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The other day I lost a close friend of mine. No, luckily she is fine, but after our last meeting she wrote to me: "I decided to stop our close communication. But sometimes I will borrow money from you and you can ask me for help if you need it." At first I thought it was some kind of joke. We hadn't been apart for over 20 years. Yes, we had become very different over the years, but that bond, like a kinship bond, was very dear to me. I insisted on talking to her and found out that the reason is my personal boundaries. For example, during our meeting after a small amount of alcohol she starts calling everyone and inviting them to our party, and I ask her not to do that. She also doesn't like that I ask her not to approach men on the street with the offer to "meet my beautiful friend", i.e. me. In her opinion, all this restricts her freedom. After all, if she wants to behave in a crackpot way, she can't do it because of my requests. But it turns out that she wants me to accept her freedom (even if it interferes with me personally) without accepting my restrictions. It's very hard to put into words. But I feel very broken, like after a divorce. #life

Published: September 22nd 2024, 8:24:06 am

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The other day I lost a close friend of mine. No, luckily she is fine, but after our last meeting she wrote to me: "I decided to stop our close communication. But sometimes I will borrow money from you and you can ask me for help if you need it." At first I thought it was some kind of joke. We hadn't been apart for over 20 years. Yes, we had become very different over the years, but that bond, like a kinship bond, was very dear to me. I insisted on talking to her and found out that the reason is my personal boundaries. For example, during our meeting after a small amount of alcohol she starts calling everyone and inviting them to our party, and I ask her not to do that. She also doesn't like that I ask her not to approach men on the street with the offer to "meet my beautiful friend", i.e. me. In her opinion, all this restricts her freedom. After all, if she wants to behave in a crackpot way, she can't do it because of my requests. But it turns out that she wants me to accept her freedom (even if it interferes with me personally) without accepting my restrictions. It's very hard to put into words. But I feel very broken, like after a divorce. #life

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