illegal substances, and the director, taking care of me, called my relatives and reported my strange behavior. My family tried in every way to lure me to their home, and when they succeeded, they locked me up. I didn't understand what was going on! For what? After all, my life has just started to get better, I have found a great job, I have a lot of ideas and I urgently need to do things, and I am locked in the house without explanation. I became hysterical, I cried and asked to be let out, I began to destroy everything in my path, hoping that the door would open. Then they tied me up and said they had called for help for me and I needed to calm down. A car arrived and I was taken to a CLINIC FOR ADDICTS. I was shocked when I realized this! Why, for what? After all, I lead a sober lifestyle! Why would my closest people treat me like this?? To be continued...

Part 3 It was the most interesting interview in my life, it lasted almost 2 hours! We talked about life, about values, about interests, about work. I saw in this man a brilliant leader and a brilliant salesman. At the end of our conversation, there was only one thought in my head: "I want to work with this person at any cost, because I can learn a lot from him. No amount of money can buy such an experience." When I looked at my palms, there were no bumps on them. Oh, a miracle! It was as if my body had deliberately provoked such a symptom so that I would run away from that job to this one and make the right decision. It's crazy! It's a sign! I see the signs! A couple of days later, I was standing at the reception desk in this salon. To be honest, I'm not much of an administrator – I kept confusing payments, losing receipts, and signing people up for the wrong dates. But what I did well was energize people with the desire to visit this salon. Because I fell in love with this place. It seemed to me that if everyone in the city found out about him, then there would be no shortage of customers, and we could open another beauty salon, and then another, and then turn it into a network… It was as if I felt like an owner dreaming of scaling. These thoughts became more and more intrusive every day. I felt a surge of strength and energy, a powerful euphoria. I almost stopped sleeping and didn't feel hungry, worked hard and walked home across the city – I had so much energy. I didn't notice how my behavior was becoming inadequate. P.S. I remind you that these are real photos of that time :)

Part 2 In the first one, I was immediately offered the position of administrator and I decided not to go to the next interview. When I sat down at my desk, I found a strange lump on my palm that had not been there before. It began to distract me, I looked at my hands and did not understand what it was. After a few hours, it seemed to me that it had increased in size, and I could no longer think of anything else. I started searching for information on the Internet and found similar photos with the caption "palm paresis". There were scary things written in the article that my hand might stop moving. I was very scared and took time off from my internship on my first day and ran to the emergency room! When I rang the bell, I was asked about my problem. I said I suspected palmar paresis. I was told that I need to go to the clinic. I was very upset because visiting a city polyclinic always takes a long time – first you need to make an appointment, and then wait a few days for a doctor's appointment. And I remembered about the second interview, because the second beauty salon was right next to this hospital. I called the director, and by a lucky chance he was free and agreed to see me much earlier. I walked to this place. When I walked in, I couldn't contain my joy. It was a large two-storey beautiful beauty salon with a medical license. There were manicures, hairdressers, cosmetologists, massages and a bunch of other services. Literally everything that can be imagined. I was met by a nice man in a Ferrari branded T-shirt and invited to the office. P.S. I didn't think that the post would be so long) The sequel will be tomorrow :*

Part 1 I really felt it a few years ago. Then I worked in a popular cosmetics store as a makeup consultant, rented a small inexpensive apartment in a bad area of our city. I was a good salesperson and received a stable average salary for our city and planned to go for a raise at work. But it's time for quarantine during the coronavirus epidemic. Our mall was closed for a long time. At work, I was paid a percentage of sales, there was no salary. I didn't understand what to do, the accumulated money was barely enough for rent and I plunged into a deep depression. To help myself somehow, I began to read books on psychology and esotericism. And one of these books literally turned my life around, and also revealed a very scary thing about me. When I read this, my body literally filled with energy, I felt goosebumps on my head. I was catching insights one by one, thinking how stupid I was that I had forgotten such simple truths. I was overcome by waves of euphoria and I really liked this state. I made a decision – you don't know what to do – do something. And I came up with the idea to sign up for a large number of interviews, even for a job that I would never have worked in. I decided that this way I would be able to give life more opportunities to help me – I would meet and talk with different people and definitely find my way. Going through the interviews one by one, I felt that I was doing everything right. These were real estate offices, remote sales offices, grocery stores, factories, and even food delivery – everything that could work during the quarantine period. During this time, the beauty salons returned to work, but the shops were still closed. I signed up for interviews at two such salons. P.S. sorry for the picture quality, I'm posting real photos of that time)

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