I’m sorry for not posting like at all this month, I haven’t had any motivation to because me and my dad had a falling out again and I’ve just been feeling so unloved and lonely. My brains been telling me a lot lately that I’m gunna be alone forever, guys will only wanna talk to me online, and if they do meet up with me in person it’s just to fuck.
I had a falling out with my dad again because he’s going to a wedding this summer for his side of the family and he’s not bringing me, he tells me all the time that we should go and visit my aunt, he tells me next week when I have free time, that’s turns into next month, it’s been years since we saw my aunt and her husband also died a few years ago so I miss her so much. And it made me really upset to hear my dad was going to see her with my siblings who I’m not allowed to see because of my birth mom. It’s just been making me think about all the family I don’t have, how fun life used to be and how shitty it feels now. If I don’t start posting soon I won’t make money and eventually I won’t have money. Needing money has always been one of my biggest motivations in life but I just don’t care anymore. Having money didn’t gain me more friends or family so I just feel really burnt out, but also really angry at myself for just not posting. I haven’t been with someone in person in a long time too and I just wanna feel pretty and loved again
Ty for listening to me vent